Reading & Discussing Henri Nouwen

Reading: Becoming the Beloved, III. Broken, IV. Given (p. 85 to 125)

There is a mysterious link between our brokenness and our ability to give to
each other. . . . Our brokenness opened us to a deeper way of sharing
our lives and offering each other hope. Just as bread needs to
be broken in order to be given, so, too, do our lives. (p. 110)

Thanks to all for another incredible week of sharing! So many thoughtful, insightful, and touching reflections. It is a great blessing to be sharing this Advent journey with each of you. We have another fruitful week ahead so let’s get started.

What does it mean to live as the Beloved? This week we read, “Our greatest fulfillment lies in giving ourselves to others. . . beyond all our desires to be appreciated, rewarded, and acknowledged, there lies a simple and pure desire to give.” (p. 106) Henri is describing what Bishop Robert Barron calls, citing St. Pope John Paul II, the spiritual law of the gift. “Giving your your life away for love increases life within you. You partake in the flow of the divine life. Hence, happiness is found in loving acts.” And how does that happen? Last week we were learned we are taken (or chosen) and blessed. This week, Henri will help us to understand that as God’s Beloved, we are broken so that our life may given as a gift for others. As a result, “The fruitfulness of our little life, once we recognize it and live it as the life of the Beloved is beyond anything we ourselves can imagine.” (p. 122-3)

I found these two chapters to be particularly challenging with many ideas worth exploring. Here are several examples. After saying “. . . the suffering of which I am most aware on a day-to-days basis is the suffering of the human heart,” (p. 89) Henri offers a deeply personal insight into his own interpersonal addiction that led to his long depression. Later on, after telling us about how the spirit of St. Francis of Assisi (died 1226) is still alive today, Henri says, “death can, indeed, be chosen as our final gift of life” and he encourages us to make it so. You are invited to share and reflect on any ideas that touched your heart in our reading this week. As always, here are a few excerpts and questions you might consider. Please share to the extent you are comfortable.

1. In the Western world, the suffering that seems to be the most painful is that of feeling rejected, ignored, despised, and left alone. (p. 89) Do you agree with Henri? Have you had this experience yourself? How did you handle it? What did you learn?
2. The great secret of the spiritual life, the life of the Beloved Sons and Daughters of God, is that everything we live, be it gladness or sadness, joy or pain, health or illness, can all be part of the journey toward the full realization of our humanity. (p. 96) Henri goes on to say that “. . . real care means the willingness to help each other in making our brokenness into the gateway to joy.” How have you helped someone on their journey? How were you helped on your journey? In both cases, how did this make you feel?
3. (T)here is a mysterious link between our brokenness and our ability to give to each other. . . . Our brokenness opened us to a deeper way of sharing our lives and offering each other hope. (p. 109-110) Have you experienced this in your life or seen it in the lives of others? How did the brokenness lead to deeper sharing?
4. We tend to forget that our real gift is not so much what we can do, but who we are. The real question is not “What can we offer each other?” but “Who can we be for each other?” (p. 113) How are you living this truth today? What changes might you consider in how you live your life as a gift?

Thanks again to everyone joining us in this Advent community, those posting and those following along in silence. We’re blessed by your presence and we look forward to another week together. Be safe and be well.

Peace and all good.
Ray

Reading: Becoming the Beloved, Enfleshing the Truth, I. Taken, II. Blessed (p. 43 to 83)

From the moment we claim the truth of being the Beloved, we are faced
with the call to become who we are. Becoming the Beloved is the
great spiritual journey we have to make. (p 43)

What a remarkable and wonderful first week of Advent! So many thoughtful and enriching comments! And the sharing of ideas and encouragement among participants is especially rewarding. We’re deeply grateful to each of you for joining us on this journey.

On page 44-45 Henri writes, “. . . we not only are the Beloved, but also have to become the Beloved; . . . If the spiritual life is not simply a way of being, but also a way of becoming, what then is the nature of this becoming?” We will be considering this core question for the next two weeks. Henri will use four words that he says summarize his life as a priest and as a Christian—taken (or chosen), blessed, broken, and given—to explore our becoming the Beloved.

Before moving on to our discussion for this week, here are two YouTube videos that were meaningful to me as we ponder Life of the Beloved. The first is the song You Say by Lauren Daigle (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBMHoFICOZA) that Grant Rickard mentioned last week. Grant said he turns to it in times of doubt or self rejection because it helps him to remember that he is the Beloved. And in this clip from The Lion King (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGQnGQzlAmA), Simba is told to remember who he is as he embarks on a journey to become what he is called to be—the Beloved child of his Father. Isn’t that our life journey too? You are invited to share your thoughts and comments on how these videos may be related to our being and becoming the Beloved.

