Reading: Imperatives 1 through 16 (pages 3 to 25)
It was so wonderful to see all your introductions last week – again, a very warm welcome to each of you! We are excited to begin our first full week of exploring the text.
As we saw through last week’s readings (Introduction) the journey from anguish to freedom is indeed a journey. A spiritual battle. Henri wisely choose not to fight this battle alone, but rather with the tiny bit of strength he had in him, he put himself at the feet of God, and clung to God’s Word of truth. By doing this he chose not death but life, and through the help of his caring and attentive guides, each day he chose very small steps towards life.
Whether you are in a place of crisis, or whether you are in a calm place but want to daily take steps towards life in Christ, you are invited to engage the journey as Henri did. This group is here to listen, encourage and support.
You are free to share whatever comes up for you in the readings. Below we offer you a process you might follow, to help you explore the readings and share your journey with the group.
- Briefly look over the 16 imperatives assigned to this week (1 through 16), either by simply reading the title or by lightly skimming the text. Don’t feel you need to read them all. Remember Henri’s advice on p xxi…too much salt can spoil a meal!
- Select a few (perhaps 2 or 3) imperatives that stand out to you, and read them thoroughly, perhaps several times.
- Consider:
- The thought or concept that stands out to you
- How does it relates to your personal experience? Look at your experience with the benefit of Henri’s insight. Does that help you to see things differently or to know yourself better?
- What is God speaking to your heart? What do the Scriptures say?*
- How you will respond? Carefully (prayerfully) consider how your heart responds to the insights gained during your reflection. Are there small steps you can take to incorporate these insights and to move toward spiritual freedom in your life? Perhaps you would like to write your own Spiritual Imperative.
- Pray!
- Please share with the group to the degree you are comfortable
* Although in this text we don’t see Henri referencing specific chapters and verses of Scripture, we do know that he loved the Scriptures and looked to them for truth. Indeed, you can see Scriptural truths throughout many of the imperatives. We encourage you to seek out for yourself, or perhaps on behalf of others in the group, the Scriptural truths we can and must cling to on our journeys.
Very much looking forward to hearing from each of you!
Ray and Brynn
Father Henri’s writing so normalize my struggles and heart breaks. Each one brings me to repent of my selfish and self center needs. The needs are necessary….the way I wrap myself around them is full of disorientation.
Understanding the limitations of others and the necessary boundaries and limitations in my own life. At this time in my life it is necessary to “listen” to my own limitations.
Suffer through wishing I could bring joy to suffering while seeing our Lord Jesus remain true to His promise, “I will never leave or forsake you.” as my own limits hinder me from being able to make such a promise. It is His place and not mine. So in my life as well and the longing belongs to Him. (Father Nouwen’s writings are my instruction book).
This quiet and lonely place is becoming a safety to me. For myself as well as knowing my loved ones (adult children) are so loved and cared for in His love and provided for in His care.
I think the forever space where another is so longed for will not be filled in this side of eternity. Since I am about thirty years into the process I want to say the joy our Lord Jesus has brought me is through an orphanage/hospital in Romania. The young ones I first came to know are now range in age from twenty to thirty years. Some living in various parts of the world; others confined to a room in hospital. I think each one of these friends is a true gift from God. I hope for more.
I used a $20 Christmas gift to buy the Inner Voice when the book was fairly new (1998). A friend had introduced me to Henri through a tape he recorded about the Kingdom of God. Nouwen said that this “kingdom” is the Life of the Loving Relationship which we have been lifted into by the Christ Event. That was so powerful to me that I made a formula: LLR=S+C x CE based on Matthew’s text, “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and all other things shall be given you as well.” I understood Henri teaching that The Life of the Loving Relationship is achieved by Solitude plus Community, always in the context of the life, death and ressurection of Jesus (the Christ Event). Jesus came to “lift us up” into the same relationship He had with His Father…a Relationship of “listening,” which is called the Holy Spirit. Sorry to ramble, but that tape and concept led me to buy not only The Inner Voice of Love, but also a whole library of Nouwen’s works! I am thrilled that I can reread The Inner Voice again…and in community, too! The imperatives, Crying Inward and Remaining Attentive spoke to me. They both speak to my self-doubt, a very crippling “disease.” Henri never ceases to show me both hope and new life!
You have given me much to ponder–as Poirot, Agatha Christi’s detective says (who I am “hooked on” similarly as to Nouwen) much for my little gray cells to consider!
I was struck by Trust in the Inner Voice and challenged as to whether I do want to be converted and transformed.I think I am clinging to my old ways of life with one hand while desperately seeking help to enable me to be transformed. There is an inner struggle, and now I realise that before I can go any further I have to ask myself “do I really want to be transformed?” or am I just captivated by the romance of change and transformation, and not by the reality of what that means??
Beautifully articulated. You are not alone in that. I think it changes for me the more I am learning from Nouwen that this process is a daily discipline. His vision of what life will be like after transformation is what keeps me coming back. So, maybe it’s a blend of romance, listening, and doing….
I am reminded of St. Augustine’s prayer: “God grant me chastity but not yet.”
The imperative that touched me most was the one on Relying on our Spiritual Guides.
When I truly abandon myself to the will of God in difficult times, God seems to always send such a guide in the presence of another person. Though sometimes, I think these “guides” are actually angels in disguise. Now, I hope that doesn’t sound to sentimental. And, if you met these guides, they were far from glorious angels batting their golden wings over me. Instead they were just vulnerable people just like me. But at the same time they were so mysteriously fun.
One time on a birthday when I was depressed I decided to force myself out and with that grace of abandonment I picked up a hitchhiker. He was a young man with a broken bike and some cuts and bruises. He was hitchhiking in the oddest places in order to get a ride. I hesitated then thought what the heck! Why not give him a ride. It turns out he was hit by a car while biking. I offered to take him to the hospital, but he refused. Since his bruises were not life threatening, I didn’t push the issue but instead asked him where he was heading. It turned out he was off to see a girlfriend at a local college. Since she was not out of class for a few hours I invited him to go to a local arts festival that was being held near the college. We shared a meal and then I noticed his shoes were literally falling apart. They had holes and the soles were falling off. So, we went across the street and I bought him a pair of boots that he liked. I made sure he was off safely to the meeting with his girlfriend, and then I drove home realizing that God sent this guide to me to take me out of my self pity on my birthday and share a meal and a pair of shoes with an angel disguised as a hurt boy with a broken bike. Since then these guides and messengers have come to me in need many times. That is, if I truly abandon myself to God. I just hope that at least a few times I too was such a messenger to someone else.
Sorry this was so long. I just hope by writing it I can persuade perhaps one person when in need, to truly abandon yourself to Christ….. Then just wait for the messenger or spiritual guide. But be careful, it will be the most unlikely person. God has that kind of humor.
John…thank you for sharing. Your post made me smile as I too am a “believer”. No one can convince me that God does not send us these angels in disguise…I have had several encounters like the one you describe! I’ll give you one of my examples:
I was raised in what can only be described as a chaotic, unpredictable, and emotionally charged environment by 2 alcoholic parents. The one person in my childhood who loved me totally and unconditionally was my maternal grandmother who lived with us and helped to raise me and my siblings. She was a victim of elder abuse by my mother, which I did not realize/recognize at the time….I was a kid and just accepted this. I look back on my interactions with my “nana” and I struggle with guilt and shame that I did not appreciate her..indeed I was somewhat of a brat and it was only later on in my life that I came to a full realization of how important she was in providing some sense of sanity in my home and how much she loved me and my brother and sister.
Recently I was overcome with an incredible sadness about this and I was spending quite a bit of time “talking” with my Nana and asking her forgiveness. I missed her terribly and wished that I could see her and thank her for all she had done for me. I was overcome with guilt and could not stop crying about this. One morning, on a whim, I had the day off from work and decided to go to 9am mass. When it came time to offer each other a “sign of peace” I turned around and there was a little old, Italian grandmother who looked uncannily like my Nana. She took my hands and looked me right in the eyes and said “You are a good and kind person”. I never saw her again even though I attended that mass several times after that. This was exactly the “sign of peace” that I needed and God in His grace provided it through this sweet little lady that I can only describe as an angel.
I believe that God sends us these angels/spiritual guides more often than we realize…if only we would have eyes to see them!
Peace…we are all wounded healers
Diane
Diane,
Thanks for sharing your beautiful story about your nana. I smiled and felt wonderful where you shared the part where you turned for the offering of peace and sure enough there was nana. I really believe God sent you a greeting from nana.
Yes. I also believe in these happenings. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, John. I greet your story with tears of recognition. I have found the same phenomenon. When we abandon ourselves to Christ, and travel the Emmaeus road of our pain, we open ourselves to the Encounter. And the humour.
