Reading:
Rembrandt and the Father (p87)
The Father Welcomes Home (p93)
The Father Calls for a Celebration (p103)
We’ve been on a remarkable journey so far, with deep and rich times of reflection, sharing and encouragement. We’ve considered the younger son, we’ve reflected on the elder son, and now we turn our attention to the father.
1) Henri writes “As Rembrandt’s own life moves toward the shadows of old age, as his success wanes, and the exterior splendor of his life diminishes, he comes more in touch with the immense beauty of the interior life” p 89
a) In your own life journey have you experienced the shift from looking to outward success/ beauty to seeing and celebrating the beauty of the interior?
b) What facilitated this shift in you?
2) Henri invites us to expand our understanding of God’s love, and consider our response to His love. “The elder son’s dilemma is to accept or reject that his father’s love is beyond comparisons; to dare to be loved as his father longs to love him or to insist on being loved as he feels he ought to be loved…Will the elder son be willing to kneel and be touched by the same hands that touch his younger brother? Will he be willing to be forgiven and to experience the healing presence of the father who loves him beyond compare?” (p97).
a) Do you still insist on being loved as you feel you “deserve”?
b) Are you ready to dare to be loved as your Father longs to love you? To experience the healing presence of the Father who loves you beyond compare?
c) How might this non-comparing love lead you to an experience of deep gratitude? (see p99).
3) In the chapter “The Father Calls for a Celebration” we are reminded of the deep joy that God wants to give us as we live each day. “Wouldn’t it be good to increase God’s joy by letting God find me and carry me home and celebrate my return with the angels? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to make God smile by giving God the chance to find me and love me lavishly?… Can I accept that I am worth looking for? Do I believe that there is a real desire in God to simply be with me?” p101
a) What emotions, fears, thoughts come up for you as you consider the possibility of living with joy?
4) Finally, Henri gives us a hint as to how we can welcome joy into our lives, by giving us an example of how his friend lived it. “I have a friend who is so deeply connected with God that he can see joy where I expect only sadness…. He tells about the small wonders of God. At times I realize I am disappointed because I want to hear “newspaper news,” exciting and exhilarating stories that can be talked about among friends. But he never responds to my need for sensationalism. He keeps saying: ‘I saw something very small and very beautiful, something that gave me much joy'” (p107).
a) What do you learn from this example about how to open your heart to God’s joy?
b) How might you practically begin to live this?
You all have truly astounded us with your thoughtful and honest sharing, and we look forward to hearing from you again this week. As always, there is so much to be explored in this text, feel free to share what came up for you.
Ray and Brynn
Q-1
The process of shifting from looking to outward success to seeing and celebrating the beauty of the interior, starts only, I think, when one has suffered many trials (embracing our crosses) and as a result, these experiences causes one to see the “immensity of the divine love.” Probably this shift is facilitated at moments in Holy Communion and prayer, when “human and divine” “fragile and powerful” meet. However, as St. Teresa of Avila writes in the Interior Castle: “The clacking old mill must keep on going round and we must grind our own flour: neither the will nor the understanding must cease working.” The needed catalyst is again humility.
Q-2
What allows me to become grateful is the fact that God’s grace comes first; His unconditional love with not “Ifs” included. Now, in order to experience a deep gratitude is possible when I actively give my love away. So while I am been love, and want to remain in his love, the way to express my gratitude is by sharing this love. I can not keep it for myself. Henri writes that God’s love cannot force, constrain, etc. so it would be the same for me. It is an act of freedom to accept God’s healing love.
Q-3
I recognize that I am a sinner, but I also aware of God’s grace, and because of this gift I am joyful. So allowing myself to become a “conduit” of Divine Love, I build true real friendships and love become effortless.
Rodolfo, your statement, “It is an act of freedom to accept God’s healing love.” said so much to me in answer to my own fears of accepting God’s love. Question quotes Henri as part of the Elder Son’s dilemma is “to dare” to allow himself to be loved by the Father.
The section in the readings on the Father that I kept returning to was what Henri wrote about the Father’s heart. I kept going over the questions on page 106: “How am I to let myself be found….known….and loved by God.” It sounds easy enough to allow myself to receive God’s love, but old issues of fear, shame, regret, and mistrust act as walls that block my ability to accept that love.
As Henri discusses, God seeks me, runs out to me, and wants to enfold me in the safety of his strong and comforting hands. Those hands in the painting are reminiscent to me of the healing power of the laying on of hands such as described in Luke 4:40 – “At sunset, the people brought to Jesus all who had various kinds of sickness, and laying his hands on each one, he healed them.”
