Reading: Prologue – The Chalice and the Cup; Introduction – The Question
Last week we had the opportunity to gather together and introduce ourselves. This week Henri writes, “I want to tell the story of the cup, not just as my story, but as the story of life” and he describes how this little book came about. Henri begins by sharing something of his formative years. Using the images of the golden chalice and the glass cups he reflects on his own faith journey. Most important, he describes the moment of insight when the words of Scripture “pierced my heart” and he immediately understood the importance of seriously considering Jesus’s question “Can you drink the cup that I am going to drink?” Henri then posed the three questions (p. 24) we will consider in the coming weeks.
But first, we have ample food for thought and reflection in this week’s reading….
1) Henri reflects, “It was Sunday, July 21, 1957… I was ordained to the priesthood… I will never forget the deep emotion that stirred my heart at that moment.” (p. 16) Looking back from 39 years later, it remained for Henri a day that forever changed his life. Most of us can recall similar milestone events in our lives–events that marked phases in our journey; events that challenged our faith or our worldview; events that resulted in actions we are proud of or we regret. You are encouraged to reflect on your own journey and to identify the milestone events in your life. Explore your recollections and the emotions that you feel. Consider carefully what you have learned and how you grew. To the extent that you are comfortable, share what you discover.
2) “My maternal grandmother was my great supporter… (she) gently introduced me to a life of prayer and encouraged me in a personal relationship with Jesus.” (p. 17) Among the people that Henri recalls from the “garden of my youth” he emphasizes the preeminent role played by his grandmother. Likewise, we often have people that have played a similar role in helping us to know Jesus. Look back at your life and identify those key people. You might say a prayer of gratitude for their gift to you. Where it is possible, consider reaching out to them to say “Thanks!” If you are willing to do so, please share your story of encouragement.
3) “My uncle Anton, who was ordained in 1922, offered me his chalice… It was a very precious gift and I was deeply moved to receive it… my uncle’s decorated golden chalice no longer expresses what I am presently living. During the Eucharist today, I use several large cups… These glass cups speak about a new way of being a priest and a new way of being human.” (p. 21)
(The photograph of Henri’s chalice is by Sheila Eaton care of the Nouwen Archives.) Considering Henri’s words here and from other of his works you have read, what does Henri’s transition from using the golden chalice to the glass cups tell you about his life experience and faith journey? Then consider your own life and faith journey and the changes or transitions you have experienced. If you are comfortable, share your reflections with the group.
4) “Can we hold our life, lift our life, and drink it as Jesus did? … Jesus’ question had given me a new language with which to speak about my life and the lives of those around me.” (p. 23-24) With these words Henri is pointing us toward next weeks’ reading and discussion. But first we might reflect on what Henri means by a “new language” and why he might have felt it was needed. What is it about this Gospel story that opens Henri up to realize “that taking this question seriously would radically change our lives.”? What new insights do you think Henri gained beyond those that he had developed previously that led to the “new language”. What insights have you gained and why does Jesus’ question challenge you?
As will always be the case, these questions are intended to assist us and to help get the discussion flowing, but not to bound or limit the conversation. Please feel free to share whatever comes up for you in the readings and in response to the comments of others.
Finally, if you have any questions, please feel free contact me at [email protected] or Maureen at [email protected].
Hi everyone,
I’ve been reading Can You Drink the Cup? … but being resistant to its message. I’m a relatively new Catholic (confirmed at Easter Vigil 2013) and I still find myself putting up barriers. Even though I’m just so tired and want to rest. Too tired to run; too afraid to rest – sums up how I feel these days, months really. Especially now that the ugly politics of religion is back in the news. But this group seems different. You all seem grounded in your faith, yet willing to acknowledge how challenging you find life at times. Reading Thomas Merton’s prayer here – perhaps I’ve found a place where I can be safe and quiet. I want to be quiet and nourish my soul. It’s summer time here in south Florida – very hot, humid and wet. So it’s a good time to stay inside, actually. And maybe re-connect with my soul, and with God. Thank you all. Peace and Blessings.
p.s. And, Oh, dear. Did I actually type that I wasn’t going to “even try” to comment on that chapter in one email? Well, one of my tiny character flaws: too darned many words. Believe it or not, I have more.
Meanwhile, “Jesus, you are the Way through the wilderness; show me your Truth, in which I journey and, by the grace of the Holy Spirit, be in me the Life that draws me to God.”
I am a newbie to online book discussions and was unsure exactly what was going to happen. Well, here I go! in the foreword by Ron Hansen, I liked “In sharing the wine, those loyal to Christ were joining him in an offering of their own blood for the sake of others.” That idea had never entered my mind at all. The sentence by Ron H. :”The blessing cup of wine became Christ’s blood , a source of life and salvation for those who share it. This is what I had always thought and believed. I really like the idea of “offering of their own blood for the sake of others.” I like the idea of working along side of Christ. In the Prologue, I could picture Henri as a child of 6 at a make-shift altar. Thanks be to God for his maternal grandmother’s assistance. The glass cups are just what I would like to see — least elitist! in the introduction –The Question. “Can I, can we drink the cup that Jesus drank?” That is a very, very difficult question. I know that I am unsure but I fully believe that God’s help will help me do just that. It will be only through my lack of faith that I’d fail. God grant me a steadfast faith.
Gold vs glass? All are loved and welcomed to his table…rich and poor, strong and weak, whole and broken…blending, binding and completing each other.
Gold hints at exclusivity, is opaque and seemingly for the few while glass is clear, open and available to all. Nouwen addresses this on p 21 when he says of the glass cups”the wine can be seen and from which many can drink”.
Nouwen often speaks of community and the unconditional love of Christ for all. Isn’t this also in the cup?
Jesus asks, “Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?” Henri poses a similar question, “Can you live your life to the full whatever it will bring?” And to those questions I would add a single word – today. Each day we are are presented with the cup and challenged to live our life to the full.
What is God’s will for me today? It is a question that often causes me great difficulty–especially if I don’t particularly feel excited or enthusiastic about the day ahead. In his book The Jesuit Guide to (almost) Everything, Fr. Jim Martin, SJ explores this important question in a way that I think Henri would have appreciated. Fr. Walter Ciszek, SJ was imprisoned in Russia for over 20 years from WW II until 1963. The revelation that was crucial to Fr. Ciszek’s survival in the camp was an understanding of God’s will in his difficult, even hopeless, situation.
As Fr. Ciszek wrote after his return: “[God’s] will for us was the twenty-four hours of each day: the people, the places, the circumstances he set before us in that time. Those were the things God knew were important to him and to us at that moment, and those were the things upon which he wanted us to act, not out of any abstract principle or out of any subjective desire to “do the will of God.” No, these things, these twenty-four hours of this day, were his will; we had to learn to recognize his will in the reality of the situation.”
Now, if I may, a brief reflection on Henri’s awareness that, “Jesus’ question had given me a new language with which to speak about my life and the lives of those around me.” As Henri described it, the inspiration came “a few years” before he wrote this book in 1996. While I don’t know the exact year, it was possibly in 1993 or 1994 that Henri knew “that taking this question seriously would radically change our lives.” By then Henri had been at L’Arche for a number of years and he had recently published three of what are now his five most popular books: In the Name of Jesus (1989), Return of the Prodigal Son (1992), and Life of the Beloved (1992). Central to each of these books is the concept that, like Jesus, we are beloved children of God. Henri writes, “The great message we have to carry… is that God loves us not because of what we do or accomplish, but because God has created and redeemed us in love…” Or this. “I have been wondering if there might be one word I would most want you to remember… It is the word ‘Beloved’…” Henri knew, at the depth of his being, that he and each one of us is God’s Beloved–created out of God’s love and called to follow Jesus. That was the language that Henri beautifully applied to describe his life and those around him. But knowing that we are Beloved is not enough. How should we live as the Beloved? And it was to answer that question that the “new language” was so powerful. Henri realized that to live as the Beloved we must drink the cup that Jesus drinks. And he then proceeds to describe, as only he can, how we are to consume the cup of life–by holding, lifting, and drinking.
I’m excited to move into next week.
Ray, Your comments and Nouwen’s remind me of Esther deWaal’s book, “Seeking God,” in which she says, basically that if I can’t find God here, in this place, with these people, I cannot find God anywhere.” I think about Nouwen in his community and the discovery of God, today, in just what is. And, for me, the acceptance of whatever pain I have as basically just my share of the world’s pain. I am called to carry my load, nothing more than that.
I’m just looking at some material on Isaac Luria and loving again the creation story in his Kabbalah in which the world is created when the vessels, the cups, which God has filled with divine light, shatter because they are not strong enough to hold it and send divine sparks flying to earth where our job in our lives is gathering those sparks back together in order to restore the world and heaven.
That’s a very poor summary of a gorgeous story.
Have you read Fr. Martin’s new book, “Jesus: A Pilgrimage”?
Thanks for sharing the comment from Seeking God. It’s a perfect reminder for today and every day. I am currently reading Jesus: A Pilgrimage. It’s wonderful.
My prayers are with all of you who have expressed your own challenges to drinking the cup of life, no matter what the struggle.
One of my early struggles with lay ministry was that I expected people of faith to be better behaved than those of no faith. I hadn’t realized that this was my unspoken expectation until my own fragile clouded glass cup was shattered. I suspect Henri’s large clear glass cups were made of stronger stuff. The clarity of the glass enabled him and all to see the wine contained within. Once transubstantiated, we see the blood of the cross, the sorrow of life that Jesus shared with us and that redeems us still.
Hi, I’m a little late posting. I have read a lot of Nouwen’s books but not this one as yet.
I am new to online book discussions. Finding this discussion group is such a blessing at this time. I am struggling with “drinking the cup”. I informally met both Henri Nouwen and Jean Vanier at an event in Toronto several years ago (more like 25 to 30).
I live in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. My energy is directed toward finding paid work and preparing to move in a year or so.
My first Nouwen book was “The Wounded Healer” which I read in the mid 80s. For w while I kept a journal with favourite quotes from his books. It is difficul to choose a favourite.
The prologue reminded me of my own early life. There is a certain naiveté, innocence and perhaps idealism that surrounded the youth of my post WWII generation. I cannot speak about the past two generations. I met my first divorced person in my 20s and my first atheist in my 50s. And when I got involved with Church lay ministry, I also was “full of love for Jesus. and full of desire to bring the Gospel to the world, but without being fully aware that not everybody was waiting for me.”
It is a privilege and a blessing to be a member of this incredible, caring, and spirit-filled community. I want to thank each of you for sharing your poignant and powerful stories that clearly demonstrate how you have chosen to drink the cup and to “…live your life to the full whatever it will bring.” The deeply personal reflections and the compassionate responses are tangible evidence that within this community we are speaking the “new language” that inspired Henri one morning at Eucharist. Thanks to each of you for your presence, whether you have been actively participating in the discussion or reading and reflecting in private. We are all members of one body called together to learn from Henri and each other.
And please, feel free to continue to submit comments on this post until 7:30 p.m. EDT on Saturday, July 12th. Beginning Sunday morning we will consider the first of Henri’s three key questions–Can we hold the cup of life in our hands? I look forward to continuing our journey together.
I am grateful for Henri sharing his “AAH” moments and how much the cup symbolizes “life” for each one of us. About the question, I think the real question is “Why should I drink this cup…?” My life of ups and downs, joys and sorrows, hills and valleys has meaning when I follow Jesus as he lived life to the full. I resist the cup of sorrows because I’d prefer joys. Then I turn to the cross and see how Jesus lived out the sorrows until transformed them into new life by rising. Why do I have this cup to drink….because Christ called me into full communion with Divine goodness…even when what is difficult will somehow be transforming grace for me….grow my faith, hope and love in God.
The glasses rather than the gold chalice? Could it be a visible way of embracing poverty? Not using the rich gold but the less expensive glass? The Church has been criticized for having too much “geld” -especially in the Vatican grandeur. Pope Francis seems to be speaking a new message of a poorer Church that is rich in compassion.
About a dozen years ago I was in the Benedictine Abbey book store in Valyermo California when I randomly picked up a book that would impact my spiritual and emotional life to this day. I had never heard of Henri Nouwen so it could only have been the Spirit at work. The book was “The Heart of Henri Nouwen” by Laird and Christensen. Upon opening the book, Henri’s words jumped off the page when he spoke of his vulnerability, sense of rejection, loneliness, the risk of friendship. He was speaking to me and about me. We connected instantly and over the years the book was my guide and I regarded him as a spiritual director as we went much deeper into the spiritual life. . Many more of Henri’s book have been added to my library over the years, the latest being “Can You Drink the Cup”.
As I read the many comments from the participants and learn of their connections with Henri, I am humbled and excited to move on thru this retreat with them. What a gift!
The story of Henri and his Uncle’s chalice resonated with me. The transition of faith is something that I have experienced, and sometimes felt conflicted about. I had a profound reversion to my Catholic faith 13 years ago. It has been a journey. I once considered myself a “traditional” Catholic , attended Latin mass, etc… Due to a number of different circumstances, today I still hold to the tenets of my faith, but I am more “mellow”, for lack of a better word. I am a happier Christian, and more true to my self.
Nouwen’s final sentence in the Prologue struck me: “I am happy with these cups on the altar today, but without the golden chalice given me by my uncle Anton nearly forty years ago, they would not mean as much to me as they do.”
Faith is a journey, a relationship with Christ which grows and changes as all relationships do. These parts are not competing or opposed, but linked and foundational. This reflection has been a blessing to me today. I look forward to the reading ahead and more sharing with you all.