I would bless your journeys in the future, but it seems that Someone got there before me.
And so I will just say thanks.
Stuart thanks. I accept your blessing and the blessing of the Advent Christ for all of us here in this book discussion group.
Thank you for sharing John. Such a nice, sharing experience! God Bless you and I believe it was an angel sent to you from God. You were truly touched by an angel.
Good evening. I am new to the discussion group, finding the courage to post something.
These are the phrases that caught my eye:
*Conversion is certainly not something you can bring about yourself. It is not a question of willpower. You have to trust the inner voice that shows the way. You know that inner voice.
*You feel a strange sadness. An enormous loneliness emerges, but you are not frightened. You feel vulnerable but safe at the same time. Jesus is where you are, and you can trust that he will show you the next step.
*Trust is so hard, since you have nothing to fall back on. Still, trust is what is essential. The new country is where you are called to go, and the only way to go there is naked and vulnerable.
———–
I find myself drawn again and again to Nouwen’s words. His journey through the dark night of the soul and his willingness to bare his heart and soul on the page have given me much direction in the past few years, especially when walking through my own dark night. The themes of surrender, emptiness, trust, sadness, loneliness and the tension of such things in the midst of deep joy and love, continue to guide me on this journey of conversion. In the past I’ve tried to will myself to change…a sort of physical, emotional and spiritual pummeling which left me elated when there was “success” and eventually, and always defeated because I could never live up to whatever ideal I’d set before myself. Inch by inch, I’ve come to embody Nouwen’s words that conversion is not something to be willed. It is a transformation that occurs ever so slowly and “all that is asked” is to surrender to Divine Love—no small task. Surrender requires being vulnerable, standing naked before God and myself—no props, no trying harder, no excuses. Divine Love just loves and transforms as Love sees fit.
Transformation means just that—I am transformed. Changed. Converted. There are moments of “Yes, this is it” accompanied by a sense of calm and peace. There are other moments when the inner voice of Love gets drowned out by the voices of fear and shame. These twin voices like to keep me captive and stuck in the muck and mire…and then the inevitable urge to “try harder or give up completely” kicks in big time.
Ever so slowly, I learn to listen to Christ’s inner voice of love that leads me closer and closer to the flame of Love. A purifying flame that leads to a giving up, a letting go and a surrender to the One who loves me more than I could ever imagine.
Hello everyone! Wow! There is so many responses to the first week, nice to read everyone’s point of view. So interesting. I would like to say God bless Henri’s heart. It seems that he was so heart-broken and devastated that his writings became deep, spiritual and healing at this particular painful time in his life. I find comfort in his brokeness because that is the place I have lived in as well. We all have our different reasons for being broken, devastated and with feelings like we are going to die. In all the chapters, and yes, I did read them all because they were all speaking to my heart, I found Henri’s observations pretty much the same as mine i.e. stay out of the world.
I started seeing the world as a place of irritation and sadness. I started seeing that when I was in prayer or even after prayer, I was calm and at peace with myself and the world around me. I felt that I didn’t belong here anymore, even to the point of wishing for death. Not in the way of sadness, but in a way to be with God and Jesus forevermore. I know what is waiting for me and I didn’t feel like living here anymore. We are told, as Catholics, that this place is not our home, we are pilgrims here and just on our journey home. What I asked God was “Why?” Why do I have to go through this horrible world and all it’s frightening wars, killings, persecutions? Why??? I just want to come home and be with you, Jesus, Mary and all the saints. I guess I was whining and complaining because I have been staying in prayer more and more.
The road is easier with God and I struggle at times to keep Him with me in all that I do and say. But, I’m still just a sinner saved by grace and as I continue to sin and act rebellious, at times, I feel His presence stronger and stronger as I journey home. My God is an awesome God! He continues to love me and show me His love on a broader and grander scale than ever before. He loves us all this way, we just have to let Him.
Welcome Brenda and thank you for your sharing.
I’m Catholic too but I have slightly different take on our earthly existence–the world created by our loving God. As we read in Genesis, “God looked at everything he had made, and he found it very good.” (Gen 1:31) Our God gave our first parents free will and through their choice to turn away from God, sin entered the world. But the goodness of God’s creation remained, albeit in a sinful and fallen world. But in the fullness of time, “God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life.” (John 3:16)
Think about that; God so loved the world that he created (and mankind abused) that he sent Jesus reconcile humanity and open the gates of heave–and that is the world that we are blessed to live in, flawed though it may be. Jesus and then the Apostles went throughout Galilee, Judea, and (eventually) to the entire world preaching that the kingdom of God is at hand–and telling and showing us how to build up that kingdom. (e.g., Golden Rule, Great Commandment, Beatitudes, “You did it to me”-Matt 25:40). As I see it, while we know our earthly existence is not our final home, Jesus told his disciples, and though them all of us, that while we are on our earthly journey we are called to spread the Gospel (“the Good News”) that Jesus is alive and to do what we can for the “least of these” to build up God’s kingdom here on earth.
Is it a struggle living in our sinful fallen state in world filled with great difficulty? Certainly. Did Jesus promise that he would send us his Holy Spirit to be with us as we seek to follow the will of the Father? Absolutely. For me, one instrument chosen by the Holy Spirit is the writing of Henri Nouwen and it is a blessing to share his words with this wonderful community.
Peace and all good.
Ray
I’m Catholic too but I have slightly different take on our earthly existence also and were God is… I have come to know… The Divine Will is best heard and understood inside of a life narrative, experience. It does not fall prefabricated from the heavens. My willingness to be open to “conscious contact with God” and to creatively work with the hand that life, sin and circumstance have dealt me, is my deepest prayer and truest obedience to God … here on this earth, held in Christ Love
I am coming late to introductions. I am an Episcopalian with a Catholic upbringing and Jesuit leanings, a mother of two teens, a North Carolinian, and a huge Nouwen geek. Inner Voice was the first Nouwen I ever read — 8 advents ago– when it was gifted to me by a wise spiritual advisor when I was in a time of crisis very similar to Henri’s impetus for this reflection. I don’t think any reading will ever be as difficult and beautiful and transformative for me as that first one was, but I have read it again every year since and am always amazed at the new insights this slim volume continues to yield. I am grateful to be reading it in this community this Advent. (I have been a lurker in other book discussions here but never a participant.)
In re-reading the first imperatives this last week, I was reminded of Psalm 16 — that the Lord lays for us pleasant boundaries if we use them, that only in the Lord can be our true comfort. This Psalm has been a touchstone for me the last year but I hadn’t connected it with Inner Voice until now. So for right now I leave with just a few verses of this gorgeous psalm:
Psalm 16:5-9
The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; I have a goodly heritage.
I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me.
I keep the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.
Therefore my heart is glad, and my soul rejoices; my body also rests secure.
Thank you, Carolyn, for making this connection and sharing this Psalm – a strong, solid encouragement!
Carolyn, I love this psalm too. Which translation are you using? I have treasured the NRSV “My boundaries enclose a good and pleasant land,” but am loving the “boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places” version.
Molly, I am also using the NRSV — https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2016&version=NRSV
But I do like reading several translations so maybe I will circle back on this Psalm to a few others.. And now also ponder why ours NSRVs have different translations! Odd.
I misremembered! The Daily Office from the Mission St. Clare app must use another translation I only assumed that they used NRSV. When I checked my Bible, it matched yours!
“Understanding the Limitations of Others”
This writing pierces my heart every time I read it. I know that this has everything to do with the convicting work of the Holy Spirit informing my heart that I have an opportunity to choose to live free from my fear of rejection. As Henri conveyed, I often listen to those who seem to reject me as they ARE speaking about me, rather than recognizing their poverty in the face of my needs and desires.
Moving forward, I am committed to pressing into the tension when the fear of rejection comes up within me. I know that God will be with me in those moments and meet my needs, as often as needed.
Hi Matt. I just wanted you to know that we all struggle with these feelings of rejection and abandonment. Just know that we are all in this together and praying for each other. God Bless!
Yes yes…moving into the tension, rather than retreating to some illusion of security. I think I understand this, Matt.
I am finding the discipline in prayer, daily Rosary (Scriptural) and the prayers for the 33 Day Consecration to the Blessed Mother are giving me a path that is a very satisfying way to be in the presence of God. I feel very happy and content. I feel safe and peaceful.
I am 84, but want to continue my learning about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. I believe we need to continue learning about our faith until we leave this earth. I’m enjoying this book very much and am grateful for this opportunity to witness to my deep faith in Christ. Thank you.
Thanks Adele for sharing. I am a wee bit younger than you and I appreciate your sentiment that we older ones still need to grow in God’s grace.
