Week 1: March 5th – 11th

Reading:  Chapters 1 and 2

Welcome!  In the introductions from last week we heard from many hearts desiring to go deeper in their relationship with the Lord.  Some shared the very clear way God led them to this discussion.  Others shared how very personal experiences drew them to this book.  The Holy Spirit clearly has a plan for each one, and we pray that he has His way in all of our hearts throughout this discussion.

1 ) In many ways these two chapters are context to help us prepare for the weeks ahead.  We are introduced to Adam, and come to understand many of the challenges he faced in life, as well as one or two of the tragedy’s he experienced.  Yet we also see how he was a blessing to his family; “he was such a gentle soul, and we loved to have him with us” wrote his Dad (p34).

a) We invite you to consider “Who is your Adam?”  Who is someone in your life that has been a blessing to you, who has spoken to you about God out of their place of vulnerability?
b) You are invited to share with us a little bit about your relationship with “your Adam” (keeping the person’s privacy in mind).

2 ) From the Introduction, we know that Henri is writing this book out of his question, “What do I believe?”  In Chapter two we are reminded of the “message coming to us from our world that leads us to believe that we must prove our belovedness…” (p 37, emphasis added)

a) What does the Bible tell us about the truth of our Belovedness? (Please share to remind yourself and others!)
b) Do you believe it for Adam?
c) Do you believe it for yourself?
d) If there is a difference between your answers to b and c, what is the difference?

3) Sue did a wonderful job of filling in the story of Adam’s early life.  Did anything stand out to you, or speak to you, as you read through this simple story of Adam’s early life?  

As is always the case, these questions are offered to help facilitate our discussion, but please don’t feel bound to them or limited by them.  Feel free to share whatever comes up for you in the reading.

Ray and Brynn

 

63 Replies to “Week 1: March 5th – 11th”

  1. When I ponder the phrase that it is more important in being rather than in doing, it is when I am with someone who is dying . As a palliative care volunteer that is our mission and the most rewarding experience, I feel rewarded and blest to be chosen to do that. I under stand perfectly Henry’s friendship with Adam. Also, we were blest with a granddaughter who lived 16 years but never grew beyond an infant physically or mentally. Megan was a blessing to us all. Even before I met Adam I would say that Megan was like a Jesus, she gave love and received love, and she shone in our lives.

    1. I agree with you, Ann…Sitting and praying “with” my husband’s dying grandma taught me that…I know now she heard me and is smiling from heaven! Many things have pointed to that…I truly feel God called me to be at her side that night before she died so she would have someone to physically be there for her…

  2. Wow…am absolutely overwhelmed after reading all these beautiful insights…and seeing that they came from all over the world! It is so refreshing to see that, in spite of what the news reports…there ARE people who live as beloved children of God…not destroying, but uplifting others…
    Thank you, all, for taking risks, for being vulnerable, and for experiencing this book with me…YOU are my “Adams”…
    I am so thankful to God that he continually introduces me to new people that I can learn from on this faith journey…God bless you all!

  3. I live in Montgomery, NY and am a father to a 30 year old disabled son who is very much like Adam. We were told that Brad wouldn’t live past 2-3 years old but he has surprised everyone. He can’t walk, talk, feed himself, toilet himself, get dressed, or bathe and he is legally blind. Brad has had a very difficult life and has suffered much, but I love him dearly and that is a lesson for me.

    I love Brad for who he is, not what he can or can’t do. He can do nothing to earn my love but also nothing to lose it. I change his diaper, I clean up his spills, I wipe his nose, and I still love him. It reminds me that God loves me, no matter the mess I make in life. That has been a hard lesson for me because I have made some spectacular messes and have felt very unlovely.

    Adam’s parents demonstrated the same kind of unconditional love that God has for each of us, even though we all are broken. What a beautiful picture! It’s one I need to be reminded of daily.

  4. Friends,
    Speaking to his disciples in his Last Supper Discourse, Jesus addresses the truth of our belovedness saying, “As the Father loves me, so I also love you. Remain in my love…This is my commandment: love one another as I love you.” (John 15:9,12). Jesus, the Son of God who heard at his own baptism, “You are my beloved son” tells us that he (God) loves us as the Father (God) loves him. As St. Thomas taught, love is willing the good of the other, and Jesus commands us to do just that. Which leads to one of my favorite Scripture passages, “I, (Paul), a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to live in a manner worthy of the call you have received…” We are called to be the beloved… and to live our belovedness by loving one another. By his presence, words, actions in their midst, Jesus taught his disciples to love. It is for that reason that Henri’s pairing of Jesus and Adam is so powerful–we find Jesus in the people we meet on our journey, as many of you have beautifully shared this week.

    My Adam, the person who spoke to me about God, was a wonderful Christian counselor named Martha that worked with me for several years during the most difficult and damaging period in my life. (It was during this same period that I found Nouwen’s The Return of the Prodigal Son.) I simply want to acknowledge the important role she played in my life by showing me the Father’s love.

    May the Lord give you peace.

    Ray

  5. I love Curtis’ question re how we cultivate hearing the message of our belovedness over and again. That struggle is central to my life and easily sabotages living into my true self and living out my true call. For me it takes a consistