TWH Week 6: Conclusion (July 2nd - 8th)
Reading: Conclusion
This week's reading is very short - a concise summary of the book. It invites us to review all that we've been trying to absorb these past five weeks. We've explored quite a lot, and we most likely won't be able to immediately begin to apply everything we've studied.
The exercise for this final week is to ask ourselves what aspect of all that we've learned are we going to intentionally apply to our lives. There are many specific things we could focus on; seeking to understand those we minister to, spending more time in solitude and prayer, learning how to articulate our inner events to others in a helpful, healthy way, more actively offering personal concern to others etc etc. Or, it may be a larger picture/concept to meditate on, and allow to filter down into day to day life.
a) Take a few minutes to do a quick review of the book. You are invited to share with us what you plan to keep in your mind, and really apply to your life, as we move on from here.
This truly is a remarkable group of people! I offer sincere thanks to all who participated in this discussion, either through posting comments or through reading them. As many have already expressed, the courage and honesty each person offered has effectively been a source of healing and hope for others. God bless,
Brynn
July 2nd, 2012 at 3:21 pm
Thank you Brynn and all. I feel that I short changed myself by the timing of this discussion in my current life. With all things, “what is worth doing is worth doing poorly”, and I prefer having the little time I had with all of you than none at all. Safety, Peace, and Joy to all of you as we share it with others each day. This is the book I wanted to hear other’s insights on more than any other and it helped tremendously. A side note — it makes my heart leap with joy to know that we in fact are not alone. The stories are different but the human emotions and feelings are felt by all or I should say “most”. Again Brynn, you’re the best! God Bless you.
July 3rd, 2012 at 12:29 pm
My hope is to offer more active concern for others. Especially, am interested in the sharing about Mr. Harrison and John. Years ago, I was in a Bible study class–studying Isaiah, and wrestling with something, really feeling intense, and the pastor actually told me “We’ll wait for you.” How great to find out that this is a more universal thing to say–one person to another person–than what I knew. But also to have experienced close community as the whole situation became unwrapped and I started to feel extremely close to that pastor. I think maybe because for one person to say that to another person doesn’t lock in any expectations or specific results but is instead an “action” sentence and opens the whole situation up to the person feeling freedom and release and closer to God and His forgiveness. I’ve been taught to understand something here and I hope to also be a person who is so caringly and trustingly with another person too as they deal with life. Henri Nouwen had such profound understanding of the Christian walk–thankful to you Brynn and all the rest of the people keeping his books being read and then into practice spiritually and also for the network of people who appreciate how he lived and wrote. I wonder if that pastor 20 years ago had actuallly read this book too. It’s uncanny to me but also very meaningful in my faith journey.
July 3rd, 2012 at 6:05 pm
I look into myself
anxious at what I might find.
I do not discover beauty,
and yet I am beautiful.
I do not find truth,
And yet I live the truth.
I find much poverty,
And yet I make others rich.
I do not find purity,
And yet my touch purifies.The Miracle is:
He is in me!
The Perfect One,
The Pure and Truthful One.
And I am not afraid anymore
when I see my dark side,
when I become disappointed in myself,
when I don’t achieve my goals.
My perfection is found in Him and
His perfection is visible in me!
——— This came to mind many times during the past month especially during the “being comfortable in our own skin” reflections and comments. I hope someone likes this. I actually spent time checking my old files (the old fashioned files = papers, folders, file draw …..you know those cabinets where you keep everything and can’t find anything timely when you want it
A little earlier I had to correct a parish name for someone and there was the article. Nobody remembers the author so forgive me if you are out there somewhere …… I got a lot of mileage out of this as it was written on my heart and I really wanted to share it and it appears the last week !!
July 4th, 2012 at 1:57 am
Thanks, Brynn for having another study. I think it was very worthwhile. I hope some of the silent observers got a lot out of it. Hopefully some of them can navigate the technology to put a post if they are up to it!
I liked the idea of hospitality as saying, “Come on over and be lonesome here.” I think that too often I perceive my normal feelings (loneliness, shame, etc) are abnormal. I would like to take these more in stride.
I am thankful above all else that Christ’s blood covers everything I can’t. When I look back at all the wrong ideas I have had and the ways I have been too harsh and judgmental, I’m glad I can say, “Lord have mercy.” At those times I didn’t have a clue that I was being harsh or judgmental! I’m glad the Teacher is humble and gentle at heart.
Matthew 11:28-30 (NLT) Christ’s words: “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because i am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear and the burden I give you is light.”
Hope to see you in Advent. by that time, my daughter will have left home and Dad will most likely be in a Nursing Home, so I’ll be looking anywhere for a shoulder to cry on. lol Seems like a long time away but it will surely fly. I’ve enjoyed each of you. I look back to the introduction to put context to your sharing. I will try to keep you in my prayers.
July 4th, 2012 at 6:36 am
Dear Rose, what a beautiful parting gift this poem is! Thank God for using you as a vessel to provide a reminder of God’s enduring presence with us, through us…we very flawed yet perfect human beings. Perfectly imperfect. While, seemingly, at the ready to harangue ourselves about our imperfections, instead of falling into the unfettered grace of it all.
Oh, that I may be as gentle, loving and receptive as is my 15 year old labrador retriever, content with whatever crumbs may fall at her feet. This crumb will sustain me for now.
Summer blessings!
July 4th, 2012 at 4:48 pm
I enjoyed the poem Rose - of course - so thank you very much for speaking to me for one through it. I intend to share it with some of my colleagues at our next meeting so you will be sharing down here in NZ. One of my colleagues has bought The Wounded Healer as a result of my enthusiasm for this discussion so appreciation to all who have made it such a rich experience.
I am going to make my intention after this discussion to offer more of the hospitality Marianne writes about. I like your way of putting it Marianne “Come on over and be lonesome here”.
Someone said to me this week what a difference it made to be able to have her feelings accepted in a way that made her less lonely. I think to do this for others I have to chain and bind my internal “fixer” of others and understand the way I can allow the One within to work through me. Perhaps that’s one meaning of “my yoke is easy to bear and my burden is light”.
Blessings to everyone.
July 4th, 2012 at 6:23 pm
You are very welcome Debby and thank you for mentioning it.
July 4th, 2012 at 11:24 pm
Dear Friends around the world,
Once again i have been blessed by people coming together (electronically this time), to share our stories and in the process gained a rich community. When i am alone too long, fear of my inadequacies creeps in and the idea of connecting to others becomes a burden. This burden is only lifted by opening up to others; gathering together leads to a wonderful congregation. The Bible verse promise proves to be true….”When 2 or more people gather I AM there.” When we gather we are not alone.
I want to earnestly be searching for the natural gifts that surround me, notice them and be intentionally thankful for them. I want to live in the moment and to allow my loneliness and brokenness to continue to destroy false gods and motivate me to congregate openly with other people where hope is found.
I hope to share another Henri Nouwen reading in the future. Are there any other readings schedules, Brynn? Thank you so much for the thoughtful questions and your shared thoughts. This was a wonderful experience for me. May I suggest that it be 2 weeks longer next time for I will truly miss it. Greetings from hot Texas. Sharolyn Patty
July 5th, 2012 at 10:31 am
This discussion has been an interesting and enlightening experience, even though I joined in a bit late. I appreciate the opportunity to participate. Several of you have alluded to a notion that I shall try to practice with others, pariculary Sharon, Marianne, and Elaine, and that is to have the humility to allow the Holy Spirit to do His work with me, in me, and through me. After all, in the final analysis it is not about us. Marianne mentioned the yoke and the burden, and it really is light if we allow Jesus to do his work through us as his body in the world. I keep being reminded of Henri Nouwen’s encounter with the captain of the ship. Sometimes we just have to set our egos aside and allow Him to do his work, to continue his mission. Thanks to all of you for providing me the opportunity to make these connections. God bless to all of you.
July 5th, 2012 at 12:32 pm
Like Sharolyn I would like to say “dear friends around the world”. I think Henri is smiling at this community of wounded healers. I know that I am very grateful for all that was shared during this discussion and I am sad to see it end!
There were times, I will admit, when I was having trouble connecting to this reading/discussion. And as I said in one of my posts, I think it was because I didn’t have a handle on what my ministry was and who it was I was supposed to be a wounded healer to! I’m glad I hung in there though! Through God’s grace and the help of this community, I am seeing that as I live each day as God’s beloved, grateful for the GIFT of loneliness and brokenness, He will provide, in HIS time (and at just the right time) a community and a ministry that He has designed just for me. Henri cautioned me not to be impatient (pg. 90) and I am now contentedly waiting!
“Oh that today you would listen to his voice” (Psalm 95 and page 102)
And like Marianne and Elaine, I feel the Spirit’s call towards hospitality..something that I know Henri (and God!) feel passionately about. Thanks for that great line Marianne: “Come on over and be lonely with me”
Rose…thank you for all of your encouragement to me and I will add to the other voices in thanking you for the beautiful poem you shared. I have been so inspired that I just sent out invitations to a wine, cheese and poetry gathering at my home!! I believe this wonderful forum gave me that courage.
Have a blessed summer everyone and I hope to be sharing with you all again in the future….where will God (through Brynn) lead us next??
