Creative Ministry - Week Two (closed-all comments welcome under Brynn’s most recent post.)
Reading: Chapter 1 - Teaching
This chapter is about teaching well and creatively, but Henri's message is not just for teachers in the traditional sense. Henri is speaking to every human heart. He asks us to face the things that keep us from truth, learning and growth, so that we can find freedom in ourselves and lead others in it. Below I've posted some questions to help get the discussion started but, as always, please feel free to share whatever comes up for you as you read through this chapter.
1) Consider the experience you have (past or present) as a student or as a teacher.
a) Can you recognize the ways in which the experience is often competitive, unilateral and alienating? Perhaps you could provide some examples from your own experience.
b) Did it surprise you to read that the student has a responsibility in facilitating a good teacher? In what areas of your life could you be a better student, and therefore facilitate a better teacher?
Henri challenges each one of us to be agents of true change in the ministry of teaching, starting deep within ourselves. In order to do this we must first understand our own resistance to change.
2) Henri first refers to the assumption that it is better to give than to receive. We feel comfortable giving, but often resist receiving.
a) Do you find it difficult to receive from others?
b) If you do receive from others, do you immediately start planning how you can re-pay that person?
c) Can you think of a person in your life whom you could bless by truly receiving (learning) from them?
3) Another factor that can keep us from truly learning is the great societal pressure we often live under.
a) Do you find yourself living life all caught up in the need for formal recognition, or in meeting the expectations of others?
b) Do you ever think about what it would take to shift your focus back to true living and learning under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and for the glory of God alone?
4) Finally, Henri suggests that true and deep learning can only happen if we are willing to face some of our deepest fears, and be honest about our human condition.
a) What insight does the Holy Scripture give us into our human condition?
b) Do you find that our culture purposely helps us to avoid the reality that we are all "naked, powerless, destined to die, and, in the final analysis, totally alone and unable to save each other or anyone else" (p25).
c) Have you ever tried to truly face this reality? Or perhaps it wasn't your intention, but the circumstances of life brought you face to face with your human condition. How did your experience open your heart to the tender hand of the Teacher, our Lord Jesus Christ?
November 26th, 2012 at 11:24 am
Hello, as always I’m running behind schedule. I live in Michigan with both my sons in college. The house is quieter these days and it was a joy to have them home over Thanksgiving break.
I am looking forward to this discussion as I have enjoyed several other Henri Nouwen book discussions. There is a richness and comfort from what everyone shares.
Question: d) What do I really have to do with my neighbours? is the one which struck me most, closely related to: e) Is it my desire, task, or vocation to intervene in anyone’s life at all? The past couple of years I’ve been questioning what my purpose is as it seems no one really wants what I have to offer. So I find my introvert self drawing more and more in, not know where to reach out or how best to help. Always second guessing myself. Looking for someplace to belong and fit in where I’m needed. Hoping to find some direction from reading the book and other people’s comments.
God bless all of you have shared and those reading along. You are all a blessing to me.
November 27th, 2012 at 8:56 pm
Hello everyone:
This question about teaching is very pertinent as I am a Clinical Educator. I have found some students who so much want to control the learning experience that they cannot learn - and I cannot learn from them when they are in that mindset!
Truly facing what I need to learn is difficult. It requires me leaning on the unwavering love of Jesus for me and for how I was created. I find I often want to deny the things I really need to learn and maybe blame someone else!
Interestingly, Alzheimer’s Disease changed my Dad for the better in that he had to accept help. In my relationship with him all through life, he never needed much from me. This interfered with the back and forth of a normal relationship. I keep this in mind when developing relationships with my now adult children.
Elisa - you’ve fallen for the Devil’s oldest trick in the book - believing that no one wants what you have to offer. You were created a beloved child of God with unique gifts and talents for those right where you are at. It is possible you are trying to use what you have to offer in places where your gifts and talents are no longer needed. Look around you - there are lots of people who have less than you have - physically, emotionally, financially and relationally, and need what you have to offer.
Happy reading!
November 28th, 2012 at 12:19 am
I’ve been a Catholic educator for close to 30 years now. I was transformed as a teacher when my father was ill (1989) and my world was rocked. Up until that time, I had created lesson plans for the year in August (I probably redefine Type A), but when my Dad weakened, and when I realized that he would die . . . I would go days without making one lesson plan, without grading one paper.
And one day I arrived at school and I hadn’t done one thing to prepare for the 5 classes that I would teach that day. And that I had probably only gotten more than a couple hours of sleep.
