Reading: Prologue and Introduction (p 11 to p 23)
Thanks to each of you for joining the vibrant group of seekers forming this spirit-filled community. At the outset, I want to thank each of you for making this, as was noted in a comment last week: “…a safe space of open mindedness and support. What a refreshing change of pace from the snarkiness of so much of the outside world.” It is great blessing for me to be able to share his experience with each of you.
We have had a wonderful start to our Lenten journey with your warm introductions and heartfelt sharing. It is a great joy to reconnect with previous participants and to welcome many others joining us for the first time. Everyone is welcome and valued here; we are all blessed simply by your presence—whether you actively post comments or follow our discussion silently.
We learn in the prologue that this book is largely based on a talk Henri Nouwen gave in Washington, DC shortly after becoming the pastor at L’Arche Daybreak, a community for the mentally handicapped, having resigned his position teaching future ministers at the Harvard Divinity School. We also learn that he did not travel by himself, something we will return to in several weeks. In our reading this week Henri reflects on his decision to move to L’Arche and how that changed his perspective on and approach to ministry. The issues that Henri confronted in his own life and ministry are those facing ministers today–and we are all ministers in our own way to the people in our lives.
The following questions are meant to prompt your thinking and to get the discussion flowing but, as always, you should not feel limited by them. Please feel free to respond to one or more of these questions or whatever comes up for you in the reading.
- In preparing his 1986 talk Henri looks back 30 years and reflects that, “…nobody in the 1950s could have foreseen the situation of most priests today…” (p 12)
As we look back 30 years to when Henri gave this talk, what challenges are you as a person and a minister confronting as a result of the relentless change since that time and how are you addressing them? - Henri writes, “God is a God of the present and reveals to those willing to listen carefully to the moment in which they live the steps they are to take to the future.” (p 13)
In our rapid-paced world, how do you experience the “God of the present” and what steps do you take to “listen carefully to the moment”? How do you respond? - In introducing us to Bill Van Buren, his friend and fellow minister of the Gospel, Henri writes: “…he felt deeply touched by Jesus and knew what it meant to be reborn by water and the Holy Spirit.” (p 16) Henri asks,”Did becoming older bring me closer to Jesus?” and he realized “…my success was putting my own soul in danger.” (p 20)
Reflect on your spiritual journey. What is your experience of the presence of Jesus and the Holy Spirit? Are you growing closer to Jesus as you age? Has the worldly call of “success” challenged you on your journey? Share to the extent you are comfortable. - Henri tells of how God answered his prayer for “clear and unambiguous” direction writing, “In the person of Jean Vanier… God said, ‘Go and live among the poor in spirit and they will heal you.‘”
How have you heard from God or experienced his presence in your life? Have you prayed for and received God’s “clear and unambiguous” guidance? What was the result? If you are willing, share your reflection.
We’re at the beginning of our Lenten journey together and we look forward to the always meaningful thoughts and insights of those commenting and to the continued participation of those following along silently.
With gratitude for sharing our Lenten journey.
Ray
As I go deeper into meeting Christ, I become more thirsty, and sometimes scared. Learning to trust fully God has been a challenge for me. Listening with the heart is difficult. However, I am addressing these challenges with prayer, and action. Using the sacraments of the Eucharist and confession has helped me too.
How do I listen carefully to the moment? How do I respond? Well, by becoming aware of being alive. Asking Him to help me being in His presence. Sometimes only by looking at the faces of those who cross my path I experience Christ. He also speaks to me through his word in the bible.
I have never asked God for a clear and unambiguous guidance. I tend to put things in His hands, and ask Him for illumination.
As I age, my relationship with Jesus is more intimate.
Friends,
I want to thank each of you for opening your hearts and allowing the light within to shine forth for us all. I’m overwhelmed by the depth of your sharing, the compassion for each other, and the power of the Holy Spirit working among this online community. It is a great blessing to journey with you this Lent.