Happy Advent everyone. I am a Daughter of St Paul who loves Henri Nouwen for I too am a lover and seeker of God through beauty and image. And discovered Henri in my own brokenness and have been an avid reader of his spirituality for decades. I happened upon the daily newsletter and signed up and thus found out about this Advent Book sharing and was elated . I never had the “grace” to have met Henri in person but I feel I know him through his writings and the many hours I have spent with him in some of the dark periods of my life when I have found solace in his writings. Thanks you for making this Advent even more beautiful by making this sharing happen. God bless.
The imperatives that God impressed upon my heart were 6 and 9: Always come back to the solid place and Come Home. I found it interesting that both contained the word, “come”, not “go”, because I’ve gone in search for what I thought would fulfill me, or in search for the magic thing that would make me feel whole. I have to choose to believe that I am loved by God even when I’m not feeling it, and that His love is enough. I must cling to the two realities: God has promised that I will receive the love I’ve been searching for and He is faithful to that promise. I am reminded of the lyrics of the song, Softly and tenderly Jesus is calling, calling for me to come home. Blessings to you all!
Wow…it will take me the rest of the year to read all of these posts! So much humility, vulnerability and wisdom here. In the first section, I chose 3.
Trust the Inner voice: I have always been an intuitive person, seeing something and staring down that path…later reading some instruction info that confirms that I had the right idea. I experienced a life-changing revelation 2 years ago and have been trying to work my way through the trauma and crisis it caused in my everyday life. I have had to repeatedly repent of going my own way…not stopping AND I MEAN STOPPING, in order to listen deeply to the Holy Spirit before I say or do anything. This first imperative will be alive to me for a very long while…lifetime!
#2Trust the place of unity: I believe and choose to walk the way that will lead to my being able to have compassion for the me that is broken. There is a God-centered ‘me’ that I need to nurture; this book is the map I can use for right now.
#3 Understanding the limitations of others: I re-wrote as a more ‘positive’ action for me….extend grace and compassion. First toward myself and I am actively pursuing people and place to walk me through that journey.
It is good to be with all of you. It is good to have a place to write down my goals.
I will be praying to the God who knows all our innermost thoughts even though I am unable to read the details of everyone’s circumstances.
Linda
Linda, I relate to your post. I also am seeking to stop, and listen before I do and say anything. Hope you share how that goes for you.
Understanding the limitations of others
“You keep listening to those who seem to reject you. But they never speak about you. They speak about their own limitations. They confess their poverty in the face of your needs and desires. They simply ask for your compassion.”
It is my great hope to learn this lesson in this life. Again and again it comes. I recognize it as once now, observe it, pray that it will wash through me quickly, most often wrestle with it at length, long for peace to return, and wonder if I will ever make progress.
But they never speak about you.
Amen. And so I long to be listener and find one who will listen. I long to listen and so say I am thankful you are in my life….even for a moment. Still my own longing to have my heart heard leaves me short of this desire.
First, my sincerest apologies. I knew this book study was on the horizon, and all of a sudden, it is not only here, but I missed the introductory week! Well, yesterday I bought a copy for Kindle, and read this week’s readings last night so I could at least comment for the first week, albeit at the eleventh hour.
In any event, I have read with interest the other comments. I like the format here, finding the imperatives that apply to us. I found one that applied in the past when I was going through some life changing circumstances, and interestingly, one that applies today when the world looks much better, at least from my perspective.
At age forty, after building a career, home, etc., all came crashing down, and I lost everything, and everybody. It was rather disconcerting. The imperative “Trust in the Place of Unity” really struck home as at the time all seemed hopeless, but somehow, at some point, I knew all was not only going to be well, but all was well. I did not know where things were going, but the realization eventually sunk in that things were moving towards a better place, but the movement was no longer an outward movement towards others and the world, but an inward movement towards myself, deep within my interior, and for the first time I learned who I was, and made peace with myself.
Now, at fifty-seven (gee, where does the time go!??) I am fifteen years into my second career and life has been much better. But one big reason why things are better is my modus operandi this time around. The imperative “Keep living Where God is” now does me well. Although far from perfect, I try to keep my life now centered on God, and not on my own personal ego. Having God at the center of one’s existence makes life much more fruitful, productive, and peaceful. At least now I have faith and trust in the future. Again, I am far from perfect, and have a lot to work on, but the movement is in a positive direction.
Thank you, Charles.
Charles ,thank you . looks like a redemptive journey grounded in humility.a modus operandi i commend you for!!
It is the Saturday after Thanksgiving here in San Diego California which is where I live.
I have been touched by all the sharing to date. I am a 62 year old guy married for over 30 years with 3 children and 2 grandchildren. Currently all is well with life and relationships, but like most of us, there have been the ups and downs that come with life.
One imperative I have clung to over my years has been, “Always come back to the Solid Place” I always need to remember that “God loves me, and God’s love is enough.”
How can I expound upon that? I cannot. I look forward to reading and sharing with all of you over the next 4 weeks.
Trust in the place of unity struck me. Should we till the soil of our soul? Our humanity allows us to live amid our emotions and feelings. Again in our humanity we will respond with loneliness, jealousy, anger, resentment, and rage. Henri is not denying this place but is suggesting our spiritual longing is in another place.the new place is our soul. the core of our being.from this place you can feel, think, and act truthfully. Our true self!!this is the place where God dwells and holds us. How comforting. Trust that God of life wants to embrace us and give us true safety.We are home. our fear is replaced with love. Our humanity meets our divinity. We are united. I really liked how Henri linked this to the incarnation.the word becomes flesh, and thus a new place is made where all of us and all of God can dwell. When you find that unity, we are truly free. Free to love unconditionally. Free to live only with compassionate eyes. We are all the body of Christ. we have hope and we are grateful.should we choose to till the soil of our soul? Absolutely!!!
Well, I could not pass up responding to another Charles! We must stick together. Oddly enough, we chose the same imperative. I have to agree with all you said. That place of unity is within, and there is where we find ourselves, and meet God. Until we do so, we will not be at peace, ala St. Augustine. Thanks Charles!
The year was 2000, when first “The Inner Voice of Love” began my journey in recovery. A truly dark night of the soul, when eventually, all aspects of my life came under scrutiny….for whatever reasons, I am so grateful for Nouwen’s honesty, courage and faith in print, words serving as a personal guide given me by my God of love.
Reading Imperative 7: helped me then, helps me now – “persons can feel so overwhelmed by your needs that they are practically forced to leave you for their own survival.” I have been on both sides, as needy and being needed……setting healthy boundaries, moving alongside others in our “freedom-bound” journeys.
Grateful for continued insight…..joining in……..
This past week. I chose five selections but will just share my reflections on “Bring your Body Home” on page 19. Quoting from the passage:
“When you do not fully own your own body, you can not claim it for eternal life.”
“How then do you bring your body home? By letting it participate in your deepest desire to receive and offer love. Your body needs to be held and to hold, to be touched and to touch. None of these needs is to be despised, denied, or repressed. But you have to keep searching for your body’s deeper need, the need for genuine love. Every time you are able to go beyond the body’s superficial desires for love, you are bring your body home and moving toward integration and unity.”
“God’s Spirit was united with the human spirit, and the human body became the temple destined to be lifted up into the intimacy of God through the Resurrection. Every human body has been given a new hope, of belonging eternally to the God who created it. Thanks to the Incarnation, you can bring your body home.”
I’m still trying to make peace with my body – part of my struggle has been with my sexuality and I am still on the journey. It is important for me to continue to reconnect with my body because I’ve disassociated from it for a good part of my life. There is so much hope in this selection. I believe one of the keys for me is to remember that Jesus took on flesh, came like we did as a babe, honored what the Father has planned for him to do, and paid for my sins with his own body. O Lord, help me to care for, enjoy, and connect with my body. Above may I respect my body in order to bring Him glory.
Dear Catherine,
I would recommend trying a mind-body-spirit practice such as yoga or Nia. The Nia white belt training transformed my attitude toward myself and my body.
I was interested in Henri’s use of the word ‘props’ in the two imperatives relating to the pleasing of others and trusting my best intuitions. The word ‘prop’ can represent something that holds me up or supports me; similarly, it can be something that I lean or rely on, depend on even, for my identity and security – the latter being more my experience.
I can identify with the sense that something within me is in the ‘process of dying whilst at the same time something new is being birthed’; I have to trust that this new thing is not something to fear, but something which when embraced will reveal something new about who I am in Christ and have significant implications for my interactions with God and with others.
I really liked the notion of the old stage props being ‘slowly rolled away’, the faded scenes of life, that which I have relied upon time and again for identity, credibility and security, that which has worked for me in the past, gradually being replaced. The scenes are changing; I wonder what will replace them and am excited about the possibilities.
