Welcome to Nouwen Book Discussions

Warm greetings to all and deep gratitude to Brynn and all who read, shared and journeyed with us over Lent. We received a number of requests to host a reflection group during the spring/summer so we are happy to announce that Brynn will be leading a discussion on The Wounded Healer from May 30th to July 8th. Please join us in any way that is possible for you.

A little about Henri Nouwen’s The Wounded Healer:

Henri offers a radically fresh interpretation of how we can best serve others - a balanced and creative theology of service that begins with the realization of the fundamental woundedness in all of us. Henri encourages us to identify the suffering in our own hearts and make that recognition the starting point of our service. In our own woundedness, we can become a source of life for others.

When we are not afraid to journey into our own center, and to concentrate on the stirrings of our own souls, we come to know that being alive means being loved. This experience tells us that we can only love because we are born out of love, that we can only give because our life is a gift, and that we can only make others free because we are set free by the One whose heart is greater than our own.

And when we have finally found the anchor place for our lives within our own center we can be free to let others enter into the space created for them, and allow them to dance their own dance, sing their own song, and speak their own language without fear. Then our presence is no longer threatening and demanding, but inviting and liberating.
- Henri J.M. Nouwen, The Wounded Healer

If you would like to purchase a copy of The Wounded Healer, please go to: http://astore.amazon.com/hennousocusab-20

Reading: Compassion: Conclusion and Epilogue

We have journeyed together through a very rich Lenten season and have arrived at the last week of Lent. As we walk through this Holy week we have the opportunity to reflect on all that we’ve received through this book on compassion.

Holy Week truly is the best possible time to sit with all we’ve learned. Through Christ’s Passion we have a true example of the “suffering with” and for others, as an act of pure obedience to God the Father. Throughout the years leading up to the first Holy Week we see Christ’s intentionality in building and participating in community. He also shows us what displacement means, as he continually resists the temptations of power, success and popularity, “in order to remain faithful to his divine call.” His extreme patience is always evident, as are the disciplines of prayer and action which facilitate this patience. Finally, we see how he empties himself on the cross, and invites the disciples to rise up and bear the fruit of the gospel in the world.

Christ’s example, although not an easy one, is clearly one for us to emulate. In the epilogue the authors share with us a modern day example of someone who did just that. Dr. Filártiga lived a life of obedience and deep compassion that ended up costing him much. His story is both deeply painful and deeply inspiring at the same time. Of course, his story is not ours, and we must always remember that obedience is an essential element to a truly compassionate life.

1) Although many of you have humbly and bravely done so already, I’d like to suggest we take this week to try to articulate how each of us plans to put all that we’ve learned into some practical steps in our lives. Remember, from the smallest step to the most radical, obedience is the key.

a) This may be preparatory steps, such as spending time listening to the voice of God and discerning his call
b) It may mean developing the characteristics of a compassionate life, such as immersing yourself in community, practicing voluntary displacement or more intentionally calling forth the gifts in others.
c) Perhaps it is a radical step of obedience to something God has been showing your heart for many years.
d) Finally, and perhaps most difficult of all, it may mean consciously making changes in the way you engage family, co-workers and friends on a day to day basis.

Of course, as always, the floor is open to whatever you feel is important to share. I look forward to this final week of reflections, as well as hearing what God brings to each of you this Holy Week.

Brynn

Prayer and Action - two essential, and commonly discussed elements in the Christian walk. Yet, once again we are challenged to think about the compassionate life in a new way as we explore how we truly apply the disciplines of prayer and action. Please feel free to share whatever came up for you, and/or reflect on some of the questions below.

1) The authors present to us a new way to understand and practice a life of prayer. Surely, at least in practice, most of us consider prayer to be an active outreach to God. A petitioning of God, or a communicating with him. But the authors explain that “Prayer, as a discipline that strengthens and deepens discipleship, is the effort to remove everything that might prevent the Spirit of God, given to us by Jesus Christ, from speaking freely to us and in us” (p102).
a) Could you take a moment to imagine what that might look like in practice? How can we go about removing the many things that so easily distract us, and create space for the Spirit of God to speak?
b) Do you have any specific habits that have helped you create space for the work of the Holy Spirit in your life?

2) To go even deeper, the authors suggest that as we remove the clutter that prevents the Spirit of God in our lives, we not only create a space in which we can hear him speak, but we actually create the opportunity for him to “do re-creating work in us” (p104). Wow!
a) Can you share a testimony in which your times of prayer created space for the Holy Spirit to change you, as opposed to an external situation?
b) Do you believe that God can change the parts of you that we normally consider “personality” or “human nature,” if we give Him the opportunity?

3) As we reflect on the questions above we can begin to understand how this type of prayer brings us closer to the heart of God.
a) How is that this type of prayer “brings us closer to our brothers and sisters?”
b) Have you had this experience of growing in compassion for others, perhaps even an enemy, through prayer?

4) Of course, prayer must be accompanied by action in order to bear the fruit of a compassionate life. “Action as a discipline of compassion requires the willingness to respond to the very concrete needs of the moment” (p15).
a) How is it the discipline of prayer prepares us for the effective discipline of action?
b) What must we do to keep our own motives in check while we reach out to confront things that need to change?

This book continues to be incredibly rich, and each of your comments add so much depth and wisdom to this study. This week we enter into the third part of the book where we explore the role of discipline in facilitating a compassionate life. Here we explore patience, and next week we will look at two practical disciplines that can facilitate the growth of patience in our life.

1)The concept of patience is explored with an intense beauty and richness in the text. It is something, I imagine, we each long to have, but must really consider how we can grow in and towards it. The authors suggest that patience “involves staying with it, living it through, listening carefully to what presents itself to us here and now” (p91). I’m sure all of of us, in some way, long to live more truly and deeply in the here and now. I’d like to hear from each of you a little more about what that means, and how we might grow in true patience. A few questions that might help get us started:

a) Do you see the grip of clock time on your life? Have you ever contemplated that there might be another way to live and approach time?
b) Can you share an example of when clock time led you to make a decision that was efficient, but not compassionate? How could you approach that same situation differently?

c) Stop for a moment and see if you can remember a time when you truly lived in patience. “These patient moments can differ greatly from one another…” but usually it is a moment when it “seemed that time came to a standstill; everything came together and simply was” (p96).

d) Have you known someone with this type of deep patience? What was/is it like to be in their presence? How did/does it make you feel to be with them?
e) What are some practical habits we can form in order to strengthen this discipline of patience in our hearts and in our lives?
f) Can you imagine what it looks like to live in the fullness of time and invite others to share in it?

Reading: chapter 5 (Displacement) and Chapter 6 (Togetherness)

We continue to walk deeper into an understanding of a compassionate life. This week we learn how the act of voluntary, obedient, displacement is a key aspect in facilitating a compassionate life. We also see how this voluntary displacement can bring the Christian community together, with each person fulfilling the task that God invites them to. Both of these actions allow communities to make God’s compassion visible in the concreteness of everyday living. As always we are most interested in hearing whatever came up for you.

Q1) As we begin by looking at displacement, we must truly take our time to understand what this means and does not mean for our lives. Please summarize what you’ve understood from this chapter on displacement. You might consider:
a) What does it means to voluntarily displace oneself from the ordinary and proper?
b) What specific habits can we begin to form in our lives that will allow us to hear the “smaller calls hidden in the hours of a regular day” (p72)?

Q2) Many of you, whether or not you articulated it as such, have obeyed God’s call and displaced yourself from the ordinary and proper.
a) Can you describe that experience for us?
b) How did you know and confirm that God was calling you to this act of displacement?
c) Did you find this displacement led to a strong sense of togetherness in a compassionate community? What did that look like?
d) How did the experience of displacement allow you to more effectively serve others with compassion?

Q3) In Chapter 6 the authors go into more detail about how we can be unified in the body of Christ, although we may be called to many different places, roles or jobs.
a)Can you describe someone you know who drew no special interest or attention from the world or the church, but whose life of consistent, obedient service was obviously lived effectively with compassion?
b) Do you feel that you have discovered your vocation? How did you come to this discovery, and what were the biggest challenges along the way?
c) To build on an earlier question, how can we continually find our identity in Christ such that we can be confident in fulfilling the role He has set out for us, even if it is hardly acknowledged by others around us?

Q4) In the last few sections of chapter 6 we are reminded of the importance of always thinking of, and calling forth the hidden gifts in each other. To truly apply this principle could radically change our experience of community life.
a) Have you had the experience of someone consistently drawing forth your hidden gifts? What was the effect on your life?
b) Have you been given the privilege of calling forth the hidden gifts of others? How does one go about such an amazing task?

Reading: Chapter 4 (Community)

It seems at every turn in this book there is something very rich to reflect on and apply to our heart and lives - this chapter is no different! Whereas Part One of the book reveals to us Christ as the example of compassion, here we learn more about how we can follow Christ’s example and live out compassionate lives. I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts!