If I dare step beyond my self-constructed walls, my Father’s loving embrace has the power to heal my shame, my fear, my regret, my mistrust. Thus, accepting my Father’s love is truly and act of freedom.
I agree totally Rodolfo. I too am a sinner, saved by the grace of God. I have great love and faith in our Lord, yet I am not perfect. My heart’s desire is to serve others and be Christ to those that do not know Him. I give my love to others by sharing my faith, or whatever it is they need. I am no longer mine, for I have been bought with a price. It is the Lord’s will and it is His walk with me that I want others to see and experience.
When I take Holy Communion the presence of God is there and I know that I must do what He asks of me…..helping, loving others with whatever means I have. It is no longer I but Christ.
Oh I, how I love this book, love this study, and love being God’s Beloved! It lifts my spirit and fills my heart and soul! As I read these meaningful words and messages, I am sitting in my garden, with orchids blooming and birds singing, joining them in rejoicing in God’s love. If I take just one message from this study, it is an important one; that I am God’s Beloved! Thank you, gracious God.
Being open to the “joy of the father” has been especially difficult battling Stage IV cancer, however I agree that looking for the “small and beautiful” in the world is a great way of coping.
I love the quote on page 115 “I have to learn to “steal” all the real joy there is to steal and lift it up for others to see.” It is consistent with one of my favorite quotes from Tony Snow, former White House Press Secretary who died from colon cancer. He said:
“We understand our mortality, and we revel in the blessing of every breath we draw and every day we see. Our job is to bring a little heaven to earth, in the form of faith and love.”
To me, this statement comports very well with the mission of becoming the “father.”
Question #2: Henri invites us to expand our understanding of God’s love, and consider our response to His love…will the elder son be willing to kneel and be touched by the same hands that touch his younger brother…?
a. Do you still insist on being loved as you feel you “deserve?”
Unfortunately, yes. This week’s chapter has been the hardest one for me so far. It is not easy to face the elder son in myself.
I have tried to focus on the image of being embraced by the Father with my head on his chest-kneeling before Him in complete honesty and trust.
I think I may have shared this before, but in January of this year my Spiritual Director encouraged me to ” pray for the DESIRE to desire mercy and compassion towards your own self.” Not an easy prayer, but I have been clinging to it this past week.
b. Are you ready to be loved as your Father longs to love you? To experience the healing presence of a Father who loves you beyond compare?
Even just reading this question makes my stomach queasy and my heart race. I am scared to death!
Maybe my prayer today needs to be for the desire to desire to accept Abba’s unconditional love of me.
c. How might this non-comparing love lead you to an experience of deep gratitude?
If it ever got to the point of taking this message of unconditional love from my head (intellectual understanding and acceptance) to my heart (experiencing in my heart and soul deep forgiveness, acceptance and love) I do in fact believe it would be life changing and my whole being would exude a sense of joy and peace that does not come from this world.
Baby steps Joni, baby steps. I cannot learn to run without first learning to walk-I cannot try to fully and completely understand the truth and wisdom of God if my mind and soul are not ready for that yet.
Lord I believe, help my unbelief.
Dear Joni,
May The Lord Bless You & Keep You.
May The Lord make His Face to Shine upon You,
and May The Lord be gracious unto You,
and Give You Peace ~!!
(Numbers 6: 24-26)
Joni, Baby steps would do. Our loving Father understands. You are not alone. we are all with you as we too struggle in a different way. God Bless! SHALOM!
Thanks to each of you for another wonderful week of heartfelt sharing.
For me Question #3 is a real challenge (just ask my wife Dawn). Intellectually I know that I am greatly blessed, however, like Henri, “Here lies the core of my spiritual struggle: the struggle against self-rejection, self-contempt, and self-loathing.” (p 107) Then, “Somehow, I have become accustomed to living with sadness, and so have lost the eyes to see the joy and the ears to hear the gladness that belongs to God and which is to be found in the hidden corners of the world.” (p 115) And, finally, “I am challenged to let go of all the voices of doom and damnation that drags me into depression and allow the ‘small’ joys to reveal the truth about the world I live in.” (p 116).