May the Lord give you peace. (The greeting of St. Francis of Assisi to those he met.)
Ray
“What decisions have you been making lately and how are they a reflection of the way you sense the future?” Recently I was invited to attend a conference on meditation in June this year in London , England. I have never been to England, nor ever imagined I would get the opportunity to visit there. I made the decision to accept the invitation.
The reason I got invited in the first place is because three years ago I accepted an invitation extended to teachers at a Catholic school to attend a conference on meditation in schools. It was my first experience of meditation and the most profound realization I had after this first session was the outrageous level of my distractions. From this time on I began practicing meditation daily.
I became a teacher at the Catholic school after leaving a job in the corporate world which I found to be literally “sucking the life out of me”. I made this career change after my mother’s death in 1987. I had experienced a deep desire to “return to church” which led to a desire for a deeper experience of God. I did a Life in the Spirit Seminar where I experienced being “deeply touched by Jesus and knew what it meant to be reborn by water and the Holy Spirit”. My journey since then has not been easy as I have experienced my highs and lows along the way, but I realize God has been with me even when I didn’t “feel His presence”.
I found this reflection extremely difficult to do, but very rewarding, especially having read the comments of others. I cannot say that I have received “clear and unambiguous” guidance, but this reflection has made me realize, how profoundly God speaks to me through my deepest desires. As I face the future my challenge is to surrender my fears and anxieties to God. I thank God for this book discussion and God’s abundant blessings to all of you.
Having attended an IF Gathering of women in my church last night, I came home to my husband who suffers from 2 auto immune diseases and interstitial lung disease. He shared with me a memory gap he experienced earlier in the day that has really upset him. As par for the course, I immediately thought of possible solutions and tried to encourage him not to be so upset. But having spent most of the night with the whisperings of the Holy Spirit, I re-read this week’s assignment, and know that I must just listen carefully to the moment, to the God of the present. I have no solutions — I must listen to God’s solutions and what He is saying for our future together as a family. He is enough.
I am touched by your sharing. Thank you.
“Staying as close to my own heart as possible” p. 19…..and I might add, staying as close to God’s heart as possible, leads me to pray, Lord, shape something anew in my heart for You….my heart was touched by Nouwen/Bill Van Buren….I have a special-needs grandson, Henry….in 1973, I chose to serve in voluntary service at a hospital/home for severely retarded and handicapped children…..Lord, shape something anew in my heart for You…..I lost a dear friend this week who was on a life-long search for someone worthy of her trust….because of her authentic seeking/finding, I pray, Lord, shape something anew in my heart for You today as I enter into remembering her, along with others today. Both, Henry and my dear friend, touch my heart in lasting, loving ways…living this moment, listening, watching, praying, grateful that God/Jesus can be totally trusted and is trustworthy………
Responding to Clarence and Christine – I understand and share your sorrow, as I, too, have lost a son when he was 21 due to genetic kidney problems. As much as we experienced the dark night of the soul, we were most grateful to have the compassion, love and support of our faith community – Roman Catholic Church. I am reminded of Henri’s words – “we often find that the person closest to us is not the one that offers advice, solutions or cures, but rather, those who feel our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.” Henri Nouwen
Janet
Today when I was leading a contemplative prayer time for a small group, I started our meditation with a quotation from Henri’s Prologue “ The more willing I was to look honestly at what I was thinking and saying and doing now, the more easily I would come into touch with the movement of God’s Spirit in me, leading me to the future. God is a God of the present and reveals to those who are willing to listen carefully to the moment in which they live the steps they are to take in the future.”
This quote from Henri dovetails with an Ignatian examen that I’ve been practicing nightly for the past few months. I’ve been using Mark E. Thibodeaux’s book, Reimagining the Ignatian Examen, and am so thankful for this fresh way to pray the examen.
God often speaks the same message to me from different directions. What Henri wrote 30 years ago is reinforcing my recent practice of praying the examen with Thibodeaux’s book published in 2015.