I did not get a chance to enter an introduction before June 29th. I did, however, so wished to participate. I first read this book nearly six years ago. At the time I was the 52 year old mother of five, aged 13 to 29, and my husband of 30 years was lying in a vegetative state as a result of a traumatic brain injury. My life was so stressful that my pastor (also boss and friend) sent me on my first silent retreat. I found the book on the library shelf of the retreat house and actually read it in an evening. It was life changing for me. When I got home I bought my own copy. I go to it each time it feels that God is offering me a new cup to drink from. But yet, is it not always the same cup Jesus speaks of each time? We must choose to drink from it again and again, no matter if the drink is bitter or sweet. The cup right now is bittersweet for me. I now am facing an empty nest, as my youngest is leaving for college in six weeks. I am proud and happy that, no matter the circumstances we’ve faced, my children have grown into productive, happy adults. However, I now have to face a new life learning to take care of myself first, and find new opportunities to be of service to the Lord and the world
So, I have been contemplating Henri’s questions, “Can you drink the cup? Can you empty it to the dregs? Can you taste all the sorrows and joys? Can you live your life to the full whatever it will bring?”
Questioning in the midst of our faith journey is vital. My father taught me to question. Our questions provide a “new language” or a new perspective and way of viewing life; however, they don’t always give us the answers we expect.
“Dregs” are defined as the remnants of a liquid left in a container, together with any sediment or grounds; or, the most worthless part or parts of something.
If I get to the bottom of a cup of coffee that contains the “dregs,” I usually try to politely spit them out…not drink them. However, without those grounds we are unable to get the rich, full-bodied flavor of the coffee. But, we have coffee filters, and tea strainers, etc. to avoid the unpleasantness.
So, in our walk of faith, what are the dregs? And, what have we done to filter them out? Should they even be filtered out?
Then, I read Sister Susanna Margaret’s post in which she wrote, “I know should everything else fall out of the cup, love will still be at the base of the circular bowl.”
This simple statement of truth reflects the trust we must have in a loving God.
We grab hold of our life. We openly and transparently lift our life up as an offering to God. Then, we fully drink in all this life has to offer in complete trust.
Wow. Thank you Bonnie for this thought provoking post.
““Dregs” are defined as the remnants of a liquid left in a container, together with any sediment or grounds; or, the most worthless part or parts of something.”
Ahhh. What to do with the coffee grounds. I keep hearing Romans 8:28, “I make all things work together for good”. Perhaps this is the surprise at the bottom of our cups, there are no coffee grounds. Faith becomes the catalyst for the miraculous transformation of what the world may deem “left-overs” into “love at the bottom of the circular bowl.” (Thank you Sister Susanna Margaret for that beautiful and comforting picture)
As I prayerfully consider all that life has poured into my cup, I can’t say I would really filter any of it out; including this current season in the “Valley of the Shadow of Death.” More than ever, I cling to the promises that all will make sense in Heaven and that nothing is wasted in God’s economy. This is where I find my peace and hope and strength.
Blessings on you day!
Thank you Ray for reminding me of the Merton prayer which I haven’t thought about in a while! I was not surprised that Henri was an admirer of Thomas Merton…they both were amazingly open, honest and transparent about the struggles in their life. Truly “wounded healers”. (Interestingly, the daily meditations this week have been about this very topic.).
I am touched deeply by Henri’s transition from “golden chalice” to glass cups…because I believe it does reflect his journey so beautifully. It is Henri’s transparency and gut-wrenching honesty that have made him my wounded healer. And his transition also reflects my own spiritual journey. Considering my journey from golden chalice to glass cup is both painful and joyful for me. Although raised in the Catholic Church, I became involved as a young mother in what can only be described as a cult disguised as a church. When I look back on those years, as I often do (with guilt and regret) I can see so clearly that I was a “golden chalice”…so concerned with outward appearances and “looking good” to the leaders (i.e. recruiting more members). I was so narrow minded and self-righteous and, in reality, so far from who God created me to be. I wasn’t living in God’s unconditional love for me and thought I had to earn it…how exhausting and fruitless that was! But God was with me through that difficult time and He lovingly and mercifully brought me back to my Catholic roots and led me to a warm and loving and non-judgmental parish community. My great desire is to be that glass cup…fully transparent and “real”. Henri has been my guide through the latter part of my journey…God introduced me to Henri and he has been my wounded healer for many years now. It is because he made that transition and modeled it for me that I have received the healing I so desperately needed.
So happy to be a part of this healing community!
Blessings,
Diane C.
Diane,
Thank you for you sharing your challenging faith journey. As someone that also can look back with guilt and regret at how I lived for several years, I know that God always welcomes us home with open arms–as the father welcomes home the prodigal son. As the Dominican mystic and theologian Meister Eckhart wrote about 700 years ago, “God is at home; it’s we who have gone out for a walk.” We can always choose to return home. Each day presents a new opportunity to choose to “drink the cup” regardless of whether we drank from it or avoided it in the past.
May the Lord give you peace.
Ray
July 11, 2014 – 7am
Ray, Your intro leads me to think back to two earlier times of reflective challenge within my seminary experience:
• My first surrender after accepting Jesus as Savior in eighth grade at a Billy Graham sponsored crusade in Waynesburg, PA and wishing Jesus would be my all in all in junior year at University of Pittsburgh at Johnstown, came when I was working as intended as civil field engineer in Burns Harbor, Indiana, six days a week, 10 hours per day between October and April, when we have the shortest day light of the year, only to get up in the dark and return home, after dark, to hear God ask me, “Are you having fun at what you wish to do in life? I choose to seek council in changing from engineering and proposing to marry the lady of my dreams! Both of which I accomplished in 1982. First, enrolled at Asbury Seminary in February, and then marriage in June! We moved 400 miles from our homes which were three miles apart, yet we never dated in high school for I’m three years older than Pat, and three years in high school as like eternity!
• I was in my second of four years of training experience, (I did a slower track than most). I responded to a message on: I Surrender All! So when I went forward, I left all inhibitions, all second guesses, all personal goals and regrets, to serve to one who called me into ministry! This was realized 10 days before my seminary graduation, when my family and I were in a life altering wreck with a pick-up truck loaded with gravel. Needless to say, we were all hospitalized. I was life-lifted to University Of Kentucky. Later on details if desired! In Christ love, Tom Michalko
7/9/2014
My name is Kim Bellew and I am not a Catholic; but I am the daughter of Missionaries. However, as a young adult, I disowned all things religious (but that is a long story!) What’s important is for the last 15 years, I have loved God with my whole heart.
I recently discovered the writing of Henri Nouwen and feel like I have met a soul mate. My current situation has provided an opportunity to spend much time in prayer. I have taken a leave of absence from my career to walk with my husband as he travels through the valley of the shadow of death. He has late stage, terminal cancer. To the world, he is dying and I am saying good-bye; but not really. Rather, I am discovering what it is to truly live and when the time comes, will simply say; “I will see you in Heaven my blue-eyed man”.
Response to Reading:
My Cup.
I spent a good portion of my young adult life attempting to dump out the contents of my cup. I was not interested in what others had led me to believe was lurking in the deep bowl of my chalice. No, I said with determination, I can do better than this.
Eventually, I began to choke on the self-will I had allowed to simmer in the brew. It is impossible to make a cup with life, love, power, and grace. Those are gifts bestowed by God.