Henri emphasizes that we can–and we are called to–choose God’s joy in the midst of the darkness of the world. “It is the joy of belonging to the household of God whose love is stronger than death and who empowers us to be in the world while already belonging to the kingdom of joy.” And like Henri, I have experienced my life as the Younger and I continue to struggle with my life as the Elder and I know that I am called to be the Father for our family and those God brings into my life. But I have learned this week that in order to become the Father I must constantly choose to live with joy and not get bogged down with the cynicism of the world. I need to turn away from the darkness of the “…sadness, melancholy, cynicism, dark moods, somber thoughts, morbid speculations, and waves of depression…” by choosing to actively join in the joyous celebration of the Father. God is good and, like Jesus, I am his beloved. That is the reason to choose joy every day regardless of what else might be happening in the world.
Ray
Ray, Thank you very much for both your reflections. The first post about the touch of God/Jesus is meaningful to me. It is like when people ask why did you become a nun, all I can say is God has touched. It is a deep feeling of being accepted, loved and held safe in spite of my unworthiness. “I am a beloved child of God and He needs me.” Of course when life was dark, dreary and filled with disillusion and despair, it is His touch that has brought me out. If He had not continued to touch me through compassionate mentors, understanding spiritual guides, loving friends and supporting family I don’t know where I will be!God’s touch is the blessing that keeps me going, believing and living peacefully.
Thanks for sharing about the book Upon This Rock–The Life of St. Peter by Walter F. Murphy.I would very much like to read the book. I will try to get it. Meanwhile I would check out the link you have given.
You spoke so much for me too, when you wrote:” I have learned this week that in order to become the Father I must constantly choose to live with joy and not get bogged down with the cynicism of the world. I need to turn away from the darkness of the “…sadness, melancholy, cynicism, dark moods, somber thoughts, morbid speculations, and waves of depression…” by choosing to actively join in the joyous celebration of the Father. God is good and, like Jesus, I am his beloved. That is the reason to choose joy every day regardless of what else might be happening in the world.”
Thanks again. God Bless!
Henri’s words combined with Rembrandt’s painting express our heart’s deepest yearning–“Here is the God I want to believe in: a Father who…has stretched out his arms in merciful blessing…always hoping his children will return so that he can speak words of love to them and let his tired arms rest on their shoulders.” I first read this book over a decade ago at a time of near despair and I have felt the blessing of the Father’s tired hands on my shoulders.
The concept of the “touch” of God is also deeply meaningful to me. Henri writes, “The Father wants to say, more with his touch than with his words, good things of his children… Those hand are God’s hands. They are also the hands of my parents, teachers, friends, healers, and all those God has given me to remind me how safely I am held.”
In reading this I recall several passages in one of my favorite books, the recently republished novel, Upon This Rock–The Life of St. Peter by Walter F. Murphy. The narrator is a fictional character named Quintus who followed Jesus during his time on earth and remained with St. Peter afterward. Quintus wrote a book about Jesus (known as the Book of Quintus, or Q) and is now telling Peter’s story. Quintus writes this about the touch of God:
“Quintus said, ‘What’s unnatural is that you are going to Jerusalem anyway. Why?’
Peter replied, ‘Because he (i.e., Jesus) touched me. It is enough. That is the best answer I can offer you, Quintus, the truth. I don’t know how much I believe that he’s right, that we can persuade the world to love. I’m not sure this isn’t a mad scheme that’ll kill us all, orphan our children, and do no good except amuse the crowd at our execution. I don’t even know why I follow the Master or why I love him; but when he reached out his hand and touched me it was all very clear. I know I love him–whether or not I understand him. I love him with all the power in my soul.'”
Later, at the end of the novel, as Quintus is leaving Rome after Peter’s crucifixion:
“Then at last I, too, saw the risen Master. He did not dance like a ghost in the glow reflected from the walls along the river’s banks or appear as a shining light in the sky. It was a real man I saw, the man I had followed around Galilee, young, as if the years had never come upon him. He placed his hand on my shoulder, his voice soft, yet firm: ‘I have touched you,’ he said and then he was gone.
There was nothing else. No praise for past deeds, no exhortation to future good works, no marching orders, not even a promise of eventual victory or reward, only a simple statement of a simple truth. It was enough.”
We have each been touched by God in our own special way. The challenge for me is to accept that touch and to live in God’s love and without fear; to reach out and to touch others without expecting or desiring anything in return; and to do so knowing that I am never alone.
Ray
P.S. If you are interested in learning more about Upon This Rock you can find book reviews (including one I wrote) here. http://www.amazon.com/Upon-This-Rock-Life-Peter/product-reviews/1610272528/ref=cm_cr_dp_see_all_btm?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending
Ray, thank you for each of your posts today. It has been a tough week for me, but reading your reflections has given me the courage to take some to ponder and to try and answer at least a few of this week’s questions.