Be Still and know that I am here…listen carefully to the moment…. .I pray for discernment…. .a constant prayer on the journey. What a blessing to hear how God is speaking to all of you and through you to me.
My journey with God has been of two steps forward, one step back! As I am over 70 years of age, I have tried to become closer to following God’s will; but, I have to admit it isn’t easy for me to figure out precisely what that is. However, occasionally I do receive a hint or two. The best prompting I received from God was a call from my parish to bring Holy Communion to a person in a nursing home. It was an incredibly spiritual experience for me. Next, I was asked to bring Holy Communion to a homebound person. We have become good spiritual friends. While these experiences help me love & serve others, I feel my prayer life is not as robust as it once was: praying is becoming too routine. I feel closer to God when I talk to him than when I recite prayers. Yet, I feel I should continue with some routine prayers.
Just curious for you to say more about the value of routine prayers. What is the potential in them for you? Can you include them in your praying as talking to God or is does it feel dry? I have this struggle myself and like hearing what others have to say.
For me–Routine Prayer Time: I find it seems to focus me daily and often I slip into quiet time without words. But using the routine prayers seem to assist me in finding the presence. In that sense they’re a lot more than routine. Some days are more fruitful than others. Some periods in my life are seemingly “dry”, but I’ve been told those dark and dry times are also times God is present in spite of lack of sensing it. Don’t know if this helps you or not. I’m no expert.
As I sit here and think I am thankful having found our Lord and Savior and while the road has been rough and rugged at times I know it is the only way to peace. For peace comes in total surrender. I have learned that nothing belongs to me that the Hand of Jesus is upon each and every one of us that follow Him. I have read Henri’s books and they have spoken to my heart. The discussions that come from here are awesome and heart warming. I (we) cannot change the our circumstances in the tough times but God can. So all to Jesus I surrender, my faith is what I have gained from reading the books, the bible. I have endured the hardships because the Lord Jesus has walked with me through them. For me my life time quest is Christ in me the hope of glory, to be authentic and I ask myself that when trials come my way. As a Christian I must be authentic for the world watches how we live. So as I write I think of Henri, his life and his story – Reading the excerpts from others a blessing. May I follow the leading of God and the challenges life presents. My prayers for all…..God bless
From Carol SK
I’m a first time participant for on-line discussion; reading & loving the book with my bible study group as well
I’ve had a perfect jumping off point in the past 2 years and that was battling Cancer. On some days I was not able to even get myself a glass of water. I dropped all my volunteer and extra comittments including work. It was a productive time in that I was able to carefully examine my life while I was laid up. God really has to walk beside you in a journey like that otherwise, it would be way too hard.
I also schemed and reflected on ways to say, “No” to all the unending requests I get to do things. If one is too busy, it’s impossible to hear the Lord. I like on p 19 where Henri asks himself, “What decisions have you been making lately and how are they a reflection of the way you sense the future? Somehow I have to trust that God s at work in me and that the way I am being moved to new inner and outer places is part of a larger movement of which I am only a very small part.” We’re only responsible for one thing and that is turning toward Jesus and having a relationship with him. All the actions, etc will flow out from that relationship. When we realize we have screwed up, all we have to do is turn back to him. If we realize we have hurt someone else, of course we have to be accountable for our actions, but in general, turning back toward Jesus is all we have to do.
“I am being moved to new inner and outer places is part of a larger movement of which I am only a very small part” , I love what you said; I can relate. I’m in awe as I write this as well, since “In the Name of Jesus” by Henri has been placed into my life and I am already enjoying this experience. In the Prologue he writes; “God is the God of the present and reveals to those who are willing…” I am most willing as I have begun this process.
Good word for me. “all we have to do is turn back to Jesus” need to do it all the time.
