Dec 8th to 14th: Becoming the Beloved – Blessed and Broken

Reading:  Becoming the Beloved – II. Blessed and III. Broken

We have before us a very rich and full week!  In our first week we explored that we are the Beloved of God.  Last week we had the opportunity to embraced that we are actively chosen by God, each of us in our uniqueness.  We now have the opportunity to choose to receive God’s blessing upon us, and also to give it to others.

Henri reminds us that we have a part to play in receiving God’s blessing upon us.  If we are not active in receiving God’s blessing we will most likely believe the many lies that tell us we are among the cursed.  It is easy to believe these lies, unless we actively and regularly confront the lies with God’s truth.  Henri has two very important suggestions to help us hear and claim the truth that we are blessed by God:

1) Henri emphasizes the importance of regular quiet times in God’s presence, as a key to knowing and recognizing His voice – the voice the blesses us.  
a) How does Henri explain what a blessing is?
b) Have you had the experience of being filled up and affirmed in God’s presence?
c) What do you think keeps us running, and avoiding such times of solitude and silence?
d) Is there a specific Scripture verse, or prayer, that helps you remain quiet and focused in God’s presence?
INVITATION:  Commit to reserving one half hour every day this week to be in God’s presence.  For this week, let this time be a quiet time of just listening.  You may choose to have a Scripture verse or prayer to help quiet your mind and keep your focus, and remind you that you are blessed.

2) Henri also invites us to cultivate our ability to be present, to be “attentive to the blessings that come to you day after day…” (p79).
a) Are you willing and able to receive the blessings offered to you by others, and/or by nature, and/or by the Holy Scriptures?
b) How might you more actively receive the blessings that are “there, surrounding [you] on all sides” (p81)?
c) As you begin to receive and claim your own blessedness – how might you begin to actively bless others?

In the very same week that we explore our blessedness, we are also going to explore our own brokenness.  Henri explores the many ways we can feel “rejected, ignored, despised and left alone” (p 89).  Fortunately, Henri gives us two concrete suggestions for how to respond to our very real experience of brokenness:

3) “The first response, then, to our brokenness is to face it squarely and befriend it” (p92), and to embrace “the deep truth that our human suffering need not be an obstacle to the joy and peace we so desire, but can become, instead, the means to it” (p96).
a) How do we befriend our pain?
b) How can we develop the trust that God will give us the strength to stand in our pain?

4) Henri suggests that to befriend our pain is to put it under the blessing.  
a) How does our perception of pain and brokenness change when it is put under the blessing?
b) What new meaning does pain or brokenness take on? (see page 98).
INVITATION:  Think about a difficult experience of pain / brokenness you have had or are having.  Instead of focusing on all the negative aspects of this experience, I invite you to focus on some of the positive results or opportunities this experience brought you.  This is not to negate how difficult, or even horrendous, the experience was, but to empower you to choose the meaning you give to the experience, by bringing it under the truth that you are blessed by God.

59 Replies to “Dec 8th to 14th: Becoming the Beloved – Blessed and Broken”

  1. Truly, another incredible week!

    I’ve created a new post, titled “Dec 15th to 21st: Becoming the Beloved – Given.” If you come over to this new post you’ll find new discussion questions and comments focused on this week’s readings.

    To get to this new post you can scroll to the top of this page and click on the word “Home” located in the bottom left hand corner of the image of the snowy forest. Once on the home page you’ll see the link to the new post (the title in bold text that turns red when you put your mouse over it).

    Please join us in the new post, and add any new comments there (including comments in response to comments posted here). This way, everyone will see them.

  2. Dear friends, thank you so much for all your kind words and support. I really need it.
    I would like to encourage you about the time spending with our Lord in silence. Run towards it- do not hesitate, do not be afraid. He is the best Person to be with! I love the time with Him. I prefer it to everything else. I learned about it long before I came to Canada- I visited Taize retreat- and I fell in love ! Yes, in the beginning it is not the familiar thing, but please persevere. Do not give up. He wants you to stay with Him and you benefit so much from His Presence. And 30 minutes is really only beginning… there is more. But do not hurry. Be faithful with your half an hour first. You will never regret it. Daily- not as a part time job. Jesus loves us every second, not only once a year!
    There is a wonderful website called Discerning hearts- has lots of good resources, daily retreats, etc there. Go in podcasts and find Beginning to pray- by blessed Elisabeth from Trinity with Dr.Liles called Heaven in faith and soak it up. When I found it- I never wanted go away- it is amazing. Also listen to J. Keating- all his podcasts will change your heart! I love all of it -it is my daily bread for my soul.

  3. Taken: 11.12.2013

    Being taken and believing that we are all chosen by God as the Beloved in my opinion is a more difficult pathway. Weighed down by life’s burdens of meeting our daily work/ family responsibilities and expectations, we also live in a global society that is constrained by the silos of institutional covert and entrenched attitudes and practices of racism and prejudice. These silos often deny those who are the most vulnerable such as the Homeless person, the Handicapped the Traveller or the Muslim/Christian from experiencing the cascading lights of God’s presence and in their being chosen as the Beloved. It is hard to believe that a homeless and very poor Romanian person who spends day after day sitting around the streets begging for monies in now having to suffer colder weather temperatures, hungry and destitute feeling and believing that he or she is cherished as being the Beloved.

    I was once struck by the commentary of a young Traveller female aged 26 years who told me that as a child growing up in the suburbs of Dublin when younger she was aware that other mainstream children were not allowed to play with her or her siblings because of her Traveller background. Children in her neighbourhood told her this when in play that their parents did not want their child to associate or engage in play with her. How would this have made this child feel? How did she feel further having to tell a person in authority of this early childhood experience in her being excluded in such a overt way because of her Traveller status? Newen’s reference to the experiences that fall within the concept of us being cherished by the higher power-our Lord-does not easily fit with the world’s standard of and its judgements of perfection. This judgement and prejudice is captured more intensely where those in authority have become hardened by racial arrogance and a sense of their own importance and superiority leading in some cases to the evils of anti-Semitic behaviours towards others. This was depicted as being one of the worst crimes in history with the known fall-out of the Jewish race being gassed to death by the Third Reich in the Auschwitz camps of World War 2. In his book then, Newen’s Jewish friend Fred tells us that he did not remember ever being persecuted as a Jew but that he did feel some of the shame of this where his ancestors and relations were more forcibly affected by persecutions.

    This level of racial intolerance and lack of acceptance is notable in other races; significantly the Black South Africans who lived under the Apartied for the period 1948-1994; the Irish being repressed by the control of the British government for a period of 800 years and in Australia where it is noted that Aboriginal people were not allowed to vote in state or commonwealth politics for the period 1788-1962. Dispossession of land and denial of basic human rights was well known in these societies governed by the dominant ruling class. One sees the legacy of the old white Australian policy still being acted out by the Australian government where their draconian policies are forcibly enacted against refugees particularly those from Islamic countries. These peoples are rejected and are not welcomed to this country as they are instead incarcerated for many months, and years in immigration detention centres-in hot desolate and very remote areas of Australian shores when arriving without visas and in their seeking asylum in this country.

    Although Australia is a signatory to other countries to provide moral and economic support and refuge to those fleeing from the effects of persecution or war; this is only a stamp that has no bearing on its practices in reality. Sadly the Australian government in more recent years has worsened its position in its reverting to paying large sums of monies to third world countries to absorb pools of refugees in countries such as Manos. This has then resulted in the development of ghettoes and refugee camps where is no proper infrastructure and or economic/ structural supports to aid these very vulnerable communities.

    Sadly and in reality where Australia is currently rated as a more prosperous and wealthy position and can afford to bring in refugees it is now viewed as being one of the harshest countries in the world in their treatment of refugees from war torn countries. So where does this leave the individual living in a society where institutionalisation and lack of worthiness is powerfully acted out in our political and social structures; in those areas particularly where children are now living and growing up in prisons in very hot remote areas of Australia with some spending five to six years of their childhood in the dark shadows of these environments?

    In my opinion I know that it is morally wrong to devalue and oppress the life of another human being through these kinds of cruel policies enacting intolerance and racial hatred. It is my view that a collective consciousness is needed to try and change some of these practices.
    This is where Newen’s inclusive approach has such great value where he states that when we keep claiming the light reclaiming the right of being the chosen ones, we soon discover in ourselves a deep desire to reveal to others their chosenness. I love the quotation that in the house of God there are many mansions, there is a place for everyone a unique special place.

    As a Christian then is there another dimension to this where we need to question are we prepared to suffer 27 years of imprisonment and or willing to die for a more inclusive world as Mandela did in support of his ideals for equality? In his case he was massively successful in ending the brutal Apartied system or the case of the French revolution young radical Students were also successful in bringing down their government but did die as they slaughtered for opposing such a severe class system which kept the masses down and living in such abject poverty.

    Colette Toland.

  4. At the beginning of this past week, I was sick and unable to do many of my “busy” things, so reading my book and the questions from you, Brynn, and the comments from other and really getting into the blessedness of being able to do this. (My brokenness was opening doors for me.) Then all of a sudden, I allowed the week to get out of control. I was no longer able to have my quiet time or to take time to formulate my thoughts and make a comment of my own. I regret that and hope to have a better week. But though disappointed in my own participation, I have been so blessed to read all of your thoughts and to ponder the excellent questions that have been prepared and that
    come up. Thank you all.

  5. My name is Jack and I live in Minnesota where I work in a chem lab. My wife and I have been blessed with several children and some grandchildren. I participated in the discussion group for the Return of the Prodigal Son. I am hoping to catch up this weekend with the discussion. There are so many taking part! Thank you all for generously sharing your thoughts.
    From the first week: What Fred told Henri … to speak directly … without any apologies: this is a good reminder to have faith in myself, to trust myself and feel the freedom to recognize and follow my true desires. Have I been spending too much time trying to figure out what I really want instead of simply listening to my heart and accepting the obvious … as Fred, who simply wanted to write a novel.
    I found an echo of this idea in the chapter on being chosen. How difficult it would be to quit my job and go after my true desires for which I feel chosen. But what could one do but go for it if the choice is God’s choice for me. I resist this. Not saying that I feel I am a prophet, but similar response to the prophets.
    “Being the Beloved” was all about recognizing and accepting Unconditional Love.
    Romans Ch 8 captures it for me–nothing can separate us from the love of God.
    What can I do to better recognize and accept my Belovedness? First quit wasting time by using entertainment and treats to try to feel good. Second, quit working so hard to prevent and avoid injury. Third, reach out and get more in the game.
    Being chosen or taken scares me. Is one month in advent 2013 going to change my life radically if I take Nouwen seriously in this book? And with this last section on blessedness and brokenness I see these ideas hanging together, since it is fear of more pain, anticipating pain, which is such a powerful force working against my transformations in the direction of my true desires.
    I want to share an experience I had just today, which relates to something Ray shared. I am not catholic but attend mass with my family, and go up with others to communion to receive the blessing that is offered. Today however the person did not understand when I crossed my arms, and gave me no blessing. I was left without an expected blessing! Later I realized it is OK to ask for a blessing, as did the people being served by Henri, rather than just accepting the loss. Next time!
    And as for finding silence and solitude. Like Chuck my mind wanders very quickly. I was doing yoga for a while, and now is a good time to renew that in my life. I believe that the ability to be in silence and solitude will come to me, slowly.

  6. My role as father to two beautiful teen-aged children is difficult- dare I say “broken”. And still as noted above the blessings are plentiful. So it is appropriate to pair these together for this past week. It was a chaotic week, so the 30 min of quiet time with our Lord did not happen. This is suppose this is key. Mother Theresa has been quoted saying when you are too busy to pray, you are too busy.

    I thank all of you for sharing. I have read the comments daily, and carried the thoughts and sentiments with me all week. A real comfort. God bless.

  7. The verses that always gave me great comfort through the years of brokenness and made me feel loved, cherished and a beloved child of God and still do are: Isaiah 43:1, 2. Isaiah 49:15,16.

    May God bless each and everyone.

  8. “…we ask the Father to show us how we can glorify Him through the pain.”

    Amen, and thank you for this reminder (as well as your efforts on behalf of this retreat!)

    How easy it is to forget that suffering is part and parcel of life, and that blessed are those that mourn.

    Lord Jesus, we thank you for your overflowing mercy,

    Judy

  9. This has been such an amazing week of hearing from each of you. Thank you for sharing from your hearts. It has been one of the more difficult weeks, and I admire each of you for engaging it so fully.

    There is so much to ponder this week, but I’ll just share a few thoughts on befriending our brokenness. For many years as a young adult I experienced terrible anxiety. There were times that I found myself completely overwhelmed and on my knees before God. I would literally cry out to Him for help and change. Yet I didn’t want a “poof” it is gone change (well, of course a part of me did!). But a deeper part of me wanted to walk the journey fully so that I could learn how to overcome anxiety, and therefore help others to experience the same. Throughout this long journey these verses would often come to me:

    2 Corinthians 1:
    3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 6 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7 And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

    Similarly, Jesus, in predicting his own death wrote: 27 “Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. 28 Father, glorify your name!” (John 12:27-28).

    Perhaps befriending our brokenness and bringing it under our blessing means deciding that we will not live our brokenness in vain, but rather with all our hearts we ask the Father to show us how we can glorify Him through the pain. This is my current understanding… although I know I still have much to learn.

  10. A final reflection before the new week begins. Sitting with my brokenness this morning, I saw the best part of it all. It is in my brokenness I most desire God. And as I listen to your pouring out your brokenness, I am seeing my brokenness more completely. “Lord, thank you for showing me my brokenness through Ivetta. Thank you for holding up a mirror of who I am through Jonathan and Ray. Thank you for each sister and brother that invites me into her/his world, more specifically into her/his heart when each has opened wide the doors so I am come in. It is in being in each one’s heart and each being in mine that the brokenness is best managed and becomes most blessed.”

    When the Joy candle on the Advent wreath is lit tomorrow, may each of us find joy in being broken and in so doing, become whole in our Lord.

  11. I was thrilled to read of HN’s use of Passage Meditation, which I have used to complement the Jesus Prayer on the recommendation of a monk from Mt. Athos. the instructions are free online: http://www.easwaran.org/complete-instructions- in-passage-meditation-1-meditation-on-a-passage.html

    In choosing passages I have focused on those that speak of God’s love; I can vouch for HN’s assertion that this is so very helpful in coming to feel blessed.

    A blessed weekend to one and all!,

    Judy

  12. I was struck by HN’s references to feeling as if we have lived under a curse rather than a blessing. For some of us that may be literal. For example, in the early experience of child abuse, we may have been told implicitly or explicitly that this kind of treatment is all we will ever be good for. And for many, the abusers were engaged in pacts with the Evil One, quite possibly as a multigenerational legacy.

    In early 2013 a Benedictine nun made aware of the phenomenon of generational sin. Shortly after that a Benedictine Oblate told me of family tree healing. In an online search I then found the extraordinary work of Fr Robert Sears, SJ, Ph.D. (www.familytreehealing.com), which includes a 12 page outline of a prototype workshop titled Introductory Workshop on Healing in Family Systems– http://www.familytreehealing.com/49561.pdf. One of its gifts is the release of what he calls “occult bondage,” i.e., “the influence of curses, or occult practices, witchcraft, Satanism, Masonry, etc.”

    After reading the entire outline of the workshop, (www.familytreehealing.com), I was disappointed that it was not in fact being offered. But I received inner spiritual guidance that I should go ahead with it with Christ as my Facilitator (using the method of Colloquy for our communication, and asking for a sign in cases where I felt the need to confirm His input). Not only did He Himself say the prayers for the release of the occult influences from my ancestry, but he also customized the workshop in a number of ways to fit my particular situation.

    So whereas early abuse may seem to hard wire the brain in ways that seem intractable, Christ showed me that the movements of the Spirit can overcome any and all damage through His love and grace.

    Glory be!,

    Judy

  13. As I read the chapter “Broken,” I was having trouble with accepting Henri’s idea of befriending brokenness. I couldn’t imagine myself making a friend of the pain that went along with some of my own brokenness. Then, when I re-read the chapter “Blessed,” I was struck by Henri’s similar advice to also befriend silence. It occurred to me that perhaps it was in befriending silence that I first began to befriend my brokenness.

    About nine months ago I was first introduced to one way to pray silently, Centering Prayer, as taught by Fr. Thomas Keating and others. This was at a time when I was very much in the mode of denying the brokenness that I was still carrying revolving around the sudden death of my 31-year old son four years previously. I was doing everything I could to run from and distract myself from that pain. What I found when I first began to attempt to be silent and present and open to God, was that those painful feelings and memories of loss were the most persistent intrusions that chattered in my mind and interrupted the silence.

    I tried at first to actively suppress those thoughts, using the tools of a sacred word to bring me back to readiness or imagining the unwanted thoughts floating away on a river. Eventually, though, I learned to worry less about the how and why of those errant thoughts and to just relax into the time of quiet listening. As Henri described, I began to look forward to those quiet moments of allowing myself to be open to God’s presence and love.

    I can’t fully explain it, but I have experienced some unanticipated healing as a result of taking those 20 or 30 minutes out of my day to be present to God. One example was a new understanding I gained while reading the passage in Exodus about Moses’ mother leaving him in the reeds near the river. I had heard or read this story many times in my life, but it took on a new significance. It spoke to me of how one mother put her total trust in God’s ability to care for her son. She placed the infant Moses in that basket, not knowing what would become of him. To me it was an act of love and faith that somehow I could equate to releasing my own son to God’s care.

    Of course, as Brynn noted in her invitation, this has not negated the pure grief I felt at the loss of my son. I can’t imagine there will ever come a time when I don’t carry him in my heart. But somehow in recognizing the truth of God’s love for both me and my son, I think I have found a way to befriend or at least acknowledge the brokenness I was trying so hard to suppress or leave behind. Somehow, acknowledging that broken part of myself has helped me come to a better understanding of the love God wants me to accept and to share with others who also carry some brokenness within their hearts.

    1. Thank you. This was very helpful to me. I think I find myself trying too hard to maintain the quiet as well. Also, in the quiet, I have found A LOT of my brokenness becoming more pronounced. This has not been a fun thing this week though a rather necessary step. Thank you for sharing your journey.

    2. Thanks for sharing. That was beautiful. I am sorry for your loss, and glad you gave found a bit a comfort.

  14. Please know, Ivetta, that your writing on this blog has been received and received well. I believe that your experience is of immeasurable importance in pointing the Church forward. Also, I believe that Pope Francis was called by God to be Pope exactly now because of the seriously wrong situation in the developed countries. I am a member of a small Lutheran church in my community and we have a food pantry which we invite people in to get food without cost. We also ask the recipients of the food–both those who are also members of the congregation and also people from the community all around if they would like to put a prayer request in a little box next to the pantry. We have been praying specifically for each of these people and I especially pray that maybe we will be coming to some other way to live economic lives with each other because, the way things are going, the injustice and unfairness are simply growing out of bounds. At the same time that the mess seems to be going on at the bottom with all of us just regular people, striving to live and take care of our families, for me, there is tremendous comfort and solace that, at the top of the Church, we have a man like Pope Francis who is setting an example and charting a course and trying to steer the Church–the whole Church, including us Lutherans (many of us are paying attention too)–to do something about the situation. Please know you are cared for, Ivetta, and prayed for and listened to on this blog.

  15. I have to say I had a hard time putting this book down! Because of my brokenness I have been better able to receive my blessing by way of other people. It is easy for me to give it but it has been another to receive it. In befriending the brokenness, it has given me a greater desire to sit before a God and dig deeper in his word! The brokenness must be acknowledged and faced before true healing and revelation can take place. Otherwise we would continue I our old behaviors. Placing the brokenness under a blessing removes the burden of the curse and prepares us for our impact on others lives and the purpose God has placed in our hearts. Let me stop here before I start saying so etching about the next section!

  16. How to we get to be the Beloved of God?

    “Each of us is the result of a thought of God. Each of us is willed, each of us is loved. Each of us is necessary”. Benedict XVI

    Note: Posted on Twitter by Fr. Steve Grunow (Word on Fire Ministries)

    Have a blessed weekend.

    Ray

  17. 2013 is coming to an end. For me it was a year full of the feeling of being chosen, blessed a lot, broken into very little pieces and I´m beginning to understand the purpose of this turmoil in my life. We must put all our talents under the hands of God. We need a balance between joy and sorrow in order to be able to look up and love the plans of our Lord. I really want to share what I´m learning in this book with my friends and family. I invite you to follow the example of the Virgin Mary. Her silence, obedience, assertiveness, generosity and compassion are virtues that our society is missing. If you have the oportunity please read the writings of St. Louis Grignon de Montfort.

    1. Liz,
      Thanks for the link to this beautiful video. God truly is in the details and that is something for which we must be grateful.

      I posted video link to Twitter with the following tweet: We can see God in his creation — “What A Wonderful World” With David Attenborough http://youtu.be/auSo1MyWf8g via @youtube”

      Ray

    2. In that wonderful video (thanks, Liz) when all of creation is doing what it is given to do, truly it is a wonderful world. Once when I was sitting in reflection on the wonder of creation, I dared ask, ‘And what is my role in creation?’ The answer I heard was ‘to love’. And when I do, it is a wonderful world.

  18. For me, brokenness is essential to being authentic and truly present to others.

    Until the age of 50, I lived denying any brokenness. I operated from behind shield walls. Walls that had been erected early in life to defend from hurt. These were walls of coping, fixing and never letting anyone down. Just work hard enough, and I’ll fix it.
    But of course, the walls were also my prison, and maintaining the defences was exhausting. I had lost track of the real me, and needed my emotional life and rational self re-integrating.

    Then at the age of 50 the walls crumbled, and the inevitable burnout occurred.
    The disconnected emotional life was now at the fore. I felt hurt keenly, my own hurt, and that of others. Tears that never flowed before, now overtook me for no apparent reason at all. I was broken, pieces dashed on the floor, waiting for the rebuilding to happen. I had learnt to hurt, learnt to be vulnerable and broken.

    Four years on, I’m still vulnerable, still feeling hurt keenly. What a blessing!
    Who wants to be hugged by a person wearing armour? Who wants to relate to someone behind a mask? Who wants to be ministered to, by someone who never seems to hurt? At one point in my rebuilding, there did seem to be a moment of choice, go back to the familiar safety of the defended person, or stick with the pain of brokenness. I chose the latter.

    To be truly authentic, truly present to another, to truly know yourself, and so share that real you with another, you have to know your own brokenness.

  19. The chapter on brokenness is difficult to swallow. But swallowing comes easier if time is spent chewing well. Henri’s thoughts are 180 degrees from what is usually the thinking (what a surprise). When have I ever been told to embrace my brokenness, especially in the community of faith? I seemed to have learned that my brokenness is the source of my ‘badness’. It is the dark side of who I am and to be a Christian it must be eliminated if I am to have any level of credibility as a Christian…or so I seemed to have understood.

    So this morning I sat with Henri’s thoughts of embracing my brokenness. Yes, I am broken and have been fully aware of it all my life. Yet because I am an ordained clergy, I must hide it well (and we get very good at that) because people want to think the minister is perfect…and woe unto him/her if not. Yet as I thought about how my brokenness has impacted me I began to see it as my friend.

    Once a person told me how much he appreciated my preaching because I was not judgmental. And recently at a family wedding, my Jewish nephew told his Jewish friend how much she would like me because I am so nonjudgmental (since Jews know full well the condemnation of Christians, I took that as a high complement). And why is that true of me? I owe it all to my brokenness. Since I know my own brokenness, how can I judge/condemn another person for his/hers?

    Henri brought up the centrality of our sexuality to our being. Struggling with my own sexuality has been a source of agony and heartache. Yet, I have been able to counsel people who come to me with their own sexual problems and I have been able to be empathetic and offer guidance. Further, I have been able to preach and teach wholesome sexuality, a topic that gets little attention while the condemnation of sexual impurity is the primary focus. My broken sexuality has been a big help to me in helping others.

    Being an ordained clergy can easily become an ego trip, standing before people and having that power of influence on their lives. But I am grateful for my brokenness because it keeps me humble. I shudder to think what I would be if I did not know my brokenness as a personal friend.

    I am starting to see Henri’s perspective. Indeed, what would I be if I were not broken. It, too, plays an essential role in enabling me to serve my Lord and others with love. In fact, it may play a major role in that service. Yes, my brokenness is a dear friend. As St. Francis of Assisi would name it, Brother Brokenness.

    (I am also glad to have one of the most common names, Bob, because it frees me to be able to share my thoughts. :-))