Your posts have reminded me that I am not walking this journey alone.
Blessings
This weeks chapters about the Father cause me a lot of questioning and thinking. Many of my questions bring me in my past and remind me of the turmoil of emotions and feelings I projected as a little girl onto the church. I tried to find out what at that time did disturb me so much.
Now I realize that my childlike imagination of ever lasting and omnipresent love was maybe more in tune with the Fatherly love than the love based on moral conditions the way I heard it in church. My leaving church brought me eventually to many places where I learned how the love between human beings is often not lasting. That the love between human beings is almost like “limited” in extent. It took me then quit some time to find out that in my heart I still could remember the love that I had recognized as a little girl (at that time also only in my heart). That this love was not lost nor had it disappeared. That is was me who had to return to it.
I assume now that the love of the Father in this parable was always there, and has never stopped. That he always loved both of his sons. It’s an interesting point of difference that in my language the parable is called “the return of the lost son”. The son was lost to the father as long as he didn’t return to him, no matter how or for what reason. I hear in “the prodigal son” something of the son being lost to himself, in need of a saviour.
I pondered then, after this little sidetrack, on the question “who is this Father”? What is his love telling me?
I came to see then that His love is the love that does not exclude any person from it. It’s the love that tells me that my soul is one with the soul of all my fellow human beings. That there is no exception for that. That each and every human being has his or her own moment of return, even so when not during this lifetime.
I think that Henri is writing about this, when he refers to the outer and inner life which we have to bring in harmony with each other. I can only hope that it is the inner voice that may guide me in this process. That I will listen to the voice of my heart to keep on track. Home, the place in myself where it all started.
I can feel the joy of this love when I am together with people from different religions, from different cultures, from different backgrounds. Especially then, when we open up for each other and enjoy being together. It is the love that brings the deep joy of togetherness at a deep level of recognition.
I am convinced that in order to be able to know the love of God, I have to be able to know the love for and with my fellow human beings. I know that it is difficult to open my heart to love a person who did harm to me. But what worth is Love when it makes me unable to hold someone responsible for what he or she did? Or putting it the other way around: real love is the love that can hold someone responsible for what he did, and still love him. This could mean that I open up for his feelings of guilt or shame, but still love him.
That’s how I see the love of the Father.
To Remember just WHO we are…. THE Father’s Beloved Children.
Oh believe me…. This IS a note to myself.
Now, happily, I actually FEEL this with my emotions sometimes….
But, I think the way to stay on that Path to HOME and JOY…It is not always easy…. But then, nothing worthwhile ever really is.
One thing I know for sure, I don’t get to redefine God and just who HE is based on my own emotions…
Papa God says all over the place in HIS word that…
He is a Our Father who LOVES us…..
( Matthew 7: 11 if you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your Children, how MUCH MORE will your FATHER who is in HEAVEN give GOOD things to those who ask Him. )
…… Well, I sure do LOVE my children…. I love them more than my own life.
And since I… A seriously imperfect human can love that much…WHY O why do I have such a hard time (at times) believing that FATHER GOD can OUT love me ???
The First Words Jesus taught us to pray is OUR FATHER…….
and,
It is all over the Bible….
1 John 3 see what love THE FATHER has lavished on us ?
Deuteronomy 14 : You are the children of the Lord your God…
Galations 3:26 so in Christ Jesus you ARE ALL Children of God through faith.
Romans 8 :16 The Spirit HIMSELF testifies with our spirit that we ARE God’s CHILDREN.
This story the Return of the Prodigal, that Jesus Himself told us about OUR FATHER…. That Henri so wonderfully wrote about…It begins with the Love of the Father and ends with the Love of the Father….
Despite the children’s sins…. THE Father’s LOVE Prevailed.
Well, one thing for sure…. When every minute of my life, I do not feel the Joy of being loved by Papa God, I at least must KNOW that …that is a lie from the pits of hell itself…
For Clearly….even when I can’t feel it…. I CAN KNOW it…. By Faith and by the Knowledge of THE VERY WORD of GOD.
Just like I can’t SEE Oxygen or Gravity I KNOW they are there…. Even though I have fallen down…. I still don’t stop believing in gravity…. Even though I take care of children with asthma and breathing problems, I still know that there is Oxygen in the air.
And so….. I KNOW Papa God, FATHER God, ABBA, IS MY FATHER AND I AM HIS CHILD….even though, at times circumstances try to convince me otherwise.
Lenten Lesson Note to Self : God is not a liar, HE says all over the place I AM HIS Child, and so I AM ……even when I don’t feel like it. And with this Knowledge, I can better ACT like it…
And Prayer….. I can talk to Jesus, The Holy Spirit, Papa GOD….and then listen & learn.
I AM loved…. So I can GIVE love.
Twyla, thank you…your wisdom touches my heart! Will need to re-read this several times…but it is gift… to nudge me towards actually reading the ” Father” chapter, not quite sure why I am so procrastinating on this one! Prayers welcomed!
I am consoled by the reminder of the three parables (cited in these chapters) in which the shepherd, the woman, and the father actively seek who or what was lost. The many references in these and other scriptures make it undeniable that God takes an active role in bringing each of us home. Even the old, almost blind father runs toward the prodigal son, actively clasps him, and urges the servant to be “quick” in preparing the celebration. I wish I could always see God that way, and I wish all of my loved ones could know just how much God loves them.
Henri notes that a consumerist world plays to our pitiful desire to raise our low self-esteem by buying products that will make us “better” people. If we hustle, we will win favor in the eyes of the world. However, the consumerist society (and the dark side of capitalistic individualistic America) also plays to the idea that we deserve to indulge ourselves. After all, we have worked hard for our money and we have the right to lavish it all on ourselves or to hoard it. Right? I just read a book called ORDINARY GRACE in which author Kathleen Brehony relates case after case of people who lacked financial means but nevertheless donated huge amounts of money and precious time because they just couldn’t in good conscience turn away from the needs of others. People in dire poverty are not “deadbeats” to them. The people of “ordinary grace” (really “extraordinary” grace, I think) don’t hesitate to reach out to the least of our brethren in the places where they live–in whatever danger and squalor—to show them they are loved. As I read these stories, I thought of the prodigal’s father: all loving, all embracing, nonjudgmental, and generous. People of grace give those they serve the sense that in their soup kitchen, food truck, or tutoring center they have, indeed, found a home.
This week had been an amazing week for me. I was both excited and challenged in a new way.
In my life journey I definitely have experienced the shift from looking to outward success to seeing and celebrating the beauty of the interior.
I had already detailed about this in one of my previous posts. It was that life stopping event of the paralysis and the prolonged hospitalization that facilitated the shift. There is a quiet peace that envelops me most of the times; even the difficult ones when I lose my balance and fall on the ground waiting for someone to help me get up! At times I wonder whether my non-desire (? is this is the correct word?) of success, fame, recognition, travel, excitement is true or am I just resigned because I cannot expect any of these at the moment!
All my life I had been loved by the Father not as I deserve – a sinner who keeps running after non essentials – but as HIS Beloved.Looking back into my life, I cannot understand how lavishly I had been loved; How HE has saved me from sin and shame. I recall so many who did not seem to receive the special treatment -the forgiving love – that I received again and again. If it was not for HIS faithfulness and love I would not be a religious/nun today!
As for daring to be loved as my Father longs to love, I humbly bow my head and say FIAT! I can not fathom this love, what it entails; would it be the way of sacrificial love with which he loved HIS SON: I only pray for the courage, an abundance of love in my heart and whatever else is needed to ‘dare’. As I write this there is that quiet peace within me, and I surrender to whatever and however the FATHER wills.
As I wrote in the beginning up to this point my reading and reflections were exciting.
After this the challenge comes. To accept that the Father loves me beyond compare was easy. But to accept that the FATHER loves all- the revengeful, the oppressor, the resentful, the unforgiving, the ‘parasites’ in the community – is difficult to say the least.
May be the challenge here is to ‘make God smile by giving God the chance to find ‘this’ me and love me lavishly’? I am very confused on this point. I find it difficult to seek the company of whom I consider ‘the revengeful etc’. There is some dichotomy in my behavior with regard to above mentioned persons. In my desire to emulate the love of the Father, I ‘tolerate’ their behavior; I do not criticize or gossip about them. But I don’t find joy in their company. I keep away from them. However I don’t exclude them from extending help. If I see them in need or if they ask for my help, so far I have not refused. My confusion confounds here. Given such behavior am I anywhere near becoming he Father? Is it refusing to living with joy ?