Today, I look in my cup, the real one, and see beauty. I see pain, loss, shame, guilt, and grief have become integral spices in the much larger volume of love, peace, mercy, grace, healing and joy. They are binders really, for all that God has transformed in His perfect time as I surrendered my mind and will to Him. They remind me of wounds bathed and cared for by a savior that dared to drink His cup to the dregs of death.
Today, at 51, my prayer is to truly embrace this cup as it continues to reveal its ingredients. I burn with desire for others to share with me all that my Father has done to create nectar out of the pain. Sweet, life-changing, and healing nectar to strengthen them as they ponder the question, “can you drink the cup?”
Truly, in the darkest moments I know I have the strength to drink mine because He first drank His. Thank you Jesus. I love you beautiful Savior.
Kim… Welcome and thank you for your beautiful and moving comment. May the Lord continue to give you and your husband peace… Ray
Dear Kim,
Welcome and thank you for your thoughtful and poignant reflection. Please be assured of our thoughts and prayers for your husband and for you.
Peace,
Maureen
Henri Nouwen Society
I was also truly touched by your sharing Kim. Especially “because He first drank His.” I was raised Catholic but have been attending a “Community Church” for over 20 years — I call it “new-fangled” compared to pretty much all the major denominational churches. But Henri Nouwen, he had a gift. I am glad you found us and I pray for both you and your husband to find joy and peace.
Wow Kim,
You’re a great writer! Thanks.
Kim,
Your in a holy place of life…reminds me that Christ said “I am the vine, you are branches.” We are offered such an amazing grace to be connected with
Divine Life. As St. Pual told us, “In Christ, I can do all things.”
Love your metaphor about the spices of life. Please throw in some basil and tercumin(sp?) for me!
I shared in my intro that I have recently been diagnosed with Breast Cancer. I’m certainly drinking a cup I don’t want to drink – in fact I will be fed it by IV tomorrow as I’m starting my first Chemo therapy.
Thanks be to God, I am feeling quite calm, no doubt due to all the prayers people are offering on my behalf. I have an excellent Oncologist and the Cancer hospital I go to is wonderful.
I look forward to reading all the posts. Thanks.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you Marianne.
Maureen
Henri Nouwen Society
Marianne,
I am praying today for you as you start your chemo. As you go through this journey, silently meditate on the strength of The Cup. It will give you the solitude and peace that will carry you through this trial. You are in Jesus’ arms. A fellow breast cancer survivor.
I have been following the discussion each day since the 29th when I experienced difficulty connecting to your site. I posted but somehow it did not take and today is the first time I am trying again. I bought the book in June and I have had to restrain myself from reading ahead. For the last 8 months I was involved in “Challenge” which is a daily meditation program based on The Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius, and we were cautioned at the beginning not read the daily meditations ahead and now I can see the benefit that advice. We were a group of 8 who met once a week to discuss the 7 meditations for the previous week. It was amazing what small miracles occurred over that time for each of us and we look forward to reconvening in the fall.
In the same spirit of expectation I am joining in these discussions. Thank you all for your input. The Holy Spirit is at work here!
Mary… Welcome and thanks for joining us. We had some difficulties with the website early last week that took some time to resolve. Everything seems to be working well now. Glad you (along with the Holy Spirit) are here… Ray
I feel blessed to take part in this discussion. Every day I pray the Challenge prayer which I have found keeps me centered:
Father, you created me and put me on earth for a purpose. Jesus, you died for me and called me to complete your work. Holy Spirit, you help me to carry out the work for which I was created and called. In your presence and name–Father, Son, and Holy Spirit–I begin my meditation. May all my thoughts and inspirations have their origin in you and be directed to your glory.
I also pray to be open to the ways in which the Holy Spirit guides me. I call them synchronicities…some may call these daily happenings coincidences. There have been so many of these synchronicities in my life (I am now 70) that as I age, my faith is deepened daily. And some days when I feel down and lost, I know that there is a tomorrow and a new beginning. Bless you all for being part of my life during these discussions.
Mary…. Thank you for sharing the brief and powerful Challenge prayer…Ray
Thank you for this sharing
Hello Mary,
I am sorry you had trouble posting on the blog. We had some technical issues with our website right at the start of the discussion; the timing couldn’t have been worse! I’m glad though that you returned to the blog to try again. Welcome!
Maureen
Henri Nouwen Society
“Can you drink the cup that I am going to drink? Jesus could not avoid the path that had been chosen for him nor could he avoid the pain and suffering and so we have to live our own life, not someone else’s. As Nouwen says, “we have to hold our own cup”. I have learned on my journey that there are doors and windows and when I find myself coming from a place that is not rooted in love I ask for God’s guidance and protection -if it is for me then lead me to it, if not- please close the door. My maternal grandmother helped shape my faith journey by teaching me through her own life how to see the face of God in everyone. I see the transition from the gold chalice to the glass cups as a form of conversion as well; “if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation, the old has fallen away………” We give up what no longer serves us, bless possessions and memories and send them on their way in order to make room for Christ. I hold the cup of love and sorrow, hope and despair, dreams and fear of numbered days but it is in those times when I am able to stop running to things or from things and sit in silence awaiting the Lord , when I can hold the cup and ask for His blessing and help, that I know should everything else fall out of the cup, love will still be at the base of the circular bowl. As I lift the cup of wine to a communicant’s lips during the Eucharist it is an invitation to join together , to trust in God as Jesus did , to symbolically lift our own cup and celebrate life together.
Thank you for the encouraging words you wrote, “I know should everything else fall out of the cup, love will still be at the base of the circular bowl.” I was stuck on the words, “Can you empty it to the dregs?” You gave me a whole new perspective.
Your comment about the doors and windows on your journey and finding yourself coming from a place not rooted in love,thus asking for guidance from God to be gems for my journey. Thanking God for your sharing.
Henri has a way of writing the juiciest introductions! I think I could meditate all summer on the introduction to this book – rich in metaphors.
I find I’m so lucky – I can’t really single out a person who was pivotal in my spiritual journey because there were so many. It’s an understatement to say that I am thankful for the home where I was raised with faithful parents. Things didn’t always go their way but they were always faithful.
I attended just 1 year of Christian school and it was very formative because it was such an intentional community. We lived in dorms, had a lot of fun but also had close supervision and close contact in discussion groups and mentoring groups. That made expressing my faith safe and encouraged.
I think the 2 things that stand out to me are that Henri’s Grandmother encouraged a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I attend a Lutheran church and I do not think this aspect of faith is encouraged enough. It is not enough to attend church and recite the creed, the Lords Prayer and whatever things are required. We need to push beyond what is expected and make ourselves available to what God is trying to tell us. This is where we hear the still small voice and get the confirmation that we ARE the beloved. Because of the Jesus I know, I can make it through times of questioning and doubts.
Also interesting is the discussion of the transition from the gold guilded goblet to the transparent glass. It tells me that Henri wasn’t afraid to drop the facade and become transparent. I think he valued knowing Jesus over his status as a Priest or any of the other offices he held. It smacks of a certain vulnerability he dared to face, and we are all the benefactors because of it. Thanks be to God!