  20. Hi, I am first time sharing with you,/ forgive me , please,my mistakes, being originally from Slovakia/ living in Canada for last 20 years.
    I frankly do not know how can I befriend my pain. I try to explain- first 27 years living in communist country, where was so much persecution and not many “freedoms” as you know it here. But what joy I had daily, going daily to the Holy Mass, sharing with other believers secret Bible studies, living in Christ! I was flying- literally above the ground, He gave me the grace to be in love with Him. I had a fear many times from outside forces and from my Dad, who was scared for our safety, so he did not want me to believe. Can someone be told to stop loving Christ in Him? It is impossible!
    Then, later in the college the secret police came for me to question me and took me several times to their building, or somewhere else to make me to cooperate with them- plainly to be a traitor… Couple month later communist were overthrown and democracy came. With it open borders and possibility to come to Canada to work for a year- I didn’t want to go, but others encouraged me to go, so I went…
    Sadly , right from the beginning I experienced, what I call one step before hell. There was suddenly NO love. Just indifference. I worked for 2 years as a live in nanny- taking care of small children in families without love. I didn’t know where to turn, my English being poor and if I should feel more sorry for those unloved children in the families or for myself. So abandoned, so alone, not visible- were the children and me too. I was treated as a servant, many times only as a furniture. And this is not the story only of me- thousands young women , that came here, there was no dignity for us. Just to say,
    it was clear exploitation. I have no idea why I stayed, many women left. Than later on, I met a man, who married me and even harder time started. He loved me, but slowly we discovered both , that he suffered from serious mental disorder and trauma from not being loved, but ignored by his selfish parents. I did not have a clue about any mental disorder. Later on he was diagnosed, medicated and that was it! He was left on my shoulders and we already had 4 children. In the next 18 years , I was not having any support from medical community, his family actually makes only problems, never showed love or care for him, hating me, turning my children against us both. They hate Jesus in the first place. The most sad thing , beside, that my husband is not capable to support me emotionally or financially- he is more like my 5-th child with disabilities,
    is, that never someone reached out from my church and offered friend
    ship, love, help.We are poor, living under poverty line. I didn’t see my sick Mom or my country for 15 years. Never went for family vacations. I have no breaks from the stress and all responsibilities for the whole family. I had a part time job, that I lost earlier this year- my body can’t keep up and I was in chronic pain for long time. I live in fear often. That is my journey. From the food bank to the second hand store, with no future for my children. I have no dignity and lost motivation and joy.
    But there is another part in me and that is my Savior. We talk often, he holds me and walks with me, carrying me mostly on my journey. I love Him the same as in the beginning- He is my First , Last and all in between Love. I can’t go to church daily and believers do not care for me, but He does. I love His love for me and the whole world.
    Praying often for those around me, that can’t see how Jesus suffers in me and other poor , sick, unwanted, those without voice. I do not get the amount of indifference in the church. I never knew this back home. People related to others much deeper way and took God seriously. Do not take it wrongly- I do love my church- there are many saints and loving, caring people helping others. But I see horribly big need in this country and many, many Catholics living so worldly, loving money, while there is so much poverty and hunger and loneliness, just in front of their very eyes daily. Why nobody takes suffering, poor, sick people seriously? How can a women with great family business , having 3 houses with all the luxury, not feel for someone, who has nobody to help with huge family in poverty? I do not mean to judge, but these are Jesus’ words about not feeding him when he was hungry, or not helping when naked, sick, stranger or in prison. He will not know those, that did not know him in suffering neighbor. He is love and calls to love , he gave life for his bride. He want’s us to die daily to ourselves, that He can live in us! The main problem is that I am not only case in BC, but there are 800 000- yes, almost one million poor in BC and NOBODY CARES ENOUGH TO love us properly according Christ love. The whole society can’t do it and I am expected to do it on my own! It is not possible to smile, when I am falling from tiredness, fear and sadness. People have smaller problems and so much support and they are broken. What can I say? If I would leave my husband , my life would be much more easier, but he will become another homeless , sick men, or commit suicide. I am punished with my children by society , because I stayed with him and care for him. It is 21- century and Canada is wealthy country, were many people waste millions on clutter, etc. Active, pure, true love is needed. How can majority Christian LEARN TO FALL IN LOVE WITH GOD AND SAY YES TO HIM, EVEN IFIT WILL COST THEM THEIR LIVES- as it cost Him? Please, consider His call seriously, He is waiting…. I know, that pope Francis is saying the same- calling always to help poor!

    1. Ivetta,
      Your story brings tears to my eyes. I reach out to you with my prayers.
      How can we learn to really love?
      In the West the church (by which I mean us, not the institution), often lives with a foot in the world, and a foot in the kingdom. We want it both ways.
      My own tentative answer to your final question is, –
      Our plenty, our strength, has hardened our hearts. For the kind of love you point to, to be be found in us, in me, then we/I must first be broken.
      God bless you

      1. Hello Ivetta:
        Certainly you are being broken in a very hard way. God will help you discover the purpose of this suffering and will give you a beautiful and important mission. You have been chosen, blessed and broken. The birth of our savior is coming and will help you see clearly why you had to pass many tests in order to be given. You are in a country with no love. Our world is not welcoming love. Jesus also experienced that when he was on Earth. And he transformed a few to help humanity with his Spirit. The heart of Jesus was broken to fill us with the gifts of grace, reconciliation and love. Thank you for your testimony that encourages me to continue in constant prayer and to follow in the path of my own cross.

    2. Ivetta,

      I also want to recognize how incredibly difficult your journey has been. To live in poverty day after day must be extraordinarily exhausting.

      May I also suggest that you have lived something remarkable that many Christians in the western world have never even tasted. Living under persecution, you were so in love with Jesus that you were “flying- literally above the ground.” You lived that very difficult time well.

      I wonder if it would help to ask yourself how you want to live this time. How do you want to love your husband? How do you want to love your children? What kind of neighbour do you want to be? How do you want to serve your church? Because I can tell just from your one post that you are a woman FULL of love to give. You have much richness in you. Much to teach others. I imagine a love like yours could move mountains. And love does not depend on money. In fact, as you saw in those rich families (that you were a nanny for) that the children had all the material things they needed, yet they didn’t have the one thing they truly needed… love. I think you have it in you to give.

      These are only thoughts for you to consider. I don’t know your situation really… but I do not doubt that you have a lot of love in your heart. I hope and pray that in years to come you will find yourself “flying” once again.

    3. Ivetta,

      Reading your story – I can feel how difficult your life has been and my heart goes out to you in a hug and an embrace. It has been even more hard as there has been no comfort from any person nor a time to feel loved and cherished. Your words ” there was no love, just indifference when you worked as a live in nanny brings home the fact that the world today is a materialistic world and a “doing” world, everyone so busy with no time for one another or to “be”. As Henri says its only through prayer and cultivating presence can we learn we are the Beloved children of God each of us unique – thus Ivetta, you are God’s Beloved daughter and very precious in HIS eyes. Though you have such a hard life, feel helpless and unloved, your heart is still compassionate. You know you can have an easier life without your husband but cannot abandon him knowing he will become a homeless. God bless you and from my experience believe HE will be with you as well as give you the inner strength and courage to walk this path.

      I especially liked Brynn’s questions for you to ponder over as you have so much to give to the world with your love. In fact we can all ponder over Brynn’s questions – that in all of our brokenness – how can we love, serve or give to one another?
      May God bless you always.

  21. Okay, so Brynn’s challenge of one half hour each day in God’s presence turned out for me to be a tall order! I haven’t managed five minutes let alone half an hour. But I think in this entire chapter this may be, for me anyway, the key to many things that even go beyond this chapter. Henri Nouwen mentioned that listening in silence we are not going to hear voices, and we may come away thinking that nothing is happening. But something will happen, I am convinced of that.

    Henri Nouwen speaks in other works about the heart, and how God dwells within us, and that is where we will find Him. That time in silence is not going to create any instant epiphanies, but over time, I can see big benefits.

    The one time I did try this in the past it was a complete disaster. If my mind didn’t immediately wander off to something else and didn’t start cranking away on all kinds of thoughts, I simply fell asleep! Did anyone else out there try this? How did you go about doing so? How did it work for you?