I love Henri’s book and am seeking a deeper relationship with the Lord. The books that Henri wrote make one determined to find answers for life today. It is a world that is falling apart and we need to find answers as Christians to help those others. What would Henri do. I think he would pray and then seek others to help and bless their lives. We as Christians must be determined in our faith, walk as our Lord did, seek His help. We cannot do this on our own for we must ask Jesus to walk with us. We as a Christian group have a responsibility to carry the message to others, to love and help the needy. I see no other way then to complete commit myself to the Lord and give my all.
I grew up in the 50’s/60’s in a most loving and stable evangelical Christian home. I have to say that my deepest convictions about God, faith and Christian living were formed during that time. If only life were so simple and ‘predictable’ now. After 45 years as a pastor and educator, I find myself resting in those things most surely believed, while lacking some of the passion I used to feel about living a holy life and introducing others to Jesus. I think that my early nurturing in the faith led me to an assumption that spirituality consists of the acts and disciplines we practice. This led me to a significant degree down the predictable path of self-sanctification. The more I practiced the disciplines the more I would be accepted by God. Whenever I lapsed or failed I would feel a load of shame and guilt. God’s grace has thankfully brought me into a larger place of freedom. Practicing the presence of God has been my experience for many years. Even when our 24-year-old son died in 2007 and I was so disappointed with God that I could not pray or truly worship, I never lost the sense of His abiding (though distant) presence. I connect with Dave’s reference to ‘doing’ and ‘being’. The journey of faith has brought me to the conviction that the best contribution I can make in this world is to be the best authentic me that I can be. This is God’s present agenda in my life, and I am so grateful to Henri Nouwen and other spirituals who enrich my life. Thank you to all for the inspiration of your words.
Clarence, I too lost a son and can understand being disappointed and angry. Though I was raised steeped in religion, in my case Roman Catholicism, at the time of my son’s death, I was quite distant from God. I was so consumed with my worldly work, that I had little if any thought of God. I was of the notion that I had everything in my world under control. I suppose I was in a mindset similar to Henri Nouwen’ s when he was wrapped up in the academic world.
When I received the call at work that my son was being rushed to the hospital and his death as I was rushing to see him stripped me of all illusions that I was in control of anything. I recall, in the days after the confusion of activity that surround the death of a loved one, simply sitting alone in my grief. I have come to believe, though, that I was not really alone. The God I had ignored for so long was sitting with me. Perhaps it was then that I first recognized the God of the present that Henri describes.
Lately, I’ve found myself again being consumed with my own agenda, slipping into that sense that I am in control. I think it is time to reacquaint myself with our God who exists in each present moment.
It is hard to imagine making such a drastic life change as Henri did based on and recognized as God’s clear and ambiguous direction through the voice of a friend. I like to think of myself as one who makes my own choices and decisions, so perhaps Henri’s willingness to listen for and act on God’s direction is the lesson for me from these two chapters. Perhaps Henri’s prayer, “Lord, show me where you want me to go and I will follow you, but please be clear and unambiguous about it.” is the prayer I should carry in my heart as I walk through this Lenten season.
Greetings from the south western region of the U.S. This is the first time I’ve actually submitted a post, although I’ve read many wonderful ones in the past. I’m retired and enjoy spending my time with family and friends. I also facilitate a support group for separated and divorced women in my local parish. At least two to three times a week I visit a young man who is seriously ill and who is completely at the mercy of those who care for him as he is a double amputee and is blind. The latter two activities have taught me much about God’s grace and healing. This Lent I desire hope for whatever healing God has planned for my young friend, and for the ladies in my group.
Actually, I got hung up on the title of this little work, after reading the Prologue and Introduction. That’s because, as so often happens, Nouwen presents me with a paradox or two that seem very difficult to follow – in my own power.
When I worked in Washington D.C. for 15 years, ‘Leadership’ as a business consultant had everything to do with personal success, power, achievement, and advancement – the ultimate continuous life ‘selfie’. As Ray quoted: “…my success was putting my own soul in danger.” It was especially challenging to listen to Nouwen and the Lord in those days, but the challenge is no different now: will it be me or Him in control of my life? Still a struggle more often than I would like, now in my 70s.