Thanks for all your sharing – looking forward to the weeks to come!
The idea that in moving from the chalice to the glass cup Henri was allowing himself to be more “transparent” (and calling us to do the same) is powerful indeed. Thank you.
In Out of Solitude Henri wrote…”The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement… and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is the friend who cares.”
One day my son Andy who was only 8 went to visit Carl our neighbor who had just lost his wife the day before. When he came back I asked him what he said to Carl. He said: “nothing.” Well did Carl say anything to you? He said No. You were there for quite awhile son what did you do? He said with a tear still on his cheek: “You know Dad, Margaret was my friend too. All I did was help Carl cry too.”
When reading The cup book….this event came to mind and I now understood how God collects every tear and together we all drink in joy and grief but never alone.
My faith journey started out as a child in the Church of Christ, baptized, moved through Emmanuel Church (Episcopalian in Geneva, Switzerland–the only English speaking church we could go to), back in the States through a Methodist Church, a Unitarian-Universalist Church, finally to a ELCA Lutheran Church. Now my husband and I are still members of a Lutheran Church but I have been attending for two years now a healing mass on Tuesdays at a neighboring Catholic Church. I do not take communion but the priests bless me and also put the healing oil on my forehead. In all of this, I still find that there are many, many deep things I don’t know about what’s inside of myself and what is the cause of the difficulties in some of my most intimate relationships but take the greatest comfort in believing and putting my trust into the sacraments–for me the “new language” is a strong feeling that I always seem to have now that somehow I don’t have to be so bothered by all the questions I have but that there is a mysterious interchange of deep information between my body, mind and soul and the person/long line of persons who administer the sacraments. I am known and I know (actually I trust now that people administering Holy Sacraments also are prophetic with wisdom about Jesus leading us all forward–there is strength in the sacraments) and bit-by-bit everything is always going to be OK for me and others and actually the whole world. The new language is sacramental and learning that has been and is being the greatest call on my life.
From Bernadette
Hello,
I am from New England. I receive the daily meditation and noticed the book discussion. I have read, “The Return of the Prodigal Son” and loved it. It taught me that the parable isn’t just a lesson for the younger son. I have been in each of the roles at different times in my life. It was eye-opening for me.
I like the idea of reading another of his books and having a place to discuss it. This is the first time that I am joining your book discussion. I have participated in other book discussions at my local library.
I am active in my Church and try to live my faith everyday. I belong to a Bible study group where we have many great discussions.
Thank you for the opportunity to be part of this book discussion. .
Bernadette
My life has been a journey. Looking back, I didn’t always realize I was on this journey. Now, I embrace the journey. There are many events in my life which have shaped and brought me to where I am today.
I was adopted when I was less than a year old. My parents (not my birth parents) had always told me that I was special because I was adopted. The more I learn about Jesus and his love for me, the more I realize my parents were correct. I am special. I was wonderfully made by God and created in His image.
I have always had faith, but wasn’t always aware of my faith. When I was only 20 my father died from lung cancer. I believe this life event changed me in countless ways. I thought I had turned away from God, when I stopped going to church. When I reread my journal, from that time, years later, I realized that I hadn’t turned away from God, just the church. I also learned that life was precious and fleeting. I have tried to embrace every moment since that time. It is not always easy and I am not always able to do that, but I continue to try.
I have many, many wonderful examples of Godly people in my life. I seek to find God in everything I do. I want to drink from the cup. I want to embrace all that God has to offer me. Today, I will make a conscious effort to drink from the cup.
Like Nouwen, I also remember my ordination day as a day of great significance, a milestone in my life. I also had a lifelong dream to be ordained, but I was a girl who grew up in a denomination that doesn’t ordain women, so it seemed like an impossible dream, one that I set aside for many, many years.
Other milestones came and went: marriage, the births of my children. When I was finally ordained, it was not an event that changed me into a different person, but a day on which I was finally empowered to live more completely as the person I believe I was created to be. To serve as I was called to serve. The years that passed before were all preparation in a way, pointing to this.
I did feel a twinge of envy when I read about Henri’s little altar and vestments. I played church in our basement, with dolls and stuffed animals for a congregation using a repurposed set of toy dinnerware. Yes, a teacup can be a chalice, too. My vestment was a crib blanket with a hole.
And what I wondered is whether there are people I look at today and fail to see their full potential, to recognize their dreams and encourage them to pursue them.
Cathy, I read your post and smile with fond recollection of playing church (in secret) in my bedroom. A plastic cup was my chalice and candy wafers were Eucharist. A linen napkin was used as a corporal, my Sunday Missal was my guide. My play clothes were my only vestments.
I am happy that you were able to realize your calling to your full potential. I am sure you bless every life you touch.
Shine on!
Yes, the candy wafers! A friend gave me a roll of Necco wafers as an ordination present, and I keep them in my office now (with a sticky attached that says, “Do not eat these!”).
In reading what others are saying, I am feeling a sense of unity and the awkwardness I came in here with is being replaced with some peace. I still hesitate when I feel the tears coming. I remember a nun once telling me that tears cleanse the soul. I don’t doubt she is right, I’ve experienced the cleansing of tears many times in my life.
But things are different now. I am older and I am not the same person I was 7 years ago. I am saddened by the present and what the future holds and I fear only more sadness. I question how the next 10 years for me and if I will have to endure burying the one and only son I’ve ever had. I fear my spouse will walk out of me. I know my fears are real, and I have to keep myself together. Son has chronic illness and spouse has veered off into a different direction I never thought possible.
I am caught somewhere between my own person survival, letting go and seriously questioning if I can, in fact, “drink of the cup.”
Carol
Carol,
Know that within this small community there are people that hear your concerns and will keep you in prayer. And here is a prayer by Thomas Merton that means a great deal to me and may be helpful to you.
Thomas Merton’s Prayer – “I will not fear…”
My Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore, I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
Henri Nouwen on Thomas Merton
“I met him only once at the Abbey of Gethsemani in Kentucky. Yet thereafter, his person and work had such an impact on me that his sudden death stirred me as if it were the death of one of my closest friends. It therefore seems natural for me to write for others about the man who has inspired me most in recent years.” –From the book Encounters with Merton: Spiritual Reflections
Thank you for sharing this prayer, I love it. In my life, I relate the question of drinking the cup to being open to God’s will rather than my own. Where I struggle is in not always knowing what His will is for me when I am faced with a decision. I can only pray for knowledge of his will and the power to carry it out and hope that I receive the guidance. The prayer helps me to believe that I can trust that my desire to follow his will is enough and to trust that I will find my way.
Knowing God’s will for me.
My husband and I have been married for 25 years. When we are at a party or gathering and I want to go, I just look over at Ron and he knows me. He knows what my look means. I also know by his tone of voice, the way he laughs whether he really thought a joke was funny. The same goes with God’s will. We really have to KNOW God in order to know what he would want us to do. When I got no answer through prayer and time spent with my God, I have done this by reading His word, by spending time with others who are a Godly influence and asking advice of other Godly people. I hope this helps.