Now let’s turn to this week’s reading. Once again, there is a wealth of wisdom to contemplate in these chapters about accepting our belovedness and becoming the Beloved. You are invited to share your thoughts and reactions to the reading. You may choose to reply to one or more of these questions or to share your reflections and whatever is on your heart.

1. From all eternity, long before you were born and became a part of history, you existed in God’s heart. . . . you were already “chosen.” (p. 53-54). In the Letter to the Ephesians we read, “God chose us before the world began. . . He predestined us to be his adopted (children) though Jesus Christ, such was his will and pleasure.” (Ephesians 1: 4-5). What does it mean to you to be chosen by God and what is your response? Why is being chosen the first step to becoming the Beloved?
2. (W)e have to dare to reclaim the truth that we are God’s chosen ones, even when our world does not choose us. (p. 57) Henri offers three guidelines in this struggle: (a) keep unmasking the world about you for what it is (p. 59); (b) keep looking for people and places where your truth (as the chosen one) is spoken; and (c) celebrate your chosenness constantly (through gratitude) (p. 60). What have you done to claim your your chosenness? How did you respond when confronted with difficulties or the voices in the world?
3. To give a blessing is to affirm, to say “yes” to a person’s Belovedness. And more than that: To give a blessing creates the reality of which it speaks. A blessing touches the original goodness of the other and calls forth his or her Belovedness. (p. 69) When have you given or received a blessing? How did that make you feel?
4. The feeling of being blessed is not, it seems to me, the feeling that we generally have about ourselves. (p. 73) Henri provides two suggestions for claiming our belovedness: prayer and presence or “attentiveness to the blessings that come to you day after day.” Try this exercise. Be intentional about following Henri’s two suggestions for the next three to four days. Then share your experience with the group to the extent you are comfortable.

We have another spirit-filled and fruitful week ahead. We are all God’s Beloved and we have the opportunity to grow spiritually and to support each other on our journey. Thanks for being here and we look forward to hearing from many of you.

I’m blessed to be walking with you through Advent.
Ray

Reading: Prologue: A Friendship Begins & Being the Beloved (p. 11 to 39)

In the terrain of the spiritual life, we need guides. . . .
I would like to be your guide. I hope you are
still interested in walking along. (p. 39)

A warm welcome to everyone and special thanks to the many people that introduced themselves. Thus far our virtual global community includes participants from across the USA and Canada, Ecuador, Australia, Singapore, Malaysia, the Philippines, Egypt, and the UK. We’ve gathered to journey together through what promises to be a blessed and fruitful time of preparation for the coming of the Lord at Christmas. This Advent we will be enlightened and enriched as Henri Nouwen guides his friend Fred Bratman – and us – to the realization that “the words ‘You are my Beloved’ revealed the most intimate truth about all human beings.” (p. 30)

In the Prologue, we learn how Henri and Fred met and we watch their friendship develop. It was about 1990 when Henri was living at Daybreak that Fred encouraged him to write something for “us young, ambitious, secular men and women wondering what life is all about after all.” (p. 21) In Being the Beloved, Henri gives us the word “Beloved” and he contrasts the voice that “speaks from above” with the negative voices of the modern secular world. He challenges us to make a choice and to claim the experience of being the Beloved as our core truth rather than seeking our self-worth through worldly success, popularity, or power.

Even at the outset of our journey, there is much to discuss. Here are a few questions that may help get the discussion going, but please don’t feel bound to them. You may also share insights you gained from the reading, something from your personal experience, or feedback prompted by the comments of others.

1. I believe that people can make choices and make them according to their own best aspirations. I also believe that people seldom make these choices. . . . and waste much of their life complaining. (p. 16) What is your reaction to Henri’s statement? Looking back on the choices in your life, which ones did you make with your best aspirations? How did you feel about them? How did you feel if you didn’t make such a choice?
2. (Fred) felt strongly that his own experience and that of his friends required another tone, another language, another spiritual wavelength. (p. 20) This was written nearly 30 years ago. Has the situation changed for the better or worse in recent years? What ways have you used or are you aware of to reach out spiritually to those in the secular world like Fred, that today we might call the “Nones.” Are there others we need to reach?
3. Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the “Beloved.” Being the Beloved expresses the core truth of our existence. (p. 33) What do you think about Henri’s description of self-rejection and arrogance and their relationship to our belovedness? Is this contradiction something you experience in your own life and how do you respond?
4. We are the Beloved. We are intimately loved long before our parents, teachers, spouses, children and friends loved us or wounded us. That is the truth of our lives. (p. 36) Do you believe and live this truth? Why or why not? What will it take to make you believe it?

The thoughts and insights shared by the participants provides the heartbeat for every Henri Nouwen book discussion and we look forward to hearing from many you. However, we also know that some participants choose to read and journey with us without commenting. We’re just glad you’re here whether you comment or not.

May the Lord give you peace during this first week in Advent.
Ray