To a great extent I am able to see beauty and God’s joy in day to day living. I see people joyously living midst suffering and material poverty. I feel this is the joy of living in India. Being a religious/nun my needs are few and when you are content finding joy in ordinary things is easy. I live in a small town, in a quiet corner and feel blessed with everything one needs to live happily. I see joy in nature that surrounds me; in the innocent faces of children; in the hope of healing that the suffering people express and in the resilience with which the economically poor pull themselves up after each disaster. Above all my trust in the providence of the Father, who cares about the lilies of the field and the sparrows, makes me open my heart to God’s joy.
Sister, I have been inspired by your beautiful depictions of a loving God, your amazing gratitude for the lessons your illness has provided, and your honesty about your struggles to accept that God loves all–even the “revengeful, the oppressor, the resentful, the unforgiving, the ‘parasites’ in the community.” Surely all of us have that same struggle to understand the expansiveness of God’s mercy and love.
For some reason your latest post reminds me of a somewhat forgettable movie of 1991 (so forgettable that I had to Google the title and actor). In THE DOCTOR William Hurt plays a brilliant doctor who enjoys tremendous financial rewards and status but who lacks empathy for his patients–that is, until he develops cancer himself and begins to walk in the shoes of those he had previously treated with thoughtlessness and even disdain. A life-changing event brought a change of heart and new grace. While I am not suggesting that each of us must experience a serious illness or tragedy to find God, I wonder if those who live within the protective shell of their status, wealth, and power might not be softened by a life-changing encounter with “the other.” I often wonder if the rich young man who turned away so sadly from Jesus just hadn’t had that “otherly” empathic experience yet. What good he could do with his wealth and youthful energy! I pray that he (whoever he is in our society) will find a meaningful opportunity to know that–and change. Thanks again, Sister, for so much food for thought.
Elaine, Thank you for the encouragement.Thanks for sharing about that movie ‘DOCTOR’. I have a couple of relatives who are making life miserable for their wives because of their uncaring, insensitive, ‘macho’ mentality. Nothing seems to change. Please pray for one person who had been oppressive like this for over 27 years in a marriage. He is not very religious. Pray that God’s grace must touch him that he will think of the other with little sensitivity; that his “protective shell of power might be softened by a life-changing encounter with “the other.” Thanks again.
Sister, as always, your posts both touch and inspire me. Your sense of inner peace is so clearly evident, I pray that one day I may be there!
Especially significant to me today as I realize that here we are mid-week and I am still stuck in contemplating the elder son, and how I experience resentment in my life.
It is time for me to move on and contemplate the Father, and what He might desire to teach me about love. Please keep me in your prayers, today has been filled with mid-Lent tensions! God Bless.
Joni, you are such an affirming person. Thank God that I met you in this discussion group.
Sure Joni, I will keep you in my prayer.
Don’t worry about getting stuck with resentment. It is a common struggle. The awareness will liberate. May whatever tensions you are going through at the moment melt way in the merciful and compassionate love of the FATHER. Remember he comes out running to meet, he comes out leaving the celebration to meet. We just need to call on HIM from our heart.
God Bless!
My earthly father died when I was ten years old – I sorely missed him. But then someone shared with me the story of Jesus and as I asked Him to come into my being I felt His arms of love wrapped around me. It was unceasing joy.
But as time went on the path was not easy. We struggled to maintain the family together but time went on and we realized that God was carrying us through in different methods…neighbors that helped, family members that would come along side. God taught us trust and help to live without our dad.
And now as I read Henri’s book I know that I can only be healed by God’s love and care. Coming home to the Father even when He disciplines us, coming home to His love. We need to practice trust and care every day. Our Heavenly Father walks with us through our life and brings joy – we must trust. Even though I love my Lord, and want to go the distance it is hard at times not to complain and to keep rejoicing. With resentment there s no joy. I can only be healed of self if I come home to the Father and practice trust. Choosing gratitude over complaining. Our Heavenly Father holds us close just as the prodigal son’s father wrapped his arms around His son – our Heavenly Father does the same. I ask my Father to help me, to show me the path I need to be on and what He sees in my life.
So this Lenten Season I think of Henri’s “A Cry For Mercy” his excerpt from his writing. “O Lord, this holy season of Lent is passing quickly. I entered into it with fear, but also with great expectations. I hoped for a great breakthrough, a powerful conversion, a real change of heart; I wanted Easter to be a day so full of light that not even a trace of darkness would be left in my soul.
(FOR THIS WRITING I COME AND PRAY LORD MAY IT BE SO, FOR YOU ARE REALLY ALL WE NEED.)
in Heaven, but there were times I wandered
Doris, your thought that “we need to practice trust and care everyday” made me think that we can make a choice everyday as well. In the parable and the painting of the return of the prodigal son we don’t know what happens to the sons beyond the few moments in time. The one thing that seems constant and continuous is the father’s calling to and welcoming of his children. I know this from his calling his son “my beloved” and his son telling us as the father is in him, so we are in him.
But beyond that moment of the younger son kneeling and accepting his father’s love and celebrating that love that day, we don’t know if the younger son continues to accept that love. We don’t know if the elder son accepts his father’s call to enter into his circle of love or if he joins in the celebration of that love.l
So perhaps one of the lessons of this parable and painting for me then is to carry my acceptance of the love God offers beyond this moment and into an everyday practice of trust and acceptance of the Father’s abiding love for me, his child. In that way perhaps I will not become so easily lost at home as the elder son or in a far country as the younger son.
Doris, May our loving Father fill your heart with deep Peace! May He envelop you in His providential love. He knows your struggles; may He fill you with Trust. May He show you ‘the path you need to be on’. You are in my prayer.
1 Seeing my sons cope daily with MD over the years has deepened my faith. I used to be quite busy helping here and there – organizing many different groups/activities but now all my energy is used helping my sons. I also have a “following” lol…many women call me or come to spend time with me & talk about their worries, etc. The cause of the “shift” has been a series of crisis that caused insecurity and so there isn’t any interest in success or worldly things. To emphasize this point I remember a relative that was always caught up in $$ and lots of it. For me it was very boring whereas I was interested in simplicity & beauty & the health of my sons. I value my connectedness with Jesus more than anything else and now witness my sons with these same values. They are full of happiness and joy!
2) Are you ready to dare to be loved as your Father longs to love you? When I see that question I think of Jesus on the cross. Am I ready to be on the cross like Jesus? I’m getting there. I think the Pieta speaks to me in a new way. I’m moving toward accepting to be loved by the Father in a redemptive way as He loved Jesus.
3) A few years ago we were given a plot where we could be buried with my husband’s family. As soon as I stepped on it I was filled with Joy and felt like dancing! For me this was a sign of what’s to come. When my mom passed away I was with her and after saying the rosary and chatting with her she sat up in bed (she was in a coma) and her eyes became very large in amazement at what she saw and I was so happy for her. I held her knowing her spirit was gone. Knowing the instant it left. What a gift. What joy!
4) Friends in L’Arche show me how to live joy. I see Jesus in them when they get very excited & happy over a cup of coffee or perhaps a good supper. I remember one time Mike going in and rolling around on the floor laughing in the chapel holding his Envelope in his hand that contained his pay – $1.00. I told my husband about this. Mike had a lot to teach us. They have shown me how to appreciate the little things in life and I stay close to them knowing they are my way with Jesus and simplicity and discovering beauty in myself and others.
Jo
What an inspirational post this was. Thank you~!!
Bob, you have been in my thoughts and prayers all weekend. Were you able to write the cover letter and send them both?
As I was on my walk tonight I was thinking of how wonderful it is that you have reached the point that you are ready to take the risk and send them.
What a beautiful Lenten blessing, you have reclaimed your “fatherhood.” Whether your son accepts your gift of a repentant heart is up to your son (like the older son in the story). But you have become the loving very human father, apologizing for human mistakes, and asking for forgiveness.
I think our Abba may be dancing for joy over you this day!
Know that I am holding your son in my thoughts and prayers also. Blessings to you and all those you love and who love you too!
Joni,
Thank you for your loving support and direction. Yes I wrote the covering letter and mailed it with original letter today with a prayer for acceptance and healing in our son, and with an inner Peace that the Spirit is in all of this. Thank you for praying for our son. He is a good, decent and brilliant man who marches to the beat of a different drummer. Like I said in my original letter ‘I know some day you (our son) will forgive me in your heart because of the good person you are’. I believe this will happen in God’s time. I know this was the right thing for me to do today. Thank you and all those who prayed and are praying for us. This is probably the best Lent of my life!
Bob
Yey!!!!! 🙂
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, truly present in the Holy Eucharist, we place our trust in you.
I am excited for you to see the blessings you receive from doing this very brave thing 🙂 and no matter the outcome, It was brave & noble.
Bob, you indeed have done the noble thing. Like our compassionate yet wounded FATHER extends his welcome not expecting (forcing?) acceptance of HIS love, you have reached out. I think it is the important thing. God will see to the ‘healing and mending’ in HIS time. I continue to keep your intention and you in my prayer.