Peace,
diane
July 6th, 2012 at 1:06 pm
Sharolyn, your greeting to “friends around the world” is perfect. And why is that so? Because Jesus, Emmanuel, “God with us” has called us his friends. (John 15:15). Just think about that — God almighty calling us his “friends” out of his love for us. And what is Jesus asking us to do? To do what he did… to do the will of the Father… to be “friends” to the other members of the body of Christ with whom we are sharing our journey. Isn’t that just what has happened in this virtual community called together by the love of God to share the wisdom of his servant Henri Nouwen? What a blessing and I thank each of you for your participation and trust.
As I flipped back through the Wounded Healer, the word “authentic” struck me. In the Introduction Henri writes, “…our service will not be perceived as authentic unless it comes from a heart wounded by the suffering about which we speak.” And in his brief conclusion Henri says that imitating Christ means “…living your own life as authentically as Christ lived his…” Henri is teaching us that for someone to be a minister (i.e., a wounded healer) they should put their own search for authenticity at the disposal of others by serving as witnesses for Christ through their hospitality to others – to the least brethren of mine (and that is all of us) among whom we will find Jesus waiting. This is a call to live with authentic hospitality – something that Mother Teresa certainly exemplified.
My wife and I are hosting the 10 episode series Catholicism in our charismatic community this summer. The first two episodes focus on the truth, the reality, the authenticity of Jesus in a most compelling way. So reading Henri’s call to live life as “authentically” as Christ lived his is a tremendous challenge.
Brynn asked us to think about what we would take away from this and try to put into practice. For me the answer is very similar to the one that I arrived at at the end of the Advent 2011 discussion of Nouwen’s Lifesigns.
I wrote then that there were four words that I would carry into carry into 2012: (God’s) Presence, (Live in the) Present, (Love God’s) People, and Prayer. Now having read the Wounded Healer, to these four I will add (Live with) Authentic Hospitality.
Like Rose, I feel that I shortchanged myself during this discussion and I am already looking forward to getting together again in Advent. Once again, thanks to each of you and a special thanks to Brynn for, once again, serving as moderator.
Peace and all good.
Ray
July 7th, 2012 at 12:45 pm
For me this was a profound book and my introduction to Henri in 1998. I desired to be a wounded healer back then, because I knew I had been wounded. But I did not know how to incorporate that desire into my life. My wounds in 1998 were very raw. My loneliness and isolation kept me very discouraged and the cares of this world consumed me. Back then it seemed that I was supposed to pick myself up by my boot straps. I have pondered what to share in regards to this time in the ‘Wounded Healer’.
This morning I felt led to share 3 analogies. Two analogies have come to me the past 2 weeks. The other came to me several years ago.
Analogy from the past
Picture the Bible as the blue prints of how to build our lives around Christian principles. We acquire the necessary material to build but lack the proper skills to bring the plans to fruition. But even if we have the skills there comes a time when we need other Christians in our lives to help lift the walls into place on the firm foundation of what Christ accomplished for us on the cross. In my isolation and loneliness all I could do was erect a lean to shack on my firm foundation. I still had the desire to be a wounded healer in some way, but it seemed all I was doing was running around and propping the walls of my lean to shack up as the storms of life rolled in and out. At that time I saw that there were many Christians who had also erected lean to shacks. Our society of isolationism kept us from coming together and helping each other erect our walls and attach them to our firm foundation.
2 Analogies from the present
The Christian path in many ways is very narrow as we navigate this life. In our isolation we can easily get sidetracked as we try to rid ourselves of our loneliness. This only causes us to get bogged down in the quicksand of the cares of this world. The more we struggle by ourselves the deeper we get bogged down in the quicksand of this life. My experience was that other Christians saw me stuck and all they did was throw me a strong stick of promised deliverance from stuckness by depending on God’s help and then walk on. They did not realize that they needed to hold onto the other end of the stick and act as the anchor point and as a channel of Gods power that flowed through the foundation through them and into the stick and spiritually energized and encouraged me as I pulled myself out of the quick sand of this life. That strong stick of Gods promised deliverance without an anchor point could not extricate me from my stuckness. All I had was my resourcefulness to take that stick and build a lean to shack on the surface of the quick sand of this life to protect myself a little bit. How many Christians are out there stuck in their own private pits of quick sand living their lives the best they can in their lean to shacks to keep from being overwhelmed by the reality that nothing and nobody is there for them?
The other analogy has to do with spiritual connecting and self talk verses soul talk.