I’m not sure of your age, Marsha, but I have found this question lessens with age. You are in the will of God just by asking him; he will absolutely direct you. You will feel sick if you’re not living in accordance with your loving father. Hope this helps.
Thanks Marianne, “feeling sick” if I am not acting in line with his will is good for me to remember. The times I have felt that it was clear what I should do, I felt a peaceful reassurance, which I interpreted as God directing me. I have made it a practice when I am unsure what to do, to pause, pray and wait. Sometimes, waiting is the hardest.
I also remember times when I was willfully doing what I know was not God’s will for me and yes, I felt sick, very sick.
Ray, thank you so much for posting this prayer; it has always been one of my favorites, and I haven’t run across it in the last couple of years (when, incidentally, I could have used it)
Hello, everybody, I am sort of sneaking in the back door late, having finally decided I would make the time to do this for myself, then rushed to the library for the book. It’s one of Nouwen’s I haven’t read and I’m loving it. It is reminding me of one of many things I love about his work–simplicity, clarity, directness.
Barbara, like you I am older and, after 30 wonderful years of teaching literature and the bible as literature in independent secondary schools and small colleges, have the time and space now to be quiet. In my Forward Day by Day, an Episcopal daily reflections, there is a prayer which asks for “the gift of Holy Silence.”
I have so much to say just about “The Cup of Sorrow,” that I won’t even try it here. I keep thinking about my favorite Nouwen, a tiny volume called “The Path of Waiting.” It’s about being willing to be still, not running away, believing that “the thing you are waiting for is growing out of the ground on which you are standing.” It’s about not being afraid. I volunteer every week at an assisted living facility, where I lived for 8 months after a bad fall, leading a bible study, and at one point we noticed that every time Jesus is about to appear–annunciations and resurrections–an angel appears and says, “Do not be afraid.” The discussion about what that might mean was magnificent. These women are all in their nineties and I’ve watched them wake up to that amazing text.
Anyway, Nouwen and the cup of sorrow–the wine metaphor is intriguing to me; I am a recovering alcoholic (28 years in AA) and have never had any problem taking wine at communion. Some of my fellow drunks are horrified. This chapter makes me realize that the reason for that is that I am truly “holding” the cup, conscious of what I am drinking and why, unlike when I drank too much too often too unaware.
I have two favorites from this Part so far: the phrase “spiritual sinew” and the image of the statue on which the “right hand still holds the memory of the arrow that just left for the stars.” Body memory, spirit memory. That arrow hasn’t been loosed just once, it will be loosed over and over again forever.
Lots of punctuation sloppiness from an old English teacher. Sorry about that.
Carol, as a mother, my greatest fear is to lose a child! It haunts me. This past week I watched the news of the three Israeli boys and shuddered as well as wept. Then I watched the story of the Palestinian boy and sobbed. One of the Israeli mother’s spoke of this atrocity and her love and compassion were tangible, as was her pain.
How did Mary stand watching the unbelievable cruelty and hate inflicted on her son?
I consider my life to be a tapestry. When things are bad I am on the wrong side of the tapestry amidst all the tangled threads and it all seems a mess. The time will come when I will see the beautiful tapestry from the smooth side.
Throughout life I breath the breath of God…..Yahweh (breath in as you say the Yah and breath out as you say the Weh! God’s gift of the breath of life for all of us, especially when our cups appear to contain pain, fear and anguish. xxx
Hi Carol,
I just want to tell you that you are not alone. I know the hardest thing is to lose a child. I do not have that experience and don’t even have children but I think of my many nieces and nephews with children and pray our family does not have to feel this unerasable pain. I am sorry it has been visited upon you. I do have the experience of learning of a husband’s betrayal after his death and that left me at a great loss for “what to do” to get on with my life. I can look back now (7 years for me also) and see that I “held the cup” for a long time before I was ready to even take a sip. A wonderful Christian counselor helped me to hold that cup and look at it from various angles. Now I think I am holding a “different cup” for the new life in my 60’s and 70’s and of course I hope 80’s. Being of that age IS different. We need to trust that God has kept us alive for a reason. Study the cup to learn the reason.
Dear Carol,
I was drawn to pray for you when I first read your post several days ago. You have continued to be on my heart and in my prayers. I could feel your pain, confusion, and fear; all normal and God given emotions put oh so difficult to manage. I didn’t yet know what to say to you but was led this morning to share from my journal. It was from a day of many tears and grief from a place so deep I had no words. I am praying for you to feel the peace that surpasses understanding today. He sees you and loves you. You do not need to drink your cup alone; I am learning to let my community help me hold it at times. In His love, Kim
FYI: I can only imagine the agony from the tearing of one flesh when it is a child.
Father God,
Why does this hurt so much even though I know you are with me?
“Child, you were not built for death. You are not equipped to survive such loss without supernatural help. No, I created you for life. This pain is the cost of sin from long ago; it is not a weakness. You were designed for love and relationship, and there is no easy way through sorrow. The tearing of one flesh, I know, is excruciating. So keep looking at me, joy will return with the redemption of your loss, by my hand, and in my time. The promise is that your grief won’t last for an eternity. I sent my son to die and remove that sting. Death does not have the final say.”
It was interesting to read about Henri’s early life. I felt a connection with him, because although I grew up in a Baptist household, I also had parents who taught and encouraged my faith. Church was a big part of our lives. I also remember my grandmother talking with me about Jesus and reading me books about missionaries.
It seems that Henri’s choice to use the glasses instead of the gold chalice reflects part of his own spiritual journey. I’ve been on a spiritual journey as well and experienced getting to know different people and churches. I am now in the Episcopal church. The liturgy and the Eucharist are very meaningful to me. I am interested in learning more about Henri’s journey and his meditations on Can You Drink the Cup?
We are all seekers – peace and wisdom on the journey.
It seems to me it’s not about the Cup or what’s in it.
it is about how and who we share the cup with
It’s really about relationships between God and me and everyone else.
like Prayer – the power is not in the words or the length or anything…
The power of prayer is in the One who hears it. Simple as that
Truly not complicated… we just make it so …the evil one loves to confuse and make it this way so arguments can start and we lose sight of the true meaning of God’s gift to Henri and to all of us.
‘Can I drink the Cup’? My experience has been it’s absolutely necessary to hold the cup in turn, I join Christ in the Paschal Mystery. I understand the cup to be my authentic life. I lived a relatively unaware life for more than half my life. I developed coping skills to protect me from traumas and abandonment by trying to build a white picket fence that came tumbling down. Once my healing journey began I was wed to the cup – the cup of suffering – the cup of promise. I really like Henri’s vision of the new cup in the transition of his priesthood. I see that as conversion – an active spiritual journey. “Can we hold the cup…..” that is where the healing began – naming and acknowledging, facing the dark shadows and integrating all the light and dark (that’s a journey) – “Lift it up for others….” sharing our story – (not dumping it on others) but owning it, grieving it, giving it compassionate reverence – in doing this I can say I live life fully. In sharing myself, my wounds, my holy joy, I allow and empower others to be authentic. Today as I celebrate Communion with my community, I understand that each one of us are Eucharist to a starving world. We become who and what we receive – in turn share our very selves – our God within with others – I understand that to be Love. Cheers!