So we are not even to Chap 1 yet, but here I was in familiar territory. I first read his Return of the Prodigal Son 20 years ago, and now again I was remembering what drew me to his writings: His ability to lead me to examine myself.
And here in the Prologue and Introduction, he does it again: Leadership for Nouwen has nothing to do with the pursuits I mentioned above. Leadership instead seems to mean a humbleness of spirit and servanthood to others. As I read about Bill whom Nouwen asked to travel with him, I thought: Who of us would give up a career direction to serve in the most challenging of circumstances like Nouwen? Perhaps not many, and yet he begins by modeling to me that we can learn to live the paradox he presents to us about Leadership, no matter who we are or where we are.
From David Brown
I am retired pastor from mainline church now participating in a Roman Catholic church and am looking forward to this discussion. Nouwen feels like a family member from the affect of reading his books which have been a big part of my spiritual life in 40 yrs. of ministry. I love the book “In the Name Of Jesus.” It is a wonderful guide and warning of dependence on second loves the importance of our “first Love” Looking forward to the discussion.
Responding to “success was putting my own soul in danger.” I am now 75 and really an blessed with a great wife and wonderful children and grandchildren but I am wanting to run from success and towards Him with a repentant heart.
Regarding question #2:
The statement and questions have cause quite the stirring in me today… I am saddened to have to admit that I am most terrible at these things. I tend to move habitually through most interactions and the result of my habitual actions have left little room for organic eternal consequence moments. More times than not, I see God moments as I looking back, analyze and recalling situations and missed opportunities, but rarely in the moment. I also see that, because I have a large capacity for love and deeply desire the things of God, I want these organic moments more than I want most things. It is in that vein that I often try to create moments non-organically and fail miserably. I see the statement “God is a God of the present” an “those willing to listen carefully” as evidence that there is another way… How though, do I overcome the habit of following my perception, self talk and automated responses to stop and listen? This would first require a remembrance to stop and listen. Second, to move beyond whatever feelings I was experiencing, would take courage. (On a side note, my Lenten devotion this morning was on courage… The word courage comes from coeur – to have courage is to listen to our heart, to speak from our heart, and to act from our heart.) It would seem all these ideas are converging. On the one had, I give myself a little credit as I recognize the growth of the gap from reaction to repentance has lessened, but on the other hand I realize the importance of getting to a place of listening carefully so that the things of eternal consequence are not hindered and repentance is not required. My heart response… This is what I want – Help me Lord!
Heather Joy, thank you for your soulful and honest sharing. I too struggle with seeing God in the moment, and like you, I have later regretted lost opportunities. I guess we can take some solace in the fact that we do recognize those lost moments. I feel confident that God appreciates that honest self-scrutiny and desire to change.
The burning question remains: how to make the moments, as you say, more “organic.” I have tried what you might call “inorganic” triggers, using turning on a water faucet, saying a short grace before every cup of tea, or doing a yoga move as a reminder of God in the present. Fairly easy when no pressure is on. However, it is in the throes of an effort to answer six business emails at once or in a difficult encounter with a recalcitrant student that the strong sense of God in the present–when I need him most–may ironically be less in the forefront of my consciousness.
I love your reminder of the relationship between courage and its root in “heart.” With you, I will be praying for such courage this Lent.
This is my first time participating in a book discussion. I too am attempting to see God everywhere. Sometimes in the busyness of my day it is difficult and like Heather and Elaine I do recognize the loss moments. In answering the question of how to see God in the present I am learning to look beyond myself and see God in His creation and the movement of His children. I take a pause and say thanks. Recently I started using photograph as ways to capture a God moment and add it in my journal. I am learning there are so many ways to see Him for he is everywhere all I need to do is develop the discipline of quietness in my soul.
Greetings Heather Joy, Elaine, and Venita! I find this wonderful discussion thread a revealing example of an “organic” moment. Allow me to explain. In the midst of an especially stressful week centered around my future (finding the direction for and energy to start my dissertation; anxiety over a possible job; raising teenage boys—one with Asperger’s Syndrome—as a single mom; and consequences of addictive overeating as a way to cope), I opened the windows to a beautiful breeze, listened to chirping birds and the rustling leaves of the bushes, and seized the opportunity to “complete my reading assignment” for this book discussion. After I finished reading, I went back to highlight the message that spoke the loudest to me: “God is a God of the present and reveals to those willing to listen carefully to the moment in which they live the steps they are to take to the future. ‘Do not worry about tomorrow,’ Jesus says. ‘Tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own’ (Matthew 6:34). Next, I turned to the blog. I found it serendipitous that Ray’s second prompt included part of my highlighted message. And then when I found that the three of you were discussing this phrase, I became aware of what was happening. I began to sense the breeze and rustling leaves as the Holy Spirit surrounding me, and I felt moved to reply to your posts. This all happened organically, I was not looking for an inspiring moment; it was a “present” in the present moment. I also noticed that what was to me the most important part of Henri’s (and God’s) message was not part of the prompt: “Do not worry about tomorrow,” Jesus says. ‘Tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own” (Matthew 6:34). There it was… the gift of peace by staying grounded in the present moment. It became clear that for now, the steps I need to take for the future are gaining perspective on what is important—taking time for my spiritual self… after a long break, returning to God’s word and those who write about God’s word, and trusting my never-swaying faith that I am doing today what will lead me to where I am supposed to go. Today, that included sharing a moment with Henri, Matthew the disciple, and you three souls. There is a final part to this organic moment. Just when I was about to hit the “post comment” button, I scrolled to the top of the page, and my thoughts disappeared. I became frustrated and started to walk away, thinking I don’t have time for this! Instead, I opened a Word document and began writing again. This time, my thoughts were even clearer. When I went back to the webpage to copy/paste my thoughts, my initial post reappeared. “Really?” I thought. God was making sure I heard what he had to say and purposefully took time out of my day to listen carefully.
From Steve
This is the first time I’m participating in a book discussion, but I’ve been discovering Henri Nouwen’s books for the past few years. I’m 52 years old and serve as a shepherd to global workers with Barnabas International. Prior to this, my wife and I lived and worked in Cambodia for 13 years. We’re trying to get used to living back here in the U.S. (Indiana) even as we continue to live an itinerant life-style and are happy to have others journeying with us. I look forward to what God reveal to me this Lenten season…Shalom!
As always it is a great solace to read Henri Nouwen’s words and follow the comments offered on this site. To know there are others who share one’s own internal struggles brings a certain degree of comfort. As a principal in a high school (or headteacher, as we call it in the UK) I have seen what I thought was my vocation change over a 28 year career. The busyness that dominates all aspects of life can blind me to the purpose of what I do. It is not that the task is separating me from God, more the way that I am doing it. There are prophetic voices within the community of God’s people who point us back from the functional “how” to the spiritual “why” – listening, and responding, to these voices is, I believe, the pathway that I need to take now. I cannot withdraw from a busy world … Who would do this work instead? What would underpin their philosophy? No … God has called me to this … In John Nenry Newman’s words, ” He has created me to do him some definite service”. My challenge is to bring my spiritual life and my working life to a union … each leading and requiring of the other. If I reclaim my “why” the “how” will become grace-filled.
Having turned 50 last summer, I do wonder if I have grown spiritually? Much of what Hneri Nouwen says in these passages resonates with me … incomplete prayer life, a disconnect with some of the people who need attention the most and too wrapped up in the negativity of the day to day. I have joined these discussion groups before, only to drop of before the end as the day to day overwhelms me … or so I kid myself. I seem to find time for other distractions! That phrase that Henri used, “… realize the unlikelihood of doubling my years”, certainly had an impact on me. I believe it is this thought that is making me consider how I “be” in my role as a leader in my school and church communities. With the Year of Mercy instigated by Pope Francis and the focus on the dreadful plight of the Syrian refugees I can feel a strong desire to reawaken my commitment to a preferential option for the poor. I simply need to find the many opportunities in my work to do my bit, again, referring to Newman, “I am a link in the chain”.