Henri wrote about the dangers of worrying about past experiences whilst at the same time considering all of the potential future options and opportunities that might be afforded to me.
In the same way that ‘…today has enough troubles of its own…’ I want to try and be more ‘present’ to those who are a part of my life right now. Instead of waiting for the ‘right’ people to come along, the ‘right’ friends, the ‘right’ circumstances, I pray that God will help me to see more clearly the gifts that are offered to me even when they are from those who I would least expect them.
Keep living where God is. I understand this at one level. I’ve got to leave that old self behind, the one that returns to that old country again and again. Got to. Must do.
But do I take this also to mean that I can be where He is not? Psalms 139 reads differently, a chapter I have found mysterious and comforting. It says I cannot remove myself from His presence, despite my neglect. Isn’t that the abyss where God in Jesus could only go, did go, to close it for us? Could my deep sense of His absence be a sure sign of His presence pursuing me? When He sighed, “I thirst”, could His greatest thirst be for me? Oh God, how can it be?
I find this book, in particular, interesting because I have been wrestling with the difference between the transformative power of God as compared to psychotherapy. I don’t mean in anyway to offend anyone by this comparison. I had many years of therapy and they indeed were helpful, but it did not bring the same insight or curative power of God. Henri is painfully honest about his lost ness and his despair can be overwhelming. I could easily see someone else going the route of therapy and antidepressants – but would that person come out of it at the same place as Henri did ? I think not. I’ve thought a lot about spiritual transformation as being a means to authentic emotional maturity, and I think this is shown in Henri’s journey. I do believe God brings a curative power that can heal our deep woundedness. It is a uniquely personal transformation offered by God and it is routed in his/her unconditional love for us. I believe, as we experience this, we come to see that others cannot fill our neediness and longings, nor can we do the same for them. I see Henri’s journey as surrendering to this, initially painful but eventually liberating , truth. It is indeed a book of hope.
My mother once said to me, “Julia, your problem is that you always have to be challenged.” I wanted to respond (but didn’t, being from New England and brought up not to confront my elders), “Why is that a problem?”
But she was accurate. And I am realizing that, for me, this book is not a companion meditation, but a challenge.
One thing I have noticed is that I expect more from Henri because he was a priest. That certain things he writes frustrate me because I want him to be teaching me how to be closer to God, not describing just how apart from God he feels.
I have the book in both book form and as an audiobook. So I read the imperatives at the times of my prayers (so, four or five times a day), but then, I listen to some. A few at a time, and read along with the reading.
I’m someone who never, ever, ever writes in a book. Or turns down a page. That kind of thing. But, from the very start of this book, I have written in it. I think I see it as a course outline, instead of a tome.
Today, I listened to imperatives 16 through 18, and I noticed my note for imperative 18. In that imperative, Henri writes, “…that awakened your dormant desire to be completely and unconditionally loved.” I had underlined the word, unconditionally, and wondered at the end of the imperative why he does not feel that he receives unconditional love from God.
So I am thinking about how this is Advent. A time of stillness and waiting. And I am thinking about Henri, stuck where he is at the time of this writing. From the beginning of the text he states that he is waiting for something, God’s love.
So one challenge of this book for me may very well be to wait to see “what happens” in the writing. Does something come to Henri in the end, or does he go out to something?
Hello, just joining. I am 66, in California and thankfully stumbled onto Henri’s writing from a recommendation of David Haas on Facebook talking about the book Discernment. I have had God and the church so tangled up in my brain and heart that I walked away many years ago since the church has defined me as “internally deranged”. I have tried to hold onto a scrap of faith that God still loves me. I am on leave from a very busy career that was totally about caregiving and pleasing. I am now home for the last 20 months as the sole caregiver of my partner who has ALS…..Faith crisis…..pretty much so……assisting my partner who has a ventilator, feeding tube and is paralysed except for her head and hands to not be terrified of dying is overwhelming. I am getting nuggets from Henri’s works to hold onto……glad to have found this advent blog and Henri.
I also tangle up God and church and have walked away and come back too many times to count. There must be a reason. It remains a struggle to feel comfortable in my church.
Also, my husband’s dad had ALS and we cared for him doing many of the things you describe (vent, feeding tube). It is a 24×7 job that is exhausting and overwhelming. Please take care of yourself, too.
My horror is that I don’t feel tender about this book. I have to keep telling myself, He didn’t write this to be published, but as a process for himself.
And yet, I find myself, drawn up short by certain, often repeated, assertions.
Such as, “Every time you do something that comes from your needs. . . you know that you are not with God.” (15) And I ask, How can you not be with God, no matter what you are doing?
That is as much as I will write. Perhaps absolute silence is a good thing.
Julia,
Thanks for your heartfelt sharing. I certainly understand your reaction to the book. As Henri said in the introduction, he initially thought these reflections were too “raw” to be published–and he maintained that position for many years. He wrote these during a very dark time and I doubt that there was much that was “tender” in his heart when he wrote them. Yet these words, from the depth of his being, eventually and with the help of his spiritual guides, were healing and transforming. I know that the first imperative on the abyss still speaks to a hole I have in my life–less so now than in the past, but there is nothing tender about that imperative to me. I have the same reaction to the one about being a pleaser–it is a weakness I acknowledge yet one I have not completely overcome. Nothing tender there either. I think these imperatives were Henri’s way of challenging himself to grow spiritually, even when it was painful to do so, and by sharing them with us he is helping us to do the same.
That is why throughout the imperatives there is hope–the hope based on the knowledge that God is present even when don’t recognize him in our daily lives (think of Mother Teresa) and that he speaks to us in our inner voice of love.
Blessings, Ray
I think you are right. However, I did enjoy the read and understand where Henri was coming from. But I agree that this very close to what you are thinking – no matter what my need God is always there. Sometimes I/and all of us make mistakes, think thoughts, but God is there helping us, drawing us close to His bosom. He would never leave us go – it would have to be us to walk away from our loving Lord. Let me know more about your thoughts and I would really like to discuss this further is that possible? Blessings for speaking your thoughts it is what we need to do to grow in our Savior.
I understand what you are saying, but I also think what Nouwen is saying (or what I am getting) is that while God is always with you/me/us, sometimes *we* are not with God. I see a distinction. We can do things that create create an “abyss” between God and ourselves even if only in our perception even while his love and presence are steadfast. And while I found Nouwen’s imperatives to himself not “tender” on my first reading years ago, the more times I have re-read this I find him more tender. He is firm with himself in his imperatives but he never gives into shame or guilt or anger toward himself or God – -he does, for me at least, tread that middle ground between being consumed by the abyss or avoiding recognizing it entirely and helps me do it for myself.
Friends,
It is Thanksgiving Day here in the U.S., and it is the ideal day to join Brynn in thanking each of you for your presence and participation in this spirit-filled and compassionate community–whether you are sharing comments or reading and reflecting in your heart. Yesterday Brynn shared some wisdom she gained from her years facilitating these discussions and it bears repeating: “These discussions are always full of such beautiful and honest sharing, and this book perhaps more than others may bring about tender sharing. Of course each person must discern what they are comfortable sharing in an online environment, and we do ask you to keep that in mind. But whatever you choose to share, please know that your sharing is received into caring hearts. You may or may not see a written response to your comment, but know that every word is received and held by the caring people in this group.”
With Brynn’s advice in mind, I have reflected on these imperatives several times and the one that I keep returning to is “Come Home” (p12). Henri writes: “Your whole life you have been running about, seeking the love you desire… Trust that God will give you that all-fulfilling love… Home is where you are truly safe.” Meister Eckhart, the 14th century Dominican, understood this reality, our human frailty, and my personal experience when he wrote: “God is at home, it’s we who have gone out for a walk.” In my reflections a number of these imperatives were connected to Henri’s need, my need, and the human need to “come home.” For me it began in a dysfunctional childhood home where neither parent was truly present due to mental illness and alcoholism–and the result was an abyss (p3) in my being where I spent many years fleeing from the loneliness and seeking acceptance by being a pleaser (p5), traits that continue to some extent today. Many years later that loneliness and neediness led to a series of bad decisions that caused me and others great pain. At that time I was blessed to find Henri’s The Return of the Prodigal Son and it was a great help on my journey, in addition to the love and support of the people that accompanied me and welcomed me home. In other imperatives Henri is showing me what I need to do to continue my journey home. I need to trust the inner voice (p6) that calls me to be converted and transformed rather than seeking everyone’s else’s opinion, perhaps to please them. I need to continually come back to the solid place (p8) by saying (and praying) “God loves me, and God’s love is enough” knowing that I will find God’s love is “at home.” Perhaps most important, I need to keep living where God is–and as Meister Eckhert said, “God is at home.” How do we live “at home”? Henri writes: “Whatever you are doing–watching a movie, writing a book, giving a presentation, eating or sleeping–you have to stay in God’s presence… The great challenge is faithfulness, which must be lived in the choices of every moment… But every time you do something for the glory of God, you will know God’s peace in your heart and find rest there.” You will know that you have “Come Home.”