And I walked into the classroom and I allowed it to be less directed and more interactive. I also allowed my students into my personal life. At that moment I became a better teacher.
And I owe it to my Dad.
November 28th, 2012 at 8:53 am
Boy, these questions really struck a chord with me, much more than did the chapter. As I pondered your questions, Brynn, all of a sudden I began remembering a time in my life that illustrates nearly all of them. I have always been turned off by someone acting superior, especially in a teacher. On the other hand, I was energized and excited by someone who shared knowledge because they in turn were excited by the interest and knowledge of a person who wanted to learn from them. I ended up in church ministry because of a wise pastor who started out as a source of comfort when I left a marriage where I had constantly been told I was a failure–and who kept telling me that I was a worthwhile, talented person until I finally I began believing it. I was not the only person this wise priest did this to, but it had a life-changing effect on me. For the first time in my life I fit somewhere; I wasn’t a square peg being forced into a round hole. I was okay with all my blemishes, and it was a totally freeing experience. Months later, the priests had an institute on the RCIA (just being implemented then) and he came home from that and asked me to (with the associate pastor) design a RCIA process for our parish. When I said I didn’t know enough about the Faith to teach it, he sent me home with a pile of books (he was a voracious reader). I would read them and discuss them with him. I was working nights at the time, getting off just in time to attend the 6 a.m. Mass. We’d discuss things for a bit then I’d go home to bed. Soon others wanted to join our discussion and an informal study group just “happened”. It was so exhilarating and we became so excited about our Faith, that I created the RCIA process to be the same–a theme for each class, some easy-to-understand reading to be done beforehand, and discussion that took everyone where they were and focused on growing closer to God from that point. I had a team of people who took turns teaching, but all of us were there each week to include our own stories and excitement about the Faith. Most of the team came from the informal study group after Mass. After the RCIA had been going for about 18 months, he asked me one day to leave my job, take a 25% cut in wages plus retirement, and come work for the parish. I’ll never forget he said he wanted me to reform the CCD program (which he felt was useless), continue the RCIA and develop the first adult education program for the parish. By that point I felt I could do anything and was excited by the challenge. Everything I did started from the base of acceptance of the person and inviting them to become excited about the riches of our Faith. When my beloved pastor retired, a second pastor came who wasn’t himself nurturing but who supported what we were doing. By that time the Benedictine oblates had established a monastery nearby and many of us had become Oblates, so those of us in ministry decided, in order to keep learning and discussing so as to give to our parishioners, we would do a retreat day at the Monastery once a month. We continued that throughout that pastor’s long tenure and into the third one’s. It only ended when I quit because the new pastor did not appreciate any leadership by lay people and made my life so miserable that I changed jobs and could no longer take a weekday off. He needed to be the one from whom all inspiration began and who was recognized for that. It was no longer “safe” to be vulnerable, admit a lack and initiate a way to learn something to improve that lack. Other staff members left, and the team which had been so viable and ministered to people in all kinds of need was gone. Adult Ed was gone, the RCIA was a lecture program and CCD became again very minimal with no effort to reach out to marginalized parishioners and get the children into CCD. It broke my heart. Finally, we have a gentle pastor again and some healing is happening. I still miss those exciting adult faith sharing groups.
November 28th, 2012 at 9:26 am
Hi Everyone,
Question e) Is it my desire, task, or vocation to intervene in anyone’s life ?
Often I have desired to fix others problems by helping them & neglecting myself, something I learned very quickly growing up in a dysfunctional family. My attention was always on others (such as siblings & our mom) & only for myself to survive.
Through prayer group, observation, journaling & being quiet I have ever so slowly learned that I can be a good support by being an example to others & I can offer help and only act if they do ask and if I help & we develop an honest & sincere relationship with each other.
I need to continue to work on my relationship with God to heal and develop more peace in my life.
Elisa I was very moved by your written presentation. I live close to you, actually right across the border near Windsor, Ontario.
I believe you are in transition with your sons @ college. What I found when our son & then daughter left for University was to pray, have positive thoughts as this is a time to get to know yourself better. Journaling for me is good as it keeps a written records of my thoughts & progress & challenges. This coupled with prayer gave me direction & little by little I was able to help here & there & always asking God for direction & thanking God daily for the hope, healing & peace that was being placed in my life.
It takes time, yet it does happen & it is truly a new chapter in your life.
How we think, truly impacts how we feel.