I cannot end without referring to the great emphasis that Henri Nouwen place on the role played by Bill Van Buren. None of us need do this alone. We are supported in the most unlikely ways by people we may least expect it of … How my ego needs to hear and respond to that impressive thought!
God bless for the week
Phil
Phil, I have a friend who is a head teacher like you, so I have been witnessing the heavy work load this entails. I have been concerned about her support network and have been reflecting on how Henri took Bill along as support. Your point that leaders like you and my friend can receive support from the most unlikely people gives me hope that my friend will also receive support in some surprising way. Today that is my prayer for both you and her.
I’m touched by your kind thoughts Susan. Many thanks for your prayer- greatly appreciated. Phil
As a result of the shortage of priests here in some parts of Ecuador I(as a religious sister) am facing the challenge of taking on a more “priestly” role in the outskirts of parishes. Last year I had the privilege of leading the Eucharistic Services during Holy Week in a recinto (an area an hours drive outside of a small town) and living with a simple and beautiful family of the campo.It was an enriching experience. This year I have the opportunity to “throw my net further into the deep” and help with the Holy week Services in the Amazon region. I am still discerning whether or not to go as I like my creature comforts!!! Keep me in prayer.
I am very thankful for the times in my life when God has made himself known to me in very real and tangible ways. Yet, I have rarely if ever received God’s clear and unambiguous guidance, as Nouwen did, although I have prayed for it. I am at a point in my life where I am once again praying for God’s clear and unambiguous guidance. I’ve had what some would refer to as ‘worldly success’ over the years. Most recently, I held a very senior position in a provincial health and social service organization. It was an all consuming position that really drained me and in many ways it was a relief when I was downsized before Christmas. I don’t want to return to a similar role and I am seeking God’s direction about what I should do next.
I am 30 years old, and so thought of relentless change taking place in the past 30 years hits me in a particular way. I don’t know how it was before, but for whatever reason God has called me here now, anomaly that I may be. (I didn’t grow up in the church but came to it in college, when most of my peers were moving away from it.) And now I am a pastor in an institution that is continuing to face rapid change. I don’t know how I got here other than grace, and I want to trust that grace will lead me moment by moment. Really, this book tells me what I want so much to believe in my bones but which I struggle each day to believe.
While I was born in the 40’s, I’ve been a believer only since the mid 70’s. Shortly after coming to Christ (probably too soon), I became an elder in my church and denomination. Like most of us, I suspect, I’ve had seasons of closeness and seasons of distance from God. The changes I’ve seen in the 40 years of ministry is a definitive movement away from prayer- both individually and collectively – and community that is associated with a busyness that is overwhelming to us all.
I’ve grown close and continue to spend more time in the Word and more time in prayer as I’ve recently retired from a leadership position in a medical non-profit and arrived in a new ministry – hospice. I’m excited about this new calling as I believe its an opportunity to an often marginalized, lonely, and fearful group of both believers and unbelievers.
I appreciate your comment about the drive to busyness. As a pastor, I feel that drive within myself, as I often find myself assuming that the busier I am, the better I must be doing my job. And I see it in my church–its sense of self-esteem often comes from what it is doing, from the number of programs it offers.
But Nouwen points us to the call to prayer. For Lent this year we are focusing on prayer practices as a congregation, and it’s also pushing me to really own and deepen my own prayer life, which was pretty strong up until I started working in the church, whatever that suggests or means.
Reading your thoughts affirms my church’s focus this Lenten season and gives me hope that focusing on prayer and our inner lives is the point from which real growth begins, whether we see it on the outside in the ways we’d like to or not.