    Thanks!

    Chuck

  22. When I first engaged this week’s reading I assumed we were doing ‘blessed’ now and ‘broken’ in the future. Gasp! But they are combined, as in life! On blessing: my wife was once really impressed by hearing in the sacrament of reconciliation the priest tell her, “you are a daughter of the king.” In the last days I had a few occasions to more richly bless persons. On broken: Henri so well leads us into this part of our life experience and urges us to find the brokenness within our even deeper reality as Beloved. On page 97 of the 2013 Crossroad edition he writes: “This is not as easy as it sounds.” Amen. For me quiet prayer is how the foundational reality of Beloved emerges and I hope continues to encompass my brokenness. I think this is part of my work of discipleship. In the Americas we celebrated the lovely feast of Our Lady of Guadeloupe on Thursday. Mary is a model for us and companion for us in saying yes as Beloved.

  23. In the chapter on Blessed (p. 73-74) Henri writes to Fred, “I know how moody you and I can be… These mood swings show that we no longer hear the blessing… The sense of being cursed often comes more easily than the sense of being blessed and we can find enough arguments to feed it….” This certainly is something that I can readily identify with with.

    What Henri writes later in the chapter has become very meaningful to me since it seems to address that moodiness and the uncertainty that I can experience in my life. He writes (p.81-82): “Not claiming your blessedness will lead you quickly to the land of the cursed. There is little or no neutral territory between the land of the blessed and the land of the cursed. You have to choose where it is you want to live, and that choice is one you have to keep making from moment to moment.”

    God created us out of his infinite love and God wants us to share in his blessed life for all eternity. Archbishop Desmond Tutu said it this way, “We were made by God to be like God and we are made for God.” Or, as Henri keeps reminding us, we are the Beloved. God sent Jesus to redeem all mankind and to show us the way. And Jesus said to the apostles, as he says to us, “Come follow me.” But, and this is crucial, God gave us free will and we have to choose to follow Jesus and God’s call.

    St.Paul is challenging us to make good choices when he writes to the Ephesians, “I, then,… urge you to live in a manner worthy of the call you have received…” We have been called the Beloved. Now we must choose to claim our blessedness, to accept that we are the Beloved, even when the world may try to say otherwise. Sharing this Advent journey is better equipping me to make the right choice.

    I’m looking forward to continuing next week.

    Ray
    Twitter: @RayGlennon

  24. Today I spent time with Henri’s thoughts on prayer and cultivation of presence. These two practices I was introduced to about 20 years ago. In so doing, my faith grew by leaps and bounds. But inevitably over time, the spiritual exercises can become too familiar to the point I am not as fully engaged mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I appreciated these words this morning and recreated the practice of engaging them in a way that draws me to the blessedness to which I am called. One of many things I so much appreciate about Henri is his total awareness of our humanity and how it causes our spirits to ebb and flow in engaging our Lord. But in the fashion of a true shepherd, Henri gently and lovingly invites us back to listening to Him. And it is good to be back.

  25. Brynn asks us this week “how do we befriend our pain?” A fortnight ago I had 4 days of quiet and during those days I became aware of my brokenness in a significant part of my life. I was wondering if I needed to seek a therapists to deal with it. Instead in this prayerful space I engaged in a “conversation” with this area of brokenness and dialogued with it in my journal. The process I used was that of a “courageous conversation” although I suspect other processes could also be used (I see parallels with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). In my journal I described the pain, I identified my feelings around this area of brokenness, I articulated how it was impacting on my life, how I continue to feed the sense of inadequacy and expressed my desire to bring healing to this place of woundedness. I began to envisage how things could be different if this pain was no longer burdening me. Then I invited the place of pain to respond. From this two invitations arose. 1) I could accept that this brokenness is part of who I am, that I am loved and beloved in and with this wound, and that in suffering this pain I am able to be one with others who suffer. 2) I could invite God to transform my pain. To heal me, to free me.
    Then I began to see myself as the woman with the haemorrhage, who reached out to Jesus knowing if she just touched his clothing she would be healed. At that point I knew that my brokenness was being transformed. For me this was a very powerful experience of both befriending my pain and developing the trust that God will give me the strength to stand in my pain, and the ability to stand with others in their pain.
    This experience was and continues to be a rich blessing. Yes I am beloved, wounded and beloved!

    1. Liz,
      Thank you for this moving and hopeful sharing.

      It seems to me to be a wonderful example of what Henri meant when he wrote, “But when we keep listening attentively to the voice calling us the Beloved, it becomes possible to live our brokenness, not as a confirmation of our fear that we are worthless, but as an opportunity to purify and deepen the blessing that rests upon us.”

      And your experience is a beautiful demonstration that what Henri is suggesting can be our reality

      Peace and all good.
      Ray

  26. This time last year I was in a place of an overwhelming sense of brokenness. I seemed to alternate between the extremes Henri mentions, and so decided to take a break from my work and many of the things I was involved in. This whole year I have used that ‘drawing aside’ kind of prayer – written about by John Main, whom I so admire. I would not say I have been very good at it – many distractions – but have tried each day to draw aside for 20 mins morning and evening and just ‘be’ in the presence of God – using one word repeated ‘maranatha’. I have not had any periods of depression this year – amazing for me – and have come to crisis moments in a different way. In the past I think my ‘default’ response was to panic – especially when things affected one of my daughters – but now I am trying at those times to hang on to the peace within me. Not easy I know, but it has so helped me. I wonder if that has been something of putting my pain under a blessing?
    I think, also, it is about trusting God’s presence in those times – I used to think ‘Ah, this is horrendous….please rescue me from this’. Now I am trying to hear the voice within that says ‘What if you knew now that ‘all will be well’? What if you knew that God will carry you through this ?’ And in that I am trying to trust God a bit more instead of doing it in my own strength.

    And, as Henri expresses so well, I have also been much blessed by being involved in L’Arche. To go there and be always welcomed with open arms , smiles, hugs and ‘Ja-net!’ was, and is, for me, an embracing of the whole of me – not because of anything I had done or not done, but just because of the whole of me – messy bits and all.
    Another way L’Arche have had an impact on me, is the way they celebrate birthdays – really celebrating and giving thanks to God for the life of that special person – not necessarily through expensive gifts, but through coming together and giving thanks and having fun. To me that is one way we can really celebrate each other’s blessedness. I have known a few people who find that their birthday is a difficult time because they cannot really , fully, accept their blessedness and specialness.