I continue to work on my thinking & I am grateful to have such a loving God in my life to hear & answer my prayers in God’s time..this develops patience & humility which is so needed in the hi tech world.
God Bless !
November 28th, 2012 at 11:26 pm
Cel, that is quite an interesting story you relate! Sounds like things are coming around. You never know what path God is laying out for folks.
And Mary, you reminded me of something a friend told me a long time ago, that I had to put myself first, and not be out trying to fix everyone else. Once you put yourself first, and get your own house in order you can then go out and begin working with others safely.
In any event, to the book! Reading Chapter One was interesting for me, and challenging. It was challenging since I am in education, and I immediately wanted to focus on the literal aspects of the student /teacher relationship that Henri Nouwen describes. However, I stepped back, and tried to figure out what his point was in describing that relationship. It seems to me that it is all about humility. That the teacher needs to humble himself or herself in the presence of the student, and transform from being one who imparts knowledge to one who facilitates the learning of the student(s).
I was reminded of something that Henri Nouwen wrote in his book The Selfless Way of Christ. Therein, he states that “[f]ormation is transformation, and transformation means a growing conformity to the mind of Christ, who did not cling to his equality with God but emptied himself.” Pg 70. To be effective teachers, we need to empty ourselves as well, take the student where he or she is at the moment, and allow them to grow from there with our guidance and assistance that we provide out of love.
Jesus was the epitome of a teacher. He was often times even called “teacher,” even by those in power. How did he teach? By asking questions and relating stories, both of which got people thinking. And that is the goal, to get folks thinking. Like Socrates. He was convinced that everyone had knowledge inside of them, and all he had to do was draw it out of a person and allow them to realize what they already knew by asking a series of questions.
Just an aside, question 4 references our deepest fears, and about being honest about our human condition. Yesterday morning, in the Liturgy of the Hours, during morning prayer, I read from Isaiah 38: 10-14, 17-20. It was rather sobering at the time, and recognition and honest assessment of our human condition should humble anyone. Check it out if you like. Maybe you will see it differently.
Thanks to all of your for sharing your thoughts.
November 29th, 2012 at 8:39 am
Elisa, we introverts have to work to reach out but it’s worth it. I have found that a small group of like-minded people with a worth-while topic of interest empowers me to reach out and find a way I can serve. I don’t do chit-chat and don’t shine in social gatherings, but give me a meaty topic to discuss and I come alive. Then my gifts are obvious to others, and I see similar gifts in them. Several times that has led me to areas of service. That’s how our parish Bereavement Ministry and a couple of other groups began. It’s happened at the Shelter, too. Most recently it happened again when I participated in our community’s study on poverty. I kept thinking I was too busy but every time I heard an advertisement about it I felt a tug that somehow I had to be involved. I didn’t like the first large group meeting but they gave us a choice to choose to participate in a small group and we chose, by day and time of meeting, which one we wanted. Our small group was composed of several of us who work with people in need (from mental health services, the senior center, child protection services and me from the Shelter) as well as a homeless person, a VA outpatient, a single mom trying to get out of poverty and a young married mom who just can’t get ahead. It was a dynamic group, with spirited discussions on each week’s topic and the final prioritizing of our assessment of what to do first. All of our small group attended the large wrap-up meeting, sat together and celebrated the energy our group had generated–and all of us have chosen to join one of the task forces working on the 7 priorities chosen for our community, though no one from my small group is in my particular task force group. I’m sure your community is no different. I’m sure there is a “call” to ministry for you. Sometimes we have to look for it; sometimes it knocks us over the head. But it’s there and you have gifts that are needed, so don’t get discouraged.
November 30th, 2012 at 7:21 pm
As is always the case with Henri Houwen, a thought-provoking and multi-faceted reading. In reviewing the chapter again, here are several things that spoke to me…
First, the story of the monk. “You have become a passive victim of an ongoing movement you do not understand.” That certainly describes my current situation at work and one in which I pray as Henri did, “Lord show me the way you want me to go and I will follow - but please be clear and unambiguous about it.” In this case, I need to let the Lord be my teacher because there is little I can do by myself to change the situation at work. I recognize that I have scotosis related to one of my colleagues that I need to get past.
Second, “Education is not a primarily a ministry because of what is taught but because of the nature of the educational process itself… the teaching relationship is the most important factor in the ministry of teaching.” Henri’s comparison of teaching as a violent process and as a redemptive process make this clear for me.