Home …there is so much meaning in that one word. For some it can be painful and for others it is a place of solace. And it begins when we are so very young and vulnerable. My home when I was young was painful. But even in that pain there was love. My mother died when I was 2 and that pain was present in our home. We attended church and I went to parochial school. There I found a home among those who shared and celebrated Jesus. The community of believers brought me close to the One who loved me more than anyone…unconditional love, accepted, embraced. I could go to Him when I felt alone, scared and frustrated. For me, now, home is the reality in my heart and mind in meditation, reflection, prayer, even photography and painting where I am received by Him in every way. Home has the characteristics of Jesus ..peace, safety, acceptance and love, a listening ear, rest from struggles, understanding, openness to discovering His voice and leading. To come home means we can rest from the world; the striving, struggles, the constant going and achieving. We can take a break and rejuvenate and soak up and just be…in His presence and loving arms. I don’t always remember this, but I know now after trying my own way or by letting the world and worries take me and consume my spirit that resting in His presence and knowledge daily, I can be at home at any moment. I experienced this shift in a very tangible way when I grieved the loss of my mother about 7 years ago. In that pain, the Father made himself known to me in a deeper way. I did not plan it or construct it. It happened and I found Him in my pain and grief. He comforted, connected and remained with me so closely that I can trust Him more with my life. The reality of His grace given for me and all my sins overwhelms me. Henri’s books were a tremendous solace and comfort and spoke to my heart and concerns, so in his writings I found a home!! Another person who knew what I was feeling and going through. So I hope to live now in that genuine, authentic place so that others may know that God is there in the pain to reveal His unconditional love and the joy of His bountiful grace and mercy.
Elaine, thanks for yesterday’s comment and your interest in hearing more on the Lent: Sweet Thankfulness endeavor.
I am happy to share but do not want to side track or detract from the book discussion here.
I think many of us also read Henri’s Daily Meditations. How about if tomorrow I comment on that site and share the story there? That way anyone who is interested can check it out but we won’t interrupt the flow of the conversations here.
Does that sound like a plan?
“In your own life journey have you experienced the shift from looking to outward to seeing the beauty of the interior?”
This question struck me because YES. About four years ago my 96 year old Mom passed nearly the same time I retired and planned for us to have more time to go places together. At her age of course death was not unexpected, yet it seemed sudden on a peaceful Sunday morning.
These two experiences of her death and my retiring from a full time job have lead me to a different place, I believe. I have noticed my musing are more and more on after-life. I am now the oldest generation. As I told one of my sons, my ticket is the next to be punched. (Afraid he didn’t see any laughter in this–lol!)
Shortly after Mom died, I began art classes for two reasons: 1) Mom had always encouraged me to paint so this was a way I was showing her honor; 2) retired and caring now for my husband, I needed a stress outlet besides my daily prayer routines.
As the years have passed since Mom left, I have noticed more and more my thoughts of her and how I watched her die as I had Dad 30+ years before. Thirty years ago I was in the midst of raising a family, holding a job to help support the family–busy in other words–no real time for reflections.
Now I am less busy and think of how my parents both just slipped into an unknown place away from me. Mom asked Dad, “Are you going to be alright?” His reply and his last words were, “I don’t know, Sweetie.” Kind, gentle words.
Memory of Mom’s last words were when she knew she was ill and wanted me, my dogs interfered her walking to me. I was very agitated knowing her was seriously ill. Mom said to me, “Honey, don’t worry. It’ll be alright,” as I was pushing the barking dogs aside from us to assist her to a chair. Again, loving and kind words were spoken.
I began to wonder with Mom’s death just how it felt to slip into eternity. My shift slowly has come to see myself sooner than later to be with all my loved ones. I feel seeing Mom and Dad die so easily, it will be that way for me. I almost feel an envy towards them, yet I know I have work here to complete (like caring for a husband.)
When my dad died with my entire family surrounding him, I saw how easy death comes. It was only more recently with Mom’s death that I began to consider mine. With Mom’s death also I have grown deeper into the beauty of life which I express through painting to honor her. Mom always showed beauty in flowers gardens and this has flowed to my generation and the next. But by now taking time to do art work –mainly portraits– I think more about the depth of beauty in each of us, old faces and very young ones, I see a story.
As the book shows us, there is beauty where the “weeds” also grow. The gardening I do pulling weeds so flowers show, is never ending. Each of us is similar. I see where I was once and where I am now. Yet, I am still filled with weeds!