    What I am finding doing this book reflection – is that sitting with my belovedness, I am also coming to love Jesus more. Maybe that is obvious – but it is a lovely thing these last few days – I was reading Song of songs – and that sense that the Lord is my ‘beloved’ has grown more powerful for me, as I have opened myself to seeing myself as his beloved.

    (Finally, just a practical thing which doesn’t really matter – but just to say that my page numbers don’t match up with the ones here. Either it is an old copy, or a UK version – and is not important but thought it might be worth mentioning. )

  27. This morning, while pondering these posts and the blessings of affirmation Henri wrote about, I was reminded of Christmas blessings from years ago. Back then, our extended family’s custom was to celebrate Christmas at my parents’ home. My family of five, my sisters and their families, and my parents made for a rather chaotic and noisy celebration with lots of food, games and sitting around my Mom’s brightly decorated living room to exchange gifts.

    I recall one year in particular when I was worried about the gift exchange part of our celebration. I wanted to give each person something special as a token of my love, but had very little money. At the time I was attending college (as a mature returning student) and doing lots of writing for my classes. Somehow, all that writing gave me the idea that I could write about what it was that I held dear about each family member, and that could be my gift to them.

    I wrote a page about each person, noting their generosity or humor or caring attitude or whatever it was that made them a unique and special member of our extended family. I typed the pages up on a low-tech word processor, printed them, and attached the pages into colorful cardstock folders. I wrapped them in tissue paper and tied them with curling ribbon. Each person got their own booklet filled with what was special about themselves and the other members of the family. Even the rowdy pre-teen and teen boys seemed to be touched by the words of appreciation I had shared.

    Many years of life have been lived since that long-ago Christmas. The passage of time has brought a mix of struggles, successes, happiness, grief, gains and losses. Four of the family members that received those booklets are now gone from this earth and the rest of us are widely scattered across the country. Some have left through divorce and new family members have been added through marriage. New generations have been born.

    Over all those intervening years, there have been periods when I became ensnared in sadness and regret surrounding the losses and some unwelcomed changes that have occurred in my life. I still get caught up in that type of thinking on those “bleak and dull” kinds of days Henri mentions. But Henri’s words this morning reminded me that I can open my heart to God’s love each day in prayer. I can be present to the evidence of his blessings as I move through my days. I can choose to focus on the blessings and love that God persistently gives me and not on the curses that the world sometimes throws my way. Advent, as I await the arrival of the beloved child, seems the perfect time to make that choice.

  28. What a chapter on Brokenness. Romans 8:28 has always bothered me, but it is true that God can bring good out of anything-a blessing. At 71, a retired pastor and presently a spiritual director, have been broken through abuse, divorce, abandonment, loss of job and loved ones, God has used all to bring me so close to His heart. While on these dark journeys, I certainly could not comprehend any possible good or blessing coming from any of them. Healing is an on going process of being carried by the Holy Spirit and community of believers, and seeking professional help. Also I had to learn to receive the blessings in a variety of forms from numerous others. I don’t understand suffering, but I know without a doubt, the Lord has carried me. Henri’s statement, ” The first step to healing is not a step away from the pain, but a step toward it.” How true but so very difficult and long, but does bring freedom. What a gift Henri gave me in this most vital chapter of the book.

  29. The two chapters this week speak directly to my personal experience. Growing up as the eldest son in a dysfunctional home in the 1950s and 60s, I did not hear the words that Henri heard spoken by the father at the Bar Mitzvah “…always remember how much your mother and I love you.” Consequently, I learned to “do something” to receive the affirmation of those I came in contact with at Church, in school, and in the neighborhood. I often felt that I “didn’t fit in” or “wasn’t good enough” — both attitudes that carried well into adulthood and middle age. Although I have always been active in parish activities, youth sports, and religious education, at that time is was largely because I was looking for affirmation–and seeking that affirmation in the church probably shows that I was also faintly aware of God’s call. When Henri writes, “I know you feel a little low these days and that there is some sadness in your heart…” or “I know how moody you and I can be…”he could be writing about me at that time and, to a lesser extent, in the present.

    A little more than a decade ago, my marriage of 28 years ended after many years of increasing distance and tension between my wife and me leading to a irreconcilable breach to which my behavior contributed. It was at this time of brokenness that I felt, in a deeper way than I ever had previously, the blessing that Henri speaks of. One Sunday at Mass I walked to the altar with my youngest son for him to receive Communion and when I declined to receive, the priest simply placed the sign of Cross on my forehead and said “God bless you.” Something so simple, yet the impact on me was profound and I began to tear up. I genuinely felt God’s love at a time when I was still in need of further conversion. At the same time I was blessed to find Henri Nouwen’s Return of the Prodigal Son after Mass in Singapore. The blessing that the father provided to his prodigal son flowed directly to me and contributed to my conversion and healing. Several years later, after a long, painful, and ultimately blessed journey that included receiving a decree of nullity for my first marriage, that same priest was one of the two celebrants at the Nuptial Mass where my beloved wife Dawn and I were married (the other celebrant was Dawn’s brother).

    Considering Henri’s two suggestions to claim our blessedness–Prayer and Attentive Presence–both are areas where I want to improve. My one regular prayer time is on my 60 minute morning commuter bus ride to work–which means that on Fridays when I work at home and on weekends I often don’t take the time for focused prayer. The “Glory Be…” is a prayer that helps keep me focused during prayer time. Throughout the day I will often stop and silently say “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God and Son of Mary, …have mercy on me a sinner or …be with me today and always.” My prayer life is something that is better than it was in the past and I know I am called to deepen. And I have difficulty doing so out of the fear that I “won’t be good enough.” Even at age 63, old bad habits (or curses) die hard. But just writing this helps. Turning to attentive presence, for much of my life I was one of those that was reluctant to accept the blessings that were given to me and, if I am honest, it was because I really didn’t think I deserved the blessing because “if they really knew me” they would walk away. As a result of the blessings I have experienced in the past few years, especially in my marriage to Dawn, I am becoming much more accepting of the blessings that I am offered. And it is a blessing to be blessed.

    Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” Henri might propose a corollary that says, “Bless your neighbor as you accept the blessings bestowed on you.” In both cases we must know we are Beloved and Blessed before we can share our love or blessings with others.

    It is a blessing to be able to share reflections on this book with you this Advent.

    Ray

    1. Ray, I walked with you today as you bared your heart and soul. There were several points along the way with which I could so identify. I, too, am 63 and so much of what you said about growing up, not being told I was loved, and trying to earn affirmations would describe me as well. As I look back, was it not a very prevalent mentality in our culture that produced it? Your thought, ‘old habits (curses) die hard’ so resonated within me. As I made my way through the 30’s and 40’s, so much of what I did was for the purpose of getting affirmation. And here I am in my 60’s, and that ‘demon’ can still rear its head in a time of spiritual weakness. But as I have moved more to all that Henri is talking about, I have been responding to people out of pure love and finding affirmation in the impact love has upon their life. That sort of affirmation is much purer in nature because it truly brings peace and joy to my soul. There is hope I just might get it someday. 🙂 God be with you!