In the violent process the relationship is one of power - the power the teacher has over the student and the power that may accrue to the student that wins the competition. This is the way of the world today - getting the best grades to get into the best schools to get the best job to achieve the greatest worldly success. And you can do all of these things - at least for a while - without ever really knowing yourself or anyone else - because “what you have” defines your value to society, and maybe to yourself.
Teaching as a redemptive process turns that totally around. What is important is establishing a relationship where we can learn from each other. And what we bring to that relationship is “who we are” - including the understanding that we are not alone and cannot live by ourselves. Good teachers know that they need students to be fulfilled and good students value their teachers. And both teachers and students realize that it is through developing a relationship based on trust that growth occurs. In that sense, we are all teachers and students all our relationships. We have each been gifted by God and we each have something we can teach and learn from each other. And isn’t that the essence of community and service to each other?
Third, “Teachers and students must together search for what is true, meaningful, and valid, and give each other the chance to play each other’s role.” Here is that trusting relationship again and, more important, the recognition that there are things in life that are true, meaningful, and valid and worth searching for. Our life journey is one of discovery - discovering the love of Jesus has for us, opening our hearts and discovering that we, like Jesus himself, are God’s beloved, and then discovering and loving our neighbor and the “least brothers of mine.” And what ties all this together is the fundamental and profound, truth that “God is love and whoever remains in love remains in God and God in him.” (1 John 4:16)
Thanks to each of you for your posts and I look forward to sharing Advent with you.
Peace and all good.
Ray
November 30th, 2012 at 7:55 pm
Thanks for all the really great sharing so far!
The the thing that stuck with me this week is the idea of blessing another by choosing to receive from them, or more specifically learning from them. Many times I’ve observed how close relationships can become highly competitive. Perhaps it is subtle, but it almost becomes an obsession to prove the other person wrong, or highlight their mistakes. Perhaps it is because relationships can often show us our own “ugly” side, and that naturally scares us, so we work very hard to point out the ugly side of the person we are relating to (whatever the relationship may be).
But, here Henri calls us to humility in relationship (as Chuck explored very well in his comment above). Choosing to put my defences down. Choosing to give up the need to prove myself, and truly listening to the other. Listening with ears to learn. I can imagine how it would completely invert or avoid a competitive relationship, which can be very destructive, and change it into one of positive momentum and growth as each person learns from each other.
So that is what I’ve been mulling over this week, and for me I’m thinking about how it relates to my marriage. Choosing to always listen with ears to learn would be a wonderful way to show deep respect for my husband, and contribute to the lifelong positive momentum and growth that God has in mind for us.
Brynn
December 1st, 2012 at 11:01 am
As we get ready for the new week reading Creative Ministry, I would like to say this chapter was enlightening. Thomas Merton also shares the meaning to Henri’s words on p.25, by stating that there is a center to all of us where our soul resides, and it is God’s. It is God’s gift to us, and there is nothing we can do to touch these, but let it be, by God’s hand.
That’s how I feel by Henri’s words, facing head on the nakedness, and surrendering to God’s holy hand.
I see this with my work with my Dad. He has been put in a situation where he has a full-time caregiver. My Dad, who was, with his beloved wife, Catherine, truly a devotee to independence. There would be no caregivers coming into his life. A year ago, he would dismiss the idea.
But today, he has faced is situation, originally fighting this idea, but now accepting it eloquently, and I have the grace and privilege of listening to him reveal this to me, his daughter, one of his caregivers.
I also enjoyed Henri’s descriptions of violent teaching and redemptive. I have experienced both, and now when I sit with my dad, I carry with me the redemptive image. I see us as teacher (my dad), and student (me), enjoying the circular motion of the give and take, of the learning process.
I look forward to this week’s reading. All be well.
December 1st, 2012 at 12:52 pm
As a p.s. from my comment from last night…
Today I went for breakfast with a friend, and afterwards I went with her to the dollar store to get some helium balloons for her brother-in-law’s 40th Birthday party.
We were in a small town in southern Ontario, Canada. The fellow attending to us at the dollar store was clearly originally from another country. I can imagine that many people in the town hardly notice him - just the guy who runs the dollar store. Not exactly the most prestigious job in town. However, this fellow may well be a very accomplished person with a lot to offer the community.
As he was filling our helium balloons, my friend mentioned that she heard there is a shortage of helium in the world. The fellow responded that it is true, but I sensed that he had more to offer. Since I had been pondering this concept of blessing another by learning from them, I decided to ask him a few more questions. He was in fact very knowledgeable, and had a lot of interesting information to offer.