1) The authors suggest that the New Testament example of a compassionate life is a life lived together. That “compassion always reveals itself in community, in a new way of being together” (p49).
a) Does this come as a surprise to you?
b) Community can be formed in many different shapes, sizes, and forms. Try to think of examples in your life, past or present, when you were a part of a strong, healthy community of believers. What were the important characteristics of this healty community?
c) Without going into too many details - have you been disillusioned by community life? Do you find yourself retreating from the commitments of community?
d) Have you learned some concise signs of an unhealthy community, and when should we be careful?

2) As we read through the section on Community as Mediator we explore the heart of this chapter.
In the context of community we are able to offer compassion to a hurting society in the healthiest way possible. In order to help us learn more about community, please consider offering real-life examples from your own experience, or reflections based upon what you imagine to be ideal in community.
b) How does being in community help us to offer solidarity to others in ways you could never do on your own?
c) What does servanthood look like in community, and what inspires it?
d) How does being in community help us to obey God in ways we never could do on our own?

3) Arriving at the end of this chapter, you may be feeling rather low. Perhaps you don’t feel you have any community around you, and you don’t know how to start, or if you even want to.
a) Just take some time to look around your life and see if you note any sense of community occurring. Be creative! Community might look different than you first imagine.
b) If you have questions about community, why not ask fellow participants? There are a lot of potential resources here with us
c) Don’t give up! I’ve read enough of Henri’s personal letters to know that there were times in his life when he felt a distinct lack of community. He would reach out to gather people together, and it didn’t always work. There were times when he felt hurt/saddened by the lack of response from others. But he didn’t give up, and God eventually brought him to a community in which he had the “deep sense of being gathered by God” (p59). Feel free to articulate your own hopes for seeing community develop in your life.

Reading: Part One, Chapters 1-3

Last week was full of great introductions. It is wonderful to know we have such a diverse group of participants, and to see the warmth and honesty of your hearts. This week we have quite a lot to take in! Three very full chapters. As always, feel free to share whatever stood out to you. Otherwise, I offer these reflection questions to get us going.

1) Chapter One starts us off by giving us a foundation for the concept of compassion. The authors explain that at the very core of compassion must be the commitment to “be-with” another. We cannot truly be compassionate if we choose not to be with another in their pain.
a) Can you share a story of a time when someone was dedicated to being with you through an immensely difficult time, even though they had no practical help to offer? Or vice versa? What was the effect on your life?

2) Chapter Two becomes a little more intense. “Here we see what compassion means. It is not a bending toward the underprivileged from a privileged position; it is not a reaching out from on high to those who are less fortunate below; it is not a gesture of sympathy or pity for those who fail to make it in the upward pull. On the contrary, compassion means going directly to those people and places where suffering is most acute and building a home there” (p25). This is a very difficult statement to process and apply!
a) What does this statement mean to you, how does it apply to your daily life?
b) Have you or someone you know of made a home among suffering people? What happened in your/their life?
c) How does one practically live out the belief that our primary purpose in being compassionate is not to fix problems, or accomplish good things, but to “reveal the gentle presence of our compassionate God in the midst of our broken world” (p30).

3) Perhaps it is not the suffering that scares you most, but the fear of losing your distinction, status, your created identity.
a) Do you find yourself living by the belief that you must set yourself apart from others in order to be valued, loved, worthy and have an identity? Do you find competition in the “smallest corners of your relationship?” (p17) What effect does this have on your life?
b) Has your created identity ever crumbed? What happened in your life?
c) How do we find a healthy identity, in which we truly know ourselves, are free to be ourselves, and are free to surrender ourselves to our God? Where does our true identity come from?

4) Chapter Two seemed rather unsettling, but somehow Chapter 3 brings understanding to how it is possible for us, as human beings, to live this kind of compassion. Here we learn the importance of obedience. Jesus was not remarkable because of his miracles, nor was he effective because of his suffering, or how many people he helped. His life was truly compassionate, and therefore fruitful, because it was a life lived in obedience to the Father.
a) What response did the word “obedience” previously evoke in you?
b) How do you understand the word “obedience” now, after reading this chapter?

5) The authors suggest many of us are “poor listeners because we are afraid that there is something other than love in God” (p38). We fear what He might ask of us, if we fully submit to Him and listen to His voice.
a) How can we process out and overcome any fears we have which hold us back from fully obeying God? (I invite you to go the the Holy Scriptures and share with us what you find).
b) Have you walked through an experience in which you overcame fears in order to obey God? How did it turn out? Did you experience unexpected joy/strength/gratitude?

There are many questions here, and many thought paths to follow. The great thing is we have such a diverse collection of wisdom to draw from! Don’t feel like you have to try to answer all these questions - but you are welcome to share as much as you like.