Hello Debbie,
I found your comment about seeing Nouwen’s ordination to the priesthood as his conversion to an active spiritual journey in the metaphor of the cup, insightful.
I was struck by the juxtaposition of Henri’s choice to use ‘ordinary’ glass chalices rather than a formal one of gold, and the fact that these were fabricated by glass-blower Simon Pearce, who also maintains a very well known local restaurant close to our current home. It brought back to mind our first meeting with Henri, who, in his slightly lisped message of excitement, made it know that thanks to Jesus, we have a true home with God, where our family can gather and be fed!
Like Nouwen I was raised in a loving Catholic family where we went to Mass and Communion every Sunday and holy days and fasted. I never met anyone that was divorced until after I graduated from a small Catholic college. I religiously prayed those Catholic rote prayers. Like Henri, my uncle was a priest but he lived far away. My parents were my chief mentors encouraging me to pray and study hard.
The big event that made me challenged my faith and world view was realizing I was gay when I was a child and not knowing why or any other gay folks. Eventually I realized that God was not going to make me straight no matter how many years I prayed for it. I did sense an answer from God, but not the one I wanted. It was that I would make a fine gay Catholic man. I am proud that eventually I came to grips with who I was, was able to help other LGBTQ Catholics by working with a group for eight years that met at the local Newman Center which provided us with opportunities for Mass and help in social justice seminars (which was a spiritually good time for me).
The major regret I have regarding my spiritual life is that when I was at high points in the past, I just didn’t take the next step because I was fearful, so my life stayed on a plateau. Looking back I can now see that God was asking me Can You Drink the Cup (CYDTC)? And my answer was always no.
Earlier this year, I decided I wanted to do the Spiritual Exercises hoping it would bring me closer to God in a different way. The retreat house application form was a bit intimidating because it was asking me about things I was not doing at that time (praying one-hour per day, keeping a spiritual journel, meeting with a spiritual director, & going on a silent retreat for either one week, one month or nine months). So I resolved to start to work on them on Ash Wed. since it was coming up. In addition, I told God I would try to get to Holy Eucharist Service everyday and do one other thing to seal the deal – so to speak. I told God I would give up my biggest sin cold turkey on Ash. Wed. (It was a sin I have confessed for years and been absolved from hundreds of times, but never really gave it up.) I took Catholic theology in college so I know that God doesn’t do deals and He loves us all unconditionally and it is impossible to make God happy because God is beyond any description we have of Him, but I guess it is just the New Yorker in me that likes to add something to the pot!
I told God I knew who I was now – old, gay, Episcopalian (and I really didn’t expect anything different from my past experiences). However, after the first ten days in Lent on this new program (which included going to confession monthly, spiritual reading, reflection), the first noticeable thing happened. I cried in church; I do not cry. That has never happened to me before in church. I am noticing a lot of things I never noticed before, have interesting dreams (sometimes the same ones when I don’t get in the first time), and other stuff. My time with my spiritual director and my confessor has been rewarding, but they are both in agreement (even though they do not know each other) about me being at the CYDTC stage again with something new I have been wrestling with the last month. Again fear has come up, but I told God I would do it even though I would rather not. (I might add that it has been 3 1/2 months without committing that particular big sin and at the end of May I got approved for the Spiritual Exercises which starts in the Fall.)
Peter, thank you for your openness and honesty. While contemplating the question about the chalice, being transparent and sharing the contents of our own life’s cup with others is what I felt the glass chalice was all about.
With you Peter~ blessings and Love, Kathy
Here are a few additional Introductions that were submitted after the June 29th post was closed. A warm welcome to…
Elisa
A quick hello to say I’m looking forward to this discussion group. I live in Michigan and have participated in a few of these discussions before, though most of the time I tend to just follow along. Everyone’s comments and insights have always been enlightening to me and I look forward to this summer’s read. My goal is to share a little bit more. I had read Henri’s Prodigal Son and was so touched by it a few years ago that I have sought out many of his books. This is a treasured space to share our thoughts about Henri’s writings and I am always blessed by it. God Bless all of you as we journey together.
Viviana
My name is Viviana, and I live in Argentina, the country Pope Francis was born. This will be my winter reading.
Everyday I wake up with Henri Nouwen´s daily meditation.
I´ve never before participated in an online meditation.
I was first introduced to Henri Nouwen when my Parish Priest Alejandro lend me The Wounded Healer. I also read The return of the Prodigal Son and The Inner Voice of Love after which I subscribed to the daily Meditation.
I hope I can keep up with you.
Thanks for sharing
Blessings
Barbara Blessing
Hello, I am from Western NY and have never done an online book discussion or any other online discussion. So….this is new to me and I am not sure yet how I feel about it. I am a retired homemaker who has raised two daughters. But….I love Nouwen! Have read him since his article in the National Catholic Reporter on intimacy; I believe in the late 60s? Maybe ’68? I get all your emails and that is how I found out about this discussion.
In the time period of 1974-78 when my husband was teaching at Mercyhurst College (now University), I took a course on prayer using Nouwen’s book With Open Hands and I have been a student and reader of his work ever since. I have read most all of his books and some more than once.
My two favorites are With Open Hands and the Genesee Diary, especially since I live not to far away from the Abbey of the Genesee and have been there several times to pray with the monks on a given Sunday. So….that book is close to my heart. And…because I began with With Open Hands, that is also near and dear to me.
My life is quite simple and reflective, just doing my everyday chores, errands, etc.
My husband is a semi-retired research scientist who goes in to work every day and enjoys what he is doing. So….I lead a more or less contemplative , quiet existence.
I do read a lot and use the computer, but am not on facebook or twitter. Not really interested in those sites. I do have an I phone and I love to google and find out things. I am very curious about a lot of things, especially what is happening in the world.
Not sure how much I will discuss, but I will enjoy your reflective questions, reading his book again and seeing other folks comments.
Blessings,
Barbara
Sally Barnes
I am so excited to be a part of this study. I am a teacher of autistic children and I am wondering if I drink the cup or try to avoid the pain. Thank you for having this study to allow me to explore my own life.
Greta
This is my 3rd Henri Nouwen on-line study. I was introduced to his books 3 years ago. My first book was Show Me the Way, daily Lenten devotionals. I have used it every year since then during Lent.
Elizabeth, in response to Barbara Blessing
I love that you have used Heni’s work is different ways You have been blessed with opportunities to use his work in such a way. I have a book club and also have given many people Henri’s work but no one is so blessed as I am by his work. I wish I could meet with others to discuss in a deeper way. God bless you.
Good Afternoon! I’m a bit tardy in my response to sign in for this discussion! I’m a pastor on medical leaf and have not been able to get a book, yet in hearing the responses of the first week would like to listen in and if you wish to hear from me, I can respond as time and energy avail themselves!