May the Lord give you peace and walk you home.
Ray
Beautiful, thank you….
Thank you.
“…and walk you home.” That last statement pierced my heart. Thank you. Oh, how deeply we are loved.
Blessings and peace to you!
Thank you! To affirm what you said I do believe our sharing is received with a caring heart, we are touched and must trust the Holy Spirit.
Ray, the words “I need to trust the inner voice (p6) that calls me to be converted and transformed rather than seeking everyone’s else’s opinion, perhaps to please them” seemed to jump off the page at me. I have read those words before but never were they so large or clear as today. Thank you and blessings!
The two imperatives that I felt I was living and am living are stop being a pleaser, and come home….I substituted you have to let of your mother figures. I feel like all my life I’ve doing that…but I love how Henri even gives us grace when he says we not have to look at it as total negative thing…he wants us to find ourselves and trust God….but how do we be alone and still be in community? That’s what I struggle with. I have to stop trying to please my mother, and know I am loved completely regardless of what I do, or accomplish. But unfortunately my job, the world says, more, more,more….it’s hard to keep telling myself I am enough. So I remembered ‘come home’. I always remember to come home, ask Jesus could you be my home? Then I remember Psalm 90, God you have always been our home….paraphrase….thank you.
I missed the introductions…so brieftly, I am a 35-year-old married mother of a 3-year-old little girl named Grace. I am currently in a serious period of discernment, and intensely drawn to Henri and his writings. Blessed to be part of this community at this point in my journey!
There are two that moved my very soul today. One is “Come Home” – as much as I have been the prodigal, as much as I have been that one lamb to wander off yet found again by my shepherd, as much as I have run back to Jesus, there are still parts of my soul that I feel have yet to come fully “home” to God. Parts of my heart that I have kept away.
The other is “Remain Attentive to Your Best Intuitions” on pages 16-18. His words are so familiar to my soul as I seek God and walk through this time of discernment and deeper wholeness and relationship with Jesus.
This year has been a journey into freedom and wholeness, and these two imperatives spoke directly into this part of my journey. Being held and held together by Divine Love.
Blessings, friends.
Erinn,
You last line being held and held together by Divine Love. Reminds me of a verse from Colossians that helped carry me through a very dark time in my life. “in him all things hold together.” (ch.1 v.17) and I would say it over and over ending with my own words, “including me.” Thanks for sharing.
Ahhh…thank YOU for sharing, Catherine! I’m going to note that verse.
My entire life I have endured a longing that I have been unable to satisfy. What is this longing? I have asked myself again and again. There is little I haven’t tried to fulfill it. But always it remains.
It is as if there is something I am to do but I can’t find it. And so I keep looking and searching. In all of this time, the one factor I never noticed was that I believed the solution or the answer to this anguish was myself. That I had to find it and I alone. I am a victim of my own strength and intelligence which told me that if only I worked harder or was better or gave more, that I would come to the peace I desired.
My faith journal has been slow. My trust in God is developing one step at a time. Gingerly, I’m letting Him take over my life.
As soon as I began to read these Imperatives and read them again. Reflect and read, the essay about God’s promise illuminated my life story. The realization that He and He alone will fill my deepest desires. His promise to me is no less. It is up to me to believe with my whole heart and my whole soul.
Patti, your beautiful post had me resonating – been there, done that – and I do mean ME always DOING, and wondering why I didn’t find peace. One of my resolutions in retirement is to become a human being rather than a human doing. After 18 months I’m beginning to realize that also involves waiting to God to act in me rather than something I can accomplish. For some reason I have found myself reluctant to start this study, to read the assigned imperatives, but I forced myself to check in today to see what others are getting out of it. Thanks for your post. Maybe it will help ease my block. Since I didn’t participate in the introductions, I’ll just say I live in Wyoming, divorced, no children, no close family, retired after years of serving in the church and nonprofits. I’ve done quite a few of these studies and trust God will speak to me in this one, in his own good time.
Welcome back Cel. It’s good to see you here again.
May the Lord give you peace.
Ray
Thanks! Somehow writing that opened a way through the roadblock. I realized the problem stemmed from feeling pressured by having to prepare for a class I’m teaching and research for two big initiatives which all happened to need to be done this weekend when I’d rather focus on the Advent atmosphere of waiting in expectation. Once I acknowledge feeling abused – retirement is supposed to have removed deadlines! – I was freed to peacefully read and reflect on the week’s initiatives and everyone’s comments. Henri had worked his magic again!! Later I worked on one of the iniatives without feeling pressured and can think of my class presentation today in the same way. Henri’s method of writing down what’s bothering you really is helpful!
God will be faithful to hold you close and fill that need. Thank you for sharing…I can relate to what you said.
Hi everyone,
Having read all the posts up to date I am moved by the heavy crosses some of you seem to be carrying and your trust in God. I have had an extra busy and tiring week feeling pulled in all directons.I had a strong craving to talk to someone close who knows and understands me and who speaks the same language (I am in Ecuador and my Spanish isn’t brilliant!). I hoped the sister(religious) I am most close to here in Ecuador would be free to have coffee or lunch with me.However, she was too busy with her clients. I felt lonely, rejected and abandoned!!! These were feelings that I had thought I had put behind me and been “healed” of. To go back a little in time – this particular Sister had been my Novice Director during a very vulnerable time in my life when my mother died. I hadn’t had a good relationship with my mother. I clung to this Sister and became dependent on her. The “Cry Inward” imperative particularly touched me as it reminded me that instead of crying out to this particular sister I needed to cry “inward” to Jesus. I did just that, in our lovely, peaceful and beautiful chapel. I felt Jesus telling me to embrace the pain, cry the tears, and accept the comforting maternal arms of His Mother around me. He also reminded me that I am being held in the loving arms of another community – your good selves!!! And of course, Henri. Thank you all for embarking on this journey with me. It is a great source of comfort for me to be able to share with “kindred spirits” in my own language. The scripture verse that came to mind was Isaiah 49, 15 “Though a mother may forget her child …….I will never forget you”. Let us hold eachother in love and prayer as we travel on the journey together.
Thank you, Nuala. I’m still grieving the loss of my own precious mother and your words infused me with compassion and hope.
Dear Nuala,
Thank you for your insights which helped me gain some understanding of my own need for love and affection which if not met can lead me into isolation…and in my case into addiction as a solace. At a late age in lifeI’m becoming more and more conscious than I AM LOVED by my Shepherdess
And am beginning to see that others, my therapist for example, cannot always be present to me as I would like. It’s been a struggle for me and possibly for her
But this is part of my Advent COME HOME….to trust that God will give me all love and in a human way. P. 12. Kathleen☘
First of all, a heartfelt thank you for each of you who is here, who has shared, who has listened. These discussions are always full of such beautiful and honest sharing, and this book perhaps more than others may bring about tender sharing. Of course each person must discern what they are comfortable sharing in an online environment, and we do ask you to keep that in mind. But whatever you choose to share, please know that your sharing is received into caring hearts. You may or may not see a written response to your comment, but know that every word is received and held by the caring people in this group.
A number of the imperatives struck me, but I’ve been thinking particularly about “Keep Living Where God is.” If I understand what Henri is expressing… there is a deep freedom when we live our life, “whether watching a movie, writing a book, giving a presentation, eating or sleeping,” all for the glory of God. When I am living for my own glory there can be many fears about what others will think, if I’ll succeed, if people will approve of me or what I say or do… a constant searching for the approval of others. But when I know what God has called me to do, when I choose to do everything under God’s leading, through His strength and for His glory, than there is freedom. Instead of having to seek the approval of all the many people around me who have widely varying opinions… I only need seek the approval of One.
Just received the book and read for the week. What stands out for me is “Trust in the Place of Unity”, – You are called to live out of a new place. I just found out this week I have a genetic disease and I’m losing sight in both my eyes and there’s no cure. So this came to me at just the right time. My feelings are expressed precisely in his writing -“It is quite understandable that you are afraid of this place. You have so little knowledge of it.” This is helpful – “Do not be afraid. Trust that the God of life wants to embrace you and give you true safety.”
This is my first online/blog book study and am so looking forward to reading everyone’s posts.
Pat, I wanted to tell you that I too have a genetic eye disease and am losing my sight in both eyes. It has been slowly degenerating since I was a child and now I am left with light perception. I find it very difficult to live life on life’s terms and feel rather lost in my inner pain. I am hoping that this book will show me the way back to a close relationship with God and lighten my heart
Thanks for sharing that with me, helps to know I’m not alone.