It is something very small, but I imagine that those few minutes of his day when he was able to teach me were in fact a blessing to him. And they were to me as well.
Brynn
December 1st, 2012 at 4:19 pm
First, I wish to thank everyone for sharing their thoughts about my comments at the beginning of the week. I was especially touched that you cared enough to respond specifically about it. Marianne, you are right about how the Devil is always leading us astray, and good reminder for me to be more vigilant about this. Mary K, you too have identified another aspect I struggle with and this transition is harder than I thought it would be, rediscovering who I am “without” my children. I get so used to a routine, change can be quite a challenge. I need to remember my thoughts have a large impact on my feelings. Cel Hope, you identified me well as an introvert, which easily leads me to withdraw. Thank you for encouraging me to reach out in my “introvertedness.” You have so many good ideas. I hadn’t checked the week 2 responses unitl the end of the week. You all must have been praying for me this week and God certainly answered your prayers in a most direct way. Thursday in particular I had 2 unusual opportunities to help at least 3 people. First, a friend called early in the morning about an auto accident she was in (she’s okay). Even though she said she was fine, I felt I needed to just be there with her, especially since her husband was out of town. So I spent half my day going with her wherever she needed to go until I felt she would be alright. And I so felt that is what I needed to do and she really appreciated the support. At the end of the same day, my neighbor pointed out a large tree behind her yard belonging to another neighbor (the house has been vacant for a “long” time) which was uprooting and if it fell it would fall onto her deck. So ended up trying to find contact information about this person and both called and wrote her a letter at a different address to make her aware of this situation. Again, I felt like I was able to help someone else in a way to use what I had to offer. Thank you again, it’s truly appreciated.
December 1st, 2012 at 6:24 pm
Brynn’s (Moderator) comment about close relationships becoming competitive struck a chord with me. When she wrote, “Choosing to give up the need to prove myself, and truly listening to the other. Listening with ears to learn,” I heard something I needed to hear.
Looking forward to next week.
Peace and all good.
Ray
December 1st, 2012 at 8:34 pm
Wow, a powerful chapter, so many things I’ve gotten wrong when I really take a hard look at myself. Perhaps my resistance to change is what makes this transition from “active” mother to one watching more from the sidelines in my children’s lives so challenging.
Brynn’s question 3)a) “Do you find yourself living life all caught up in the need for formal recognition, or in meeting the expectations of others?” Yes because I was raised that way, always feeling a need to do what others expected. It also seems to stem from esteeming others better than myself and deferring to them. I also use it to let me know if I’m on track or not. It’s a struggle for me not to worry about what others think of me. This type of living is also very exhausting and unfulfilling in the end.
I can see why those who were around Jesus, stayed with him and others sought him out, because he accepted them as they were and encouraged them to be better.
Thanks for letting me share. I am looking forward to the coming chapters. God bless your week with His Peace and Joy.
December 2nd, 2012 at 8:43 am
Brynn, your comment about the man at the dollar store reminded me of something I learned so long ago that I can’t remember who said it, but which made me aware of a lack in me. The person said that we never look at or acknowledge the people who serve us, such as waitresses or people at the check-out counter, and in so doing unconsciously de-humanize them. I started noticing and it was very true. From that time on I have made it a practice to really acknowledge people in those “invisible” jobs, to look them in the eyes and trey to remember their names from their name tags (hard thing for an introvert). Doing so has opened me to a lot of encounters with people who could teach me things.
And the comment about accepting blessings was a powerful one. Years ago, when I was still stuck in the “I must be independent, self-sufficient and never-admit-I-need-help” mentality, a friend said, when I refused to let her do some small thing for me, “Would you rob me of a blessing?” That stopped me in my tracks and I asked what in the world she was talking about. She replied that it was all very well to be the person who helped, but if I didn’t accept help then I kept friends from experiencing the blessing of helping me. That was a very humbling moment. I still struggle to accept help, or (heaven forbid!) ask for help, but I have learned not to work at appearing invincible.
Elisa, I’m so glad my comments helped you. And excited you noticed ways where you can help!
Brynn, I do have a question. I guess when I signed up a year or so ago I did so incorrectly. I’m always listed by my full name while others are identified by their first names. Can we change my ID to just Cel?
Thanks, Cel
December 2nd, 2012 at 2:49 pm
Hi Cel,
Your computer probably does “auto-fill” for you, and therefore always includes your full name. But, if you just change it, like you did in your most recent post, whatever you enter in the name field will be what shows up.
Brynn