Short Bio:
Civil Engineer field for three and half years, when I finally responded to the Lord’s call upon my life! I attended Asbury In Wilmore KY, 1982 – 1986. What makes my story different from most is 10 before graduation, Pat, wife, Tricia, 2 yr old daughter and I were in a head on wreck that altered the course of our lives. Now 28 years after this life alerting wreck, out of formal leadership of the church, yet as active as I’m able, praise God for the opportunity to interact via the internet as never before and quite excited.
This is all for now… yet willing to share as able!
In service to the Lord, always,
Tom Michalko
“…naïve… well-protected… surrounded by thick hedges… innocent… isolated… without being fully aware… cautiously… never encountered… no idea… unknown…kept away from me…. “ Such words would also describe my early life and faith. While I realize the value of my heritage, and there is so much to be thankful for, I am often so frustrated and uncertain that my attitude is that of scorn and resentment instead. Increasingly disillusioned and yet bound by certain ways of thinking and the persistent residue of a worldview so deeply ingrained, I feel unsteady, insecure, and vulnerable. I am learning a new way of being human, and I am so curious as to the new language Henri Nouwen speaks of. For the former language and forms no longer provide adequate expression.
I really appreciate how Henri Nouwen affirms the garden of his youth as beautiful, and specifically lists many of the “invaluable gifts” he has received that have impacted the rest of his life. He reminds me that without the golden chalice given to him nearly 40 years earlier, the glass cups, representing this new way of being, would not mean as much to him as they do.
As I read, I am reminded of the many milestones in my life and the purity of those moments. I am reminded of naiveity, trust and eagerness that filled my spirit.
I am reminded of my grandmother. She never stopped praying despite the hardships she faced daily.
I am challenged by this question because I am afraid.
For me, the “new language” is a way thru life’s hardships.
Carol
it is comforting to know that God is praying for all of us too. praying that we follow Ps 23…I am the good shepherd you have everything you need,,,,so when you walk thru the valley of darkness – don’t stay – don’t rent a room – don’t be Lot’s wife – keep your eyes forward on me or you may be like a sinking Peter in an ocean of grief , bitterness and despair. Just call out my name and I’ll be there. In prayer one night feeling down and out God asked me this question: Tom, if you were to arrive late for your plane’s departure would they leave without you? ….and he said I would never leave you nor never abandoned you.
In the introduction, Henri Nouwen writes “[c]an you drink the cup? . . . Can you taste all the sorrows and joys? Can you live your life to the full whatever it will bring?”
I am just about ready to leave for morning Mass at our local parish. I am scheduled to be a lector, and will be playing my trombone in the choir loft accompanying the choir. I will go down for Communion, and today when I receive the Body of Christ and move on to the cup holding the Blood of Christ. I will be thinking about these questions.
Quite honestly, I don’t know if I can drink the cup as described by Henri Nouwen. I want to do so, and I have a desire to do so, but to “live your life to the full whatever it will bring” is a very tall order. I am 55 years old now. I have had ups and downs like everyone. I don’t know that I have done all that great of a job thus far in living my life to the full regardless of what was happening at the moment. I think I am beginning to see why I have started reading this book on more than one occasion and have put it aside. No doubt this will be good for me to finally go through the book.
So, do I want to drink the cup? Yes, I have that desire. But at the same time, a fear that I will be unable to do so when the time comes. I realize I may sound somewhat negative or cynical, and that is certainly not my intention. I am simply trying to face my own reality, and how I may deal with the future, whatever it may hold.
Charles when you say you have not always been able to “live your life to the full whatever it will bring”, to me you don’t sound negative, you sound honest.
Sometimes we are hit with such pain we, as Henri says, cannot even value life.
I have felt that on a personal level after massive losses, and frequently feel it on the macro level as I look at the hell realm our world has become.
But perhaps it’s a question of how we define “full.” In the bleakest times, when life seemed to hold no value, I have never stopped praying, or asking God what he wants me to learn, or how I can best serve, or how I can please Him. I think St John of the Cross might say we can live life to the full even in a Dark Night.
At least God doesn’t need to wait for is to be perfect in order for Him to love us.
So what’s in your cup that you fear…? Join the rest of us and all of Jesus’ disciple too. However when the time comes will you be a Peter or a Judas. To accept the cup is to accept forgiveness as well. To love greatly in all things.
Dear Charles, I do not think that you are sounding negative at all. You sound couragious and Faith filled~ “I am simply trying to face my own reality, and how I may deal with the future, whatever it may hold.” You trust in a Loving God and you are seeking. All will be well!~ Kathy
July 6, 2014, it is important to me to note the date, this is because I find myself un-believing as to the time passing. I am going to be 71 next week. My Cup of Life has been full, overflowing. The wine has been mostly good and sweet but sometimes dry and sour. Jesus knew His suffering, we trust that when the suffering comes we can look at the cup and say, help me Jesus. Even if we know the suffering, because of past experiences, we can hold on and ask God for help. We know that our suffering is no greater than what Jesus suffered for our redemption from our sins.
Elizabeth, I hear you on the time passing so quickly. I am 55 now, and 71 is just around the corner. It seems like only yesterday I was 25. Last year my Dad died, and my Mom now lives with us. She turns 80 next month. I would look at my folks, and it was as if I did not know them. Time is fleeting. On that note, Happy Birthday in advance! Henri Nouwen though birthdays were special, and we should celebrate. Henri Nouwen would say, that is the day, Elizabeth, that God gave you as a gift to the rest of us. So we have reason to celebrate!
Thanks Elizabeth and Charles for your honest feelings about aging. Turning 60 over a year ago was a milestone event for me. At the time I was depressed and didn’t want to tell anyone I was 60 because I still felt (most of the time) like I was in my thirties, especially if I did only a drive-by glance in the mirror. To me the age of 60 was a demarcation between young and old and I had crossed that line. It frightened me to realize that I no longer had numberless days ahead of me. Now I am slowly beginning to realize that it is also a time for celebration because God has given me the gift of time to continue to learn and grow.
It is difficult for me to come to terms with my own aging. This has brought to me a renewed searching for God in my life and how that looks as I move forward. Thank-you for the chance to explore this with others.
I have been the last 10 years in sorrow and when I realized that this is no way to live I ask God to bring me out of the misery. It is all still there but now I don’t spent my time sad, I want to be happy. A few weeks ago our parish buried a lovely 40 year old. She had a loving husband and 2 boys. She knew she was dying but she would laugh and be so silly; the day before she passed they went on a picnic and had a great time. Her family will remember the good times because she made them that way. We don’t know when we will die but we do know how to make each day joyful.
thank you for sharing Elizabeth~ sorry for your pain~ so agree with your words~”we do know how to make each day joyful.” with our Mysterious, Amazing Triune God all things are possible- even Joy!
THANK YOU ELIZABETH…. your post helped me a lot.
We had a “joyful” day here — nothing extra special but under circumstances, realize it is gift…