I think the best thing I can put down on paper at this point are the words of Jeremiah 29:11-14
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.
thank you
Thanks Lewis, I’ve always loved that passage too.
From Rod
Hi , have always admired Henri, I am a chaplain at a home for the elderly in Maine , I look forward to our time together. Happy Advent !
From Patricia
Greetings, I am happy to be able to participate for the first time. I am from North Carolina. I hope as I make this advent journey I will grow in my prayer life, my love of God and a deeper appreciation of all by brothers and sisters. What a joy to read your posts!
Peace and all good to each of you.
Imperatives 1: Work around your Abyss 2: Cling to the promise
The gospel readings on Saturday (21st Nov) were not taken from the usual readings we have each year on this special feast day celebration. Nor indeed was the Homily. (Jn:19. 25-30) The last thing I expected was both Jesus’ words and the priest’s words to speak so clearly to me. All that I had intended sharing today on Henri’s imperatives concerned my cross and the silence of God.
Henri speaks of a deep abyss. Yes I know this well, and which I can never succeed in filling. Whilst Henri describes his needs as being inexhaustible, even my most basic needs were never met. I have been nobody’s child. Both parents abandoned me at just one year old when, I was found to be severely neglected and in need of urgent medical attention. I was later placed with a foster carer, where during my formative years, I suffered a great deal from physical, verbal and emotional abuse. To be so alone, afraid and insecure has never quite left me.
During my teenage years I sought God out, who I was told was our Father and, who loves each of us very dearly. I was comfortable with ‘God loves us’ but felt uncertain about ‘God loves you’. Consequently, I have wrestled with God for years because my insecurities made life hard in very many ways. Jacob wrestling with the Angel is how I experience this struggle with God and my difficulties. I try to understand from scripture about the Father knowing me before I was formed in my mothers womb, (Jer: 1-5) Also, Can a mother forget her baby? (Is: 49. 15) and (Ps: 139.) I just need help in trying to understand what it’s all about. Where are you? Can you hear me?
I don’t speak to many about my sufferings, but I know my actions, words and behaviours often display my poverty. Also, I can feel ashamed about feeling weak and vulnerable and I just want to be someone else. I speak to the Lord often and at length, and very often, I complain too! It’s the pain I don’t like. It’s the silence I don’t like. It’s the cross I don’t want anymore. I want you to bring me home. Please! ( I’ve done my three score and ten)
Sadly, we are estranged from our beloved son and his children and it has broken my heart. That something so inconceivable could happen within our family? My children are my joy. My sense of worth plummets yet again.
I did meet my own mother some forty plus years later. Children were never considered a joy for her. Her regret was that I found her. This further rejection was very painful to bear.
(Concerning last Saturday’s celebration mass)
The gospel tells the story of Mary and the beloved disciple at the foot of Jesus’ cross. The words ‘This is your mother’ reverberated in me as if they were spoken directly to me. And during the homily, as well as talking about the saintly parents of Saint Therese, the priest went on to tell of Mary’s words to Saint Bernadette. ‘I cannot promise you happiness in this world but in the next.’
Father when I know you are speaking to me, I feel safe, secure and loved.
♠
Ann, I can only imagine the heartbreak that is associated with your personal experiences of “mother.” I am so sorry for your pain. That is why I was heartened by your recognition that Jesus left his earthly mother not only to John but to all of us. If anyone can understand, it is Mary, who lived to see the agonizing death of her own dear child. She certainly understood egregious injustice, the pain of homelessness, and fear for the safety of her child. Since all of us are her spiritual children, she understands our pain as well. While I am grateful to have had a loving mother, I have also been grateful for the “mothering” actions of a food bank client ( a stranger) who warmed my hands as I was stocking the meat freezer, a friend who gave me a pep talk about patient endurance while I was caregiver to a sick parent, a radiology technician who talked claustrophobic me through a scary MRI, and even the solicitous mothering that my daughters provided when I broke my arm. Perhaps because my own mother has died and I am growing older myself, I think a lot about what it means to mother. Our sad and often cruel world could certainly use a little more Mary-styled mothering. Who could right now use a little mothering from me?
Ann, I pray that you can find some consolation this side of eternity to sustain you until you experience the ultimate of motherly (and fatherly) love in heaven.Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Dear Ann – I have read your post many times in the last two days. I am sorry for the pain from your childhood and also for the estrangement. Perhaps planned by God, I was unwanted by my family. I found myself clinging to my mother who emotionally pushed me away and a father who barely noticed me. They were good people ( they both passed when I was in my 20’s ) but they were too old and broken to raise a child. Your words about self-worth “plummeting” spoke to me. Being currently estranged from my 35 year old daughter (and two precious grandchildren) has brought so much of my childhood pain to the surface. An estrangement from a child is a terrible emotional loss. My soul is hopeful and hopeless at a time when most grandmothers anticipate the joy of sharing Christmas Season family time. I see in this book study choice an invitation to come to terms with one’s inner pain. It is a brave and courageous Advent journey, and not as superficial as I thought when signing on and purchasing this book. I am grateful that Henri Nouwen was inspired to share his spiritual struggles and renewed faith. The reading on page 12 of my copy “Come Home” is speaking to me and the Holy Spirit is giving me a nudge to trust fully in God’s promise. Bless you, dear Anne, my kindred spirit.
Thank you for sharing such a personal and deeply painful experience. My prayers go out to you as I know others are also. Bless you, dear heart!!
I can just feel your body in pain. Please know someone else has heard it, and I am hugging you close to your heart. My prayers for you will be what I should more often pray for another in a situation similar to yours, that God is holding you in loving arms and will attend to you as the hen who gathers her young under her wings.
Thank you for sharing Ann, that was beautiful and from your heart.
I’m very much struck this week by the idea that there is an “abyss” inside of us. I read once that this perpetual dissatisfaction gave our forbears an evolutionary advantage, because our ancient ancestors didn’t relax: They kept looking for the next meal, for safety, for their tribe’s welfare, etc. As with so much of our ancient hard-wiring, it seems the original evolutionary purpose does us no favors in our current day and age.
Or does it? What if the abyss inside of us pushes us, now that we’re warm and fed and mostly safe, to seek God? What if the greatest pain we suffer is not a curse, but a strange blessing?
It’s a leap, to say the least, though Henri at least kept trying to reach out for God and to trust in God in the worst of his pain. I tried to do the same in the worst of my depression, but on occasional dark days that remain, it’s hard to find that “still, small voice” within – let alone trust in it.
What I do know now that I have mostly found my way out, is that the pain I experienced was a strange gift. I couldn’t see it then, but I see now that everything I went through led me to this place, to this NOW. I pray that those of you on this forum who suffer your own darkness can take some hope and solace from this, though I know how hard it was to believe others’ assurances during my own dark times.
Still, my touchstone these days are these words from Julian of Norwich: “First there is the fall, and then there is the recovery from the fall. But both are the mercy of God.”
Peace be with you all this week.
I am thankful that we can graciously write our thoughts out about those dark moments in our lives – thankful for Henri that he wrote out his thoughts, his dark moments. We can come home to the Father who is waiting at our heart’s door when those dark times come. For myself when those moments come I like to be in solitude, thinking of where I am heading, wonder why Lord these moments that I encounter….will they ever cease. It seems that time and as I pray that the Spirit comes and brings light to my soul. I am looking forward to the the ongoing discussions, reading the writing of others, and sharing those moments with the group. May God bless all who contribute, His love is our great gift. Oh yes I am the lady from Calgary, Alberta…..(sunny Alberta? hmmm, maybe not
The imperatives that struck me were about not telling everybody your story and stop seeking everybody elses opinions and getting confused……was challenged to look at my heart and see the split between my divinity (where God is) and my humanity and desore to let these two parts come together.
I sense God wanting me to listen to my own deep self and believe in it…..and not get involved too much in what others say or do. Somehow as i was reflecting on my readings i felt God loving me more than i have felt before and feel a sense of abandon and want to surrender to Him more in this season of advent.
The Imperative I chose was #15 Living Where God Is.
This was a huge chunk of imperatives and at first it was difficult to choose only one or two. Initially there were a number that “rolled into” each other or built on each other. Finally I selected #15 Living Where God Is.
In #15 I likened the last paragraph to a spiritual continuum. At one end of the continuum was being the furthest away from God in my life. When I do an activity for my glory or pleasure or as Nouwen describes “for our own acceptance, affirmation or affection”. Whatever the motivation, the activity does not bring me closer or be aware of God’s presence. In fact the activity separates me from God.