Brynn

A very warm welcome to all who are joining together this Lent to study Compassion by Henri Nouwen, Donald P. McNeill and Douglas A. Morrison. I too always find these online discussions to be a great source of encouragement, and inspiration. No doubt this Lent will be equally rich, as the text of Compassion provides us with some very challenging reflections to discuss, and I can already tell we have a great group forming.

Altogether we will have seven weeks, including this short introductory week. For those who are new, you’ll find that each week we open a new “post” on Mondays. To see a the newest post, return to the discussion home page (click on the words “Welcome to Nouwen Book Discussions” at the top of any page, in order to return to the home page). On the discussion home page you will note the titles in large, bolded text. This note you are reading is an example of a post, as was the previous title “Your Lenten Journey Starts here.”

The posts will primarily consists of questions to help get our reflections and sharing started. Once you enter the post (by either clicking on “comments” or on the title of the post), you have the opportunity to add your own comment. A very important thing to remember is that each Monday we begin a new “post” - please add any new comments to the newest post, so that we can be sure nobody misses them. Finally, you’ll find the reading schedule on the discussion home page, at the top right hand corner under “Pages.”

Well, let’s get started then!

This week’s reading: Preface and Introduction

1) The primary purpose of these few days is to introduce ourselves to each other, and get a sense of who makes up our group. Please share something about yourself. You might include,
a) General geographic location
b) How you invest your time each day
c) How you have come to be a part of this group.

2) These next few days will also be a very important time of preparing ourselves for what we will read in the next few weeks. We will be asked to consider what a commitment to Christ looks like in our lives. It is a “call that goes right against the grain; that turns us completely around and requires a total conversion of heart and mind” (p8). Wow! In order for the readings to be effective in our lives, let’s begin by taking some time to consider the following:
a) How do you currently understand the word “compassion”? How is it enacted?
b) Does the word “compassion” evoke a certain feeling, emotion or memory?
c) Do you consider it a natural human response, or something that must be consciously decided?
d) Do you consider it to be an all pervasive element of the Christian life, or perhaps just one aspect of it?

As with all the reflection questions I offer, you are free to answer as many or as few of the questions as you like. You may also decide to ignore my questions, and share what came up for you in the readings - there is nothing wrong with that. This is truly an amazing book and I’m looking forward to getting started!

Sincerely,

Brynn

Please join us in a reflection on Compassion by Henri Nouwen, Donald McNeill and Douglas Morrison. We are pleased to welcome back Brynn Phillips Lawrence who will guide us in an exploration of this essay on the least understood virtue of compassion. The authors challenge themselves and us with the following questions: Where do we place compassion in our lives? Is it enough to live a life in which we hurt one another as little as possible? Is our guiding ideal a life of maximum pleasure and miniumum pain? Compassion answers no.

Compassion is a book that says no to a compassion of guilt and failure and yes to a compassionate love that pervades our spirit and moves us to action.

On February 22nd begin your Lenten journey with this community of seekers. Brynn is looking forward to hearing from old friends and new! She will be posting a discussion schedule soon and an invitation to introduce yourself. Click here to purchase your copy of Compassion.

Reading: Conclusion - Signs of Life

This has been a remarkable group! Thank you sincerely to each of you for offering and sharing of yourselves. Fortunately, we have one more week to bring things together - to try to solidify in our minds and hearts what we have learned here.

1) Henri does a great job in his conclusion of turning our eyes upon Jesus. The world is full reasons to live in the house of fear - no question. But “it is the presence of Jesus among us, real and concrete, that gives us hope” (p109). As 1 John 4:4 says, “You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”
a) You are invited to read Matthew 8: 23-27, and write down all the reasons you have to be fearful. The ways you are saying to Jesus, “Yes, Yes… but look!”
b) Now you are invited to read John chapters 16 and 17 and write down all the reasons you have to live in the house of love. The ways Jesus is saying to you, “Yes, yes… but look!”

2) Drawing from the exercise above, a review of the book, and a review of the comments posted throughout this discussion…
a) Please share with us a summary of what you want to take with you, and apply to your life this coming year. Ideally, make it something tangible. Write it down and stick it on your bathroom mirror… and share it with us as well.

3) As we prepare ourselves for Christmas Day, and if you are keeping your eyes open, I believe you will find you are blessed by an intimate relationship, a demonstration of fecundity, and/or an experience of ecstasy.
a) Please share with us anything that comes to you this week that demonstrates what we’ve learned about intimacy, fecundity, and ecstasy in the Christian life.