Immediately, as I read the early pages of the prologue, I picked up on, “stepped away from….” , the need for careful listening, and ….”willing to listen carefully to the moment in which they live the steps that they are to take toward the future.” Such good questions, Ray…..born in the 50’s, growing up during formative years during the 60’s, I know that I was influenced by a survival mode of thinking and doing, self-sufficient, lacking a healthy trust in the love and care from others. I have always been uncomfortable with using “success” as a measuring stick, and in the past 16 years have been through a reborn, transforming process….which I can honestly say….a stepping away from has happened, I just not sure what I stepping towards. But I do know, I am trusting more and more the flow of Holy Spirit work in revealing, totally believing God revealed through Jesus, and that revealing work continues every moment of every day for every believer…..so listening, and I would add, watching and praying are the challenges for me personally, during this Lent season and discussion……..and trusting and discerning in the company of others on this journey.
I am presently in a leadership role in higher education and want to be spiritually centered and attentive to God’s direction. While I do know, from experience, that guidance comes in the moment of surrender, of asking, of listening (not talking), I am all too frequently swept up in my own ego. Pausing to ask, “What would You have me do here, now, in this situation, with this person, in this meeting?” or perhaps more pointedly, based on our reading, “Help me to express love in this situation, ….” feels like a specific direction for now.
From Franz and Grace
We are a couple who live in Northeast Asia, seeking to love God and love others as we love ourselves. We look forward to this Lenten journey together!
Questions 3 and 4 call me to some necessary though uncomfortable self-examination. Have I really become closer to Jesus as I age? Have I prayed enough for God’s “clear and unambiguous” guidance? Related questions for me might be these: Could I be as honest with myself as Henri was when he realized that his spiritual health required him to step away from the prestige and influence he enjoyed at Harvard? Could I be as courageous and humble as Henri was when he assumed the role of vulnerable servant and student in the “school” of L’Arche? How much is my own volunteer work motivated by my desire to exercise a “preferential option for the poor” and how much is motivated by my need to be productive and useful? Have I prayed enough to know whether I am using my time and talent as God really wants?
I love our discussions on this site because I can take consolation in knowing that all of us are fellow searchers for meaning, and even when a particular answer does come our way, we continue to probe more deeply. Even more, I love the fact that many of you have discovered beautiful answers that I have not. From you—and from Henri, I am learning how to listen for the still, small voice of God in my life.
Thank you for mentioning that “need to be productive and useful” that can easily linger below the surface and be a barrier in our relationship to Jesus. I will be thinking about my own need and how it impacts my prayer life and, therefore, my ministry.
1. The influence of Rene Descartes, “I think therefore I am.” was and still is defining much of our response to life. On the bright side, realizing that his was a mechanistic view of the world where what “I do” is all that is important has led to the awakening to the importance of what “I be”. What “I be” is becoming more more understood as the essence of what makes a difference
2. Each day I experience “God of the present” more and more. It first has come from a deliberate practice and then spread to the interior of my day
3. This is hard; it brings up the distance between what I say I want to be and what I do. There is so much “grey” it becomes a “white-out” at times. I need to revisit this each day.
4. “Clear and unambiguous”, hmm – I’ve received guidance, and it has taken continued faith, patience and discernment to more fully understand and take action (23 years and counting).
Yes; see John 3:3.One must be washed and filled with The Holy Spirit always.
Welcome and thanks for joining us and pointing us to Scripture.
Her is what I found: “Jesus answered him, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born anew, he cannot see the kingdom of God.'” ( John 3:3).
The note in the Ignatius Catholic Study Bible says the following about “anew”: The Greek expression can mean either “again” or “from above”. Nicodemus takes it to mean “again”, as though Jesus required a physical rebirth to enter his kingdom. This is a misunderstanding. Jesus instead calls for a spiritual rebirth “from above”. The Greek expression also means “from above” elsewhere in John (3:31, 19:11, 23)