At the other end of the continuum is being so aware of God’s presence in my actions and thoughts when doing some activity. As Nouwen points out, when I do the activity the motivation is for the glory of God and there certain peace and rest in one’s heart. The peace and rest bring a feeling of certain rightness. The feeling of peace and rightness occurs in activities that are painful. It is a juxtaposition of being in a difficult situation and experiencing some peace. We might question the situation or question God’s presence but deep down in our hearts we know it is right. We are one with God.
The Scriptures that represented the continuum for me were Judas’s betrayal of Jesus (being separated from God), the middle of the continuum Jesus describing the commitment of disciples (hate/leave your family, your own life and carry my cross) and the last part of the continuum reflected by Paul’s thinking “we are all baptized into one body by one Spirit and we all share the same Spirit” being one in God.
An insight I gained is to slow down when I decided to tackle a new project. To really think is it busy work (as mentioned in Imperative #1) or is it an activity that will make God’s presence more evident to me in my life.
Great reading!
“Living where God is,” is the same imperative that spoke most “loudly” to me, along with “Enter the New Country.” I’m going through an excruciatingly difficult/painful/frightening phase of my life–this is a new country–and these 2 imperatives are like a beacon of light to show me where to go, and how to accept what is happening.
I see now that my journey is still the same journey, it is a continuation of a lifelong path toward the sublime intimacy of heartfelt surrender to my Lord, Jesus, to learn to fully embrace the purity and simplicity of devotion to Him.
The imperative to keep living where God is, defines my daily task–to eat, drink, work, play, speak, write, and pray for the glory of God. And when I do that, I will know God’s peace in my heart, despite the storms around and in me, and I will find rest in Him.
What sweet comfort this is because it is also astonishingly simple. When I stop seeking my own glory, stop following my own desires for acceptance, affection, and attention, and focus entirely, only on being where God is, I will find peace and tranquility. How will I do this?
One step, one minute at a time.
Beautiful……
Thank you, Karen. I had to write it out, to start to make a plan for myself. I’m an INFJ — I need a plan!
I distilled it down to this, which I’ve printed out in large type for my wall, to keep me mindful of my goal.
Eat, drink, work, play, speak, write,
and pray for the glory of God.
Don’t seek your own glory,
don’t follow your own desires
for acceptance, affection, attention,
and comfort.
Every step, each moment, focus entirely, only on being where God is.
As we await the Thanksgiving Holiday and the beginning of Advent, I have been praying that I would find a way to make the season as meaningful for me as it has been in the past. Advent is my favorite season, and I have often used many of Henri’s Advent themes in my work as Pastoral Associate.
Eight years ago, I experienced a painful breaking open in my own life. Through Divine Providence I had already made plans and scheduled an appointment with a respected spiritual guide who had a practice at a local retreat house. By God’s grace and I think Henri’s intercession I was able to meet two days later with this incredible woman. As I poured out my story, her quiet calm and love soothed my raging spirit…but it was the lasting gift she suggested to me of Reading The Inner Voice of Love that made all the difference. God made it easy as I thought I had the book on my shelf and when I returned home I was able to put my hand right on it. It was lovingly inscribed from a close friend.
Henri and the daily imperatives became for me the most incredible companions. I have since recommended it to many others in my role of faith formation leader in the parish where I served and continue to keep it close by with the wisdom therein that I continue to mine. So looking forward to the days of this Advent as I feel that same Divine Intervention!
Linda, I could relate to your posting. In 2007 (same 8 yrs ago), I traveled far and inconveniently to see my spiritual director who had moved. It was a rough time and coincidentally it was “Keep Moving Toward Full Incarnation”, which as a group we haven’t gotten to yet that Father took from his computer (complete with graphics); and when you get there you can imagine how the graphics helped and had me read it aloud. By the third time I just started to sob! This has changed my life and the same piece of paper faded is still on my wall. I purchased the book and unlike hundreds of others disorganized on the bookshelves, this and another has a place of honor and has been used during the dark times when I just want to hear a Jesus! Thank you for sharing which makes me see that we are all more alike than different. Advent Peace and all the best in working in the vineyard doe the people of God and you were smart enough to “grab the oxygen mask first ;)”
Roses, thank you for replying to my post. How wonderful for both of us that we were led to a source of deep honesty and reverent insights at the time we needed it most. Maybe we were actually praying for one another in our darkness. A phrase that always sticks with me is when one of us suffers, we all suffer and in joy we all rejoice. This pattern continues all the time, because the body of Christ is experiencing both at all times. Peace be with you dear Roses and blessings on our advent journey!
My first introduction to Henri Nouwen was through L’arche, which is active in our Erie Diocese. My daughter was attending Gannon College in Erie, PA and volunteered with L’arche. She was blessed to do this ministry of work and some of the tender experiences will remain with her for the rest of her life.
Jean Vanier, who had spoken at Gannon before, and Henri were to come to Erie, but that did not happen.
As we begin the Advent season soon, may we be inspired with this book discussion.
Blessings, Janet
From Krystal
Hi! I realize I am a bit late to this discussion but am looking forward to the experience. I am a wife, mom to 3 adult children and Grannie to a beautiful granddaughter, one of the greatest gifts I have ever been given! Hearing or reading other people’s stories or thoughts often opens my eyes to where God has been acting in my life. Henri is always a bit challenging for me and already the introduction causes some reticence on my part…do I really want to go there? But, I know in the end I will have learned so much to carry me further on my journey.
From Lori Jo
Somehow I missed the introduction time frame so I am adding this post late. As a returning participant in the Book Discussions, I am very grateful to be sharing another journey of spiritual reflection with you from my home in Canada.
Hello, I just received the book, The Inner Voice of Love, and am excited to be part of this group. I have not previously participated in your book groups but have been following them on the side line for years. I receive Henri’s email meditations daily. I live on the South Shore of Massachusetts and am retired from working in the financial industry for many years. I am part of a charismatic Catholic community too. I have a ministry of visiting the sick and homebound and presently visit those hospitalized. I dedicate my days to God and to my husband who has been diagnosed with a brain disease. Henri’s writings are very powerful and confirming to me.
John and I (Faye) also decided to do this discussion group experience together during the season of Advent. Both of us love Nouwen’s books and daily devotionals. We are from south Louisiana and married with a goal of helping each other get to heaven. We are in our seventies & at times struggling with the obstacles of aging. We are having to adjust to the changes in each other’s physical & mental capabilities. We need God’s help! We are excited to be a part of this group. The first readings are awesome with many new insights.
Hi there from the shaggy sheep in New Zealand. Very late but excited. I purchased the audio book because I struggle to read print, so have no idea about imperative numbers but that does not matter. As an Anglican Franciscan with my only one spiritual credential being a PhD in getting it wrong, I want advent to be an honest encounter with a God who calls us each day to new ways and whose love and compassion are unfathomable. Henri Nouwen speaks to my heart. I am hopeful that by learning from you all and from Henri Nouwen, this advent book discussion may challenge me to be more compassionate to others and even to myself. Thank you all. Jennyl
Here’s the first concept from Nouwen that drills me to the core: Let God be enough.
…and thrills me too (sometimes) …when I cease my striving and chasing after the wind.
Next year I will celebrate 25 yrs of marriage with my very good friend who has lived 50 years as a quadriplegic. Though we have had and still have morning and evening help, I am the one he depends upon most.
But here’s the rub: “Outwardly I am fading away…” Also next year, I will turn 70. My greatest fear is that I will not be able to do what needs to be done.
The verse above goes on to say, ” Inwardly we are being renewed day by day; for these light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal weight of glory that far exceeds them all.” ( 11 Cor 4:16,17 )
I know I am not enough — strong enough, smart enough, sacrificial enough — which is really bad news!
But — He that is in me IS! (1 John 4:4). This is REALLY good news!
Oh, God, have mercy upon me a sinner. I want to believe and behave accordingly, yet I fail so miserably.
HELP ME “look to things unseen and not to what is seen. For what is seen is passing away; but what is unseen is eternal.” (11 Cor 4:18)
Thanks be to YOU ALONE. YOU ARE ENOUGH!
God bless you, Jacky. I’m struggling with the same kinds of fears in a somewhat similar situation–needing to be a caregiver while not being strong enough to be a caregiver. So many questions about how; and trying to remember “God is enough.”