Connecting as the world connects: Individuals obsessing on self and hugging themselves because there is no one to hug them in their isolation. When these individuals come together it is in a weak clump. Individuals can easily be picked off by the cares of the world. There is no strength in this group because they are each involved in self talk. This self talk is nothing more than the attitude of how can I get my needs met through this group to make my life work to some extent.
Spiritual connecting: Individually seeing ourselves as God sees us as Christians and realizing that God hugs us through the Holy Spirit who wants to renew our minds and strengthen our new natures that allows us to make the choice to come together and spiritually hug each other in a tight circle of connection. This spiritual connection is maintained through soul talk and soul talk is nothing other than loving our neighbors as ourselves. This soul talk enables individuals to endure the cares of the world but also strengthens us individually to be the anchor points for each other as we pull ourselves out of the quick sand that many are stuck in. When we are liberated from the quicksand in our lives we can more easily choose to shine forth an aspect of the character of Christ through our good actions. Our combined actions in a spiritually connected community shine forth the full Character of Christ. This spiritual connection is strengthened as we rely on the Holy Spirit to teach us soul talk rather than self talk.
There are 2 books that I feel fit in very well with the wounded healer and they expand and teach on spiritual connecting and what soul talk is. They are both by Larry Crabb. They are “Connecting” Healing for ourselves and our relationships, “Soul Talk” the language God longs for us to speak.
Hope what I have shared helps and inspires you to be wounded healer.
July 8th, 2012 at 7:00 am
Thank you Brynn for having this mid year book reading, it means that I got an opportunity to read another Henri Nouwen book, and thanks to everybody who contributed, i didn’t get to read everyone’s posts but knowing so many people were supporting each other was very inspiring.
What i will take away and make practical use of is the refection on the verbatim of the visit to Mr. Harrison. I am aware that when i visit people sometimes I feel out of sync with them or i sense there is something going on but cannot find the way to speak to the person that connects us.
How I am at the bedside is a reflection of how I am in the outside worlds and vice versa, so if I truly believe in a new tomorrow for myself then I can in some way take that new tomorrow to the people I visit. Understanding my own personal fear of death or really understanding what that means can help me be present to those on the ward, no matter what they are in hospital for the fear of death permeates hospitals.
I will let people know that I am there for them, I’ll be waiting, either literally or figuratively through prayer, I’ll be there.
Thanks again everyone , this is a book for me that will be worth reading again.
July 8th, 2012 at 8:58 am
How appropriate that the Daily Meditation for today emailed by the Henri Nouwen Society is The Wounded Healer. It is an excerpt from Bread for the Journey, a book of daily reflections written by Henri during the last year of his life.
The Wounded Healer: Nobody escapes being wounded. We all are wounded people, whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. The main question is not “How can we hide our wounds?” so we don’t have to be embarrassed, but “How can we put our woundedness in the service of others?” When our wounds cease to be a source of shame, and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers.
Jesus is God’s wounded healer: through his wounds we are healed. Jesus’ suffering and death brought joy and life. His humiliation brought glory; his rejection brought a community of love. As followers of Jesus we can also allow our wounds to bring healing to others.
What a wonderful way to conclude this online discussion - with the words of Henri written 24 years after the Wounded Healer was first published. And in the final sentence of the reflection, Henri sums up the entire book.
And if you don’t already receive the Henri’s Daily Mediations you may sign up for them at http://www.henrinouwen.org/Contact_Us/Subscribe/Subscribe.aspx
Peace and all good.
Ray
July 8th, 2012 at 10:19 am
Many wonderful gifts have been shared here. Deep thanks to each of you!
There are a number of things Henri shared in this book that I would like to take away with me… however the one that sticks out the most is learning to be at home with oneself. I love the idea that by learning to live truly at home in my own core, I can offer the freedom to others to dance their own dance, sing their own song etc. What a gift that would be to offer to another!
I pray that as I learn to live more at home in my own core I will at the same time surrender that core completely to God, such that others would see his radiance shining through me. How wonderful to invite another to dance their dance in the love, truth, safety and freedom that Jesus Christ offers.
As we conclude this discussion, I keep each of you in my thoughts and prayers. The next discussion is scheduled for Advent 2012 - Maureen will surely add the specifics of the start time to the Daily Meditations (that Ray mentioned above) as the time approaches.
Until we meet again,
Brynn
July 15th, 2012 at 10:01 pm
When is the next reading starting, I SOOO would like to join!
July 16th, 2012 at 8:01 am
Hi Myt,
Many thanks for your interest in our book discussions. The next one is scheduled for Advent, so it will begin sometime in late November. Brynn and I haven’t talked about an exact start date but the book we will be reflecting on is “Creative Ministry”. Hope you will be free to join us!
Many blessings,
Maureen
Resource Coordinator
Henri Nouwen Society