    2. And we have been blessed by your sharing Ray! For me, in sharing my pain with people who will stand with me in my pain, allows the pain to be transformed. While fearing being rejected, ignored, despised and left alone, useless, worthless, unappreciated and unloved (to use Henri’s words), when I share from this vulnerable place with someone I trust, I discover that I am still accepted, regarded, included, embraced, valued, appreciated and loved. The healing starts and the pain is transformed. Yet all too often the fear actually becomes the block. In my own experience and in the lives of those I minister to, I see that rather than embrace the brokenness, embrace the pain, we try various ways to numb it, frequently using alcohol, other drugs or other addictive behaviours.

      1. Thank you for your insight. I can attest that in my life “fear actually becomes the block” as well.

        Ray

  30. Becoming aware of those who do bless me, I try to take a second to take the blessings in that come to me. Being broken has been so easy to let myself dwell on for much to much time is used on thinking of my brokenness. At this time I have a very hard time with the money spent on shopping. In Henri chapter he felt broken by all the natural beauty destroyed by malls and big retail stores. This is so sad how a beautiful celebration of the birth of our Lord and savior has such a price tag on… this is broken spirituality that makes me so sad.

  31. As I have been thinking about being the beloved of God – the lyrics of a beautiful song written by General John Gowans of The Salvation Army came to mind:

    Have you ever stopped to think how God loves you?
    It sounds quite incredible, and yet it’s true.
    Nothing on this earth or in the heavens above
    Is as sure and certain as God’s love.

    Chorus
    O it’s as high as the sky and it’s as deep as the sea,
    And it’s as wide as the world, God’s love for you and for me.
    We can’t escape his love, or take ourselves out of his care,
    So where could we hide from his love?
    His love is everywhere.

    2.
    Everything is changing in the world today,
    There’s one thing reliable in every way,
    Other things may alter but it’s clear and plain
    That the love of God is just the same.

    3. Wider than the human mind can realize,
    His love is unlimited and never dies;
    Though we don’t deserve it, every day it’s new;
    That’s the love of God for me and you.

  32. If you could only read one book about Christianity, this chapter would about sum it all up for me. p 74 Feeling like victims in a world we cannot change,. p. 73 seems almost like a personal description of myself – “One day we feel great, the next we feel miserable. One day we are full of new ideas, the next everything looks bleak and dull. ”

    Living with chronic Migraine helps me to really notice and enjoy the blessings that I receive. I am always surprised at how blessings come when I need them most.

    p. 82 “The blessed one always blesses. And people want to be blessed!……As the “blessed ones” we can walk through this world and offer blessings. ” What a great challenge for this Advent Season and following into the new year.

    This is an incredibly encouraging and hopeful chapter. Thanks

    1. Marianne, I have prayed to St. Luke, the physician, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph for you with chronic migraine. Migraines plagued me for many years and eventually Saints and situations improved it immensely. May it improve for you also and quickly.

  33. To be perfectly honest, it is very difficult to see the blessing in a struggle. It doesn’t make sense to try to avoid the challenges of the struggle and/or just “gloss” over it as a blessing. Indeed, looking at struggles as blessings is very hard work. We have to turn the thing upside down on its head and look at it with new eyes. I pray for the strength to do this.

    1. Denise, thank you for acknowledging that allowing our struggles to become blessing is HARD work. Often, we can’t see the blessing for a long time (“and you will see my back.” Ex 33:23). But, as you say, we pray for the strength to look through new eyes, and for the grace to know that the pain we may be in will give way to greater glory. Thank you!

  34. Janet being blessed on p.70 was so comforting and joyful to my heart as I have been blessed through the power of the Holy Spirit through the laying on of hands and hugs. Our Lord hugs me in so many ways-food, shelter, heat, good health but most of all through His unconditional love and grace everyday. I find the more I praise Jesus the more I can be a blessing to someone. Just praying over the phone with a hurting heart on the other end blesses me. What a blessing to be part of this “Beloved Community” as we study and grow together in Christ.

  35. Yes I can and do acknowledge and give thanks for the blessings I have received (although no doubt I could be more attentive to these) but for me the challenge is to be public about acknowledging blessings. In part this reticence stems from some of my Catholic baggage. Apart from Grace before meals, the public bestowing of blessings has generally been restricted to the clergy. In most Catholic sacristies there would be a large book of blessings for all sorts of occasions and for various items, but these are usually bestowed by the ordained. I note that my Protestant colleague chaplains do not share my reticence. I need to leave this baggage behind and claim my authority to public bless others in big and small ways. Whether that be in an incidental conversation with someone or more formally when I lead Sunday Chapel service inside the jail. I notice that while I confidently lead the men in worship, my confidence wanes and my embarrassment increases as I move to the final blessing. Maybe in part there is a sense of not being worthy. Hopefully as I continue to reflect upon “The Life of the Beloved” I can allow myself to be “the beloved” in these moments of blessing. Maybe this advent is offering me the invitation to invite God to help me develop this growing edge. Maybe this week is inviting me to bless others, sometimes silently, sometimes quietly, sometimes publicly. And to more confidently call upon God to bless the community that gathers in worship.

    1. LIz, trust God for the words to say. Sometimes presence is enough. You’re obviously there for a reason. Most people want to hear the same kind of blessings you want to hear yourself. “We’ve all made mistakes, God forgives us. “

    2. Liz, I am on the other end of it all. I am the ordained one leading in worship and pronouncing the benediction at the end. I will confess that too often the words are spoken in ritualistic fashion while the people are putting the hymnals away and getting on their coats. No wonder Janet responded to Henri the way she did and she was so right (what these people may lack physically, they more than make up for spiritually). After a blessed time in the presence of God, is not the blessing (benediction) the putting of the crown on the heads of those before us? Might that be the high point of the service after all we have received? And it is not about having the ‘externals’ (ordination as such) to place this crown, it is about possessing the blessing within and speaking whatever words we use to share with them from what we are. It is becoming one with them as Janet (and the rest) did with Henri. That is a true benediction (blessing).

      1. Thank you Marianne and Bob, as I read your responses I am reminded “Martha, Martha, you worry and fret about so many things, in fact only one is important. Mary has chosen well”. Mary chose attentive presence over becoming preoccupied with doing and getting things right. I pray that I can be present and respond wholeheartedly as Janet invited Henri to do. Thank you. Liz

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