“There is a deep hole in your being, like an abyss.”(1) I know what the abyss feels like. I experience it everyday. It’s loneliness and helplessness. I feel insignificant, insecure, fearful and unloved even though I’m married to a wonderful man. I wonder what is wrong with me, why can’t I be happy? I do exactly what Nouwen says to avoid…”being distracted by so many things that you stay far away from the wound you want to heal”. I confess I’m addicted to distraction and I desperately want to be healed but I know I cannot heal myself. I need God’s help and the words of Isaiah 41:13 spoke to my heart …”For I am, the Lord, your God, I am holding you by your right hand, I tell you do not be afraid, I will help you”. I pray God that you keep holding my hand as I “work around” the abyss “so that it gradually closes”. I long for a “new life of freedom and joy”(4) To have this I must “trust the inner voice that shows the way”. “My heart is ready O God, my heart is ready. Yes, I will sing praise.” Ps57:7
Pat, in a Soul Tending class the director ask me what is God doing for you. I then told about some of the people who cared and ministered to me. I know God is holding my hand because the only hands God has is our hands. I am a widow for five years and so miss the hands of God in my husband. Yet God is always faithful and has placed my hand in a friends’ hands. As Henri says we so need each other and community.
From Suzanne
I am also late, but might add a country to the international mix. I am an American working in Austria with a mission organization. I have had health challenges in the last years, and look forward to the encouragement of this project. Unfortunately, the book hasn’t yet arrived, but should soon. I have appreciated other books by Nouwen, as well as the daily devotionals.
Hi, my name is Chantal. I am from northern Ontario Canada. I have read the Inner Voice of Love before. The imperatives have been a true blessing in my life, inspiring and guiding me throughout the past three years of my recovery journey from mental illness. I have read a few books from Henri Nouwen but this is my favorite. It brought light in my life in the midst of so many spiritual battles, answers and revelations in the midst of so many questions, despair and confusion. However, I am happy to say that my wounded soul has been freed from the deep emptiness and darkness it once experienced through mental illness. I thank the Holy Spirit for this. Now healed, I look forward in rereading this book from a new perspective during Advent.
I’m a first timer ….
I’ve recently retired, and am feeling empty. I know Jesus is calling me to do something, but have no idea what it is. Maybe Henry’s book can help
Patti, from Truckee
Patti: Like you, I am recently retired and wondering what God has in store for me next? I have been praying for guidance and I trust that the answer will be revealed in His own time. I struggle with waiting on God’s timing..it has always been a challenge for me to wait. So, of course He has had to teach me, repeatedly but lovingly, that I don’t have a clue (like Jenny I have a “PhD in getting it wrong”) and that He has the very best plan for me if only I will trust and surrender.
I am not a first timer here on this site and can tell you from experience that journeying through Advent with this wonderful community of “Henri devotees” will be a tremendous blessing in your life…in ways that you can’t even ask or imagine!
“Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think”
(Ephesians 3:20)
Peace…we are all wounded healers
Diane
Hi,
I am struggling with what God wants from me too.
I finished a Master’s Degree in Theology 4 years ago, became very active in my church and then knew it was not the right place for me. What the degree a waste of time? What was the purpose? I loved every minute of the process and thought I found my path, now I do not even know if church is the right thing for me at all. Just wanted to let you know we all struggle. Blessings to you.
Hi, My name is Kathryn and I live in Grand Rapids MI. This is the first time doing anything like this therefore, I am looking forward to it. I am a fan of Henri and have read some of his work, and looking forward to this piece.
Hi, I live outside of Vancouver, BC, a little late as I ordered the book but it should be here any day. Looking forward to this study and sharing as going through a difficult year, think it will be helpful to connect with others and hear their stories, helpful to know you’re not alone in your struggles.
“You have to trust that there is another place, to which your spiritual guides want to lead you and where you can be safe.” (14).
The past six months has been a roller coaster ride for me and my husband. With so many people close to us going through so much, and then my own husband becoming ill for a time and requiring surgery. Every turn there appeared to be suffering of some kind. Henri Nouwen writes “to think about this new place as beyond emotions, passions and feelings.” “To seek out that place of unity where God dwells and will hold you. Do not be afraid. Trust that the God of life wants to embrace you and give you true safety.”
To look past all the upheavel, uncertainity, and trusting God will show the path to take. Not to fear, or wonder can I, in his word he tells us “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5. To be held by God when the waves are high and the boat is rocking. To allow him to quiet the storms going on in us and around us to give us his peace and unity, so that we can abide with him and hear his words he has for us that will guide us.
Jennifer Paterson from Farnham Surrey ÙK. Retired priest in the Church of England. I have never joined a group like this before and am looking forward to sharing this adventure with you all.
Dear Jennifer,
Lovely to see another Anglican from this side of the pond .This is my third discussion since this time last year and have found them great” for the journey” . I am a reader licensed in September 2015
Best Wishes and prayers
Gilly
Hi Gilly, thanks for your encouragement
From Beverly Weinhold
Hi, I’m Bev Weinhold.
I missed the introductions on November 18 and your first session on the 22nd. But would love to continue on this journey through Lent. I am living in Louisville but in the midst of moving back home to Boston MA (which is why I missed the introductions). This study is particularly meaningful to me right now as I remember in the “Inner Voice of Love” Henri talks a great deal about returning to our “true home.” Not a place, but an inner peace where the ‘pieces’ and our call come to greater clarity. I’m searching for that.
“Whatever you are doing…you have to stay in God’s presence….To live a disciplined life is to live in such a way that you want only to be where God is with you….[W]hen you no longer live for the glory of God, you begin living for your own glory” (23)
I took a new job for what I thought were all the right reasons: to help others, to fill my days with the kind of productive work that had defined my career, to make a difference. I told myself that here I would be using my talents as God intended. Now I am not so sure. Does my lack of connection with this work mean that I should just keep trying new tactics? Does my unhappiness mean that God is calling me to step back, take stock of my life, and find other and better ways to serve him—or as Henri says, “to enter a new country”? (21) My Advent focus is to make more room for God in my too busy life. I need Him in order to discern the path He wants me to follow. I need Him in order to become more grateful for every moment of the day, whether things are going my way or not. Frankly, I need Him in order to get over myself.
You got that right, Elaine! I am coming to that idea of getting out of my own way. But, it is hard. It seems like the readings and intentions put us on the right path, then events and busy minds along with worry or discouragement put us right back in the hole and tripping over ourselves again! We just keep getting up!
Mary Hodgkinson
Hi! I am rather later joining this commentary but have made a start on the Advent readings! I live on the island of Malta. My sister introduced me to Henri some years ago and I ‘ rediscovered’ the beauty of his writing a couple of years ago. I am looking forward to being renewed and refreshed during the course of this Advent.
this will be my second book to follow the book discussion. I have been following the daily devotional emails for several years now.
I am in Fort Worth, Texas.
From Beth Hewson
Hello! I am a bit late…however, I live in Northern Ontario Canada. I am a chaplain 1/2 time in a mental health and general hospital enviroment. It is wonderful work. As well I am a minister 1/2 time in a very samll community – Temagami – an hour north of where I live. The two vocations together keep me grounded!
I have read Nouwen’s work before – a little. I am looking forward to the intentional time of reflection, study and prayer.
Hi, my name is DJ Shoaf. I am a special education teacher in Colorado. I am looking forward to reading this book and all of your insights in preparation for Christmas.
So glad you are tackling this meaty subject matter as a prelude to Christmas. It is a gracious thing to look over the shoulder of Henri as he plummeted these personal depths. I have only tasted briefly some of these experiences and have never really thought to put into words some of what I perceived, let alone articulate imperatives that will guide me through them. This is a courageous work and reading with you all is adding to my hope that others are not afraid of the dark…the dark that is a real part of life. Thank you for organizing this group, and thank you all for taking part.
From Tracy
Hello to all from Tracy in Rhode Island, where I am a writer/editor and partner in my husband’s diverse business enterprises. I’m also newly a caregiver for a family member with long-term illness. All this sounds like way too much for any one person to handle, and it is, but by the grace and strength of God, by getting up and asking, “What do you want me to do today, Lord,” and then doing the day’s work without freaking out about how impossible the future looks, with the support of many prayers, I’m managing to hang in there. I hope to have time to read all your introductions and to contribute to the discussion this week.
From Julie
Hello from Ohio, where I am a pediatric palliative care chaplain. This book was placed in my hands when I first became a L’arche assistant years ago, and served as a guide for me at that time. I anticipate it will once again, and am grateful to return to it in this way.
From Karen
My name is Karen, I live in Minnesota. I work at at a bank, sit at a computer researching disputes, but I find many moments to pray…..Jesus, Jesus…..
This was the first book I read from Henri Nouwen and my favorite it really speaks to me…plus the daily devotional I receive on-line.
From Stephanie and Joshua
Hello! My husband (Joshua) and I reside in Northern MN, along Lake Superior. We have 3 Children (8,7,4) and lead a busy life. I work full time as a teacher and Joshua is a small business owner roasting coffee. We were both wanting to do an advent reading together and Josh found this. Our lives are filled with joy, eternal peace, moments of pain and brokenness, and a desire to live in the
newness of God’s grace each and every day. Josh is familiar with Henri’s writing, but I have not read any of his work before except for an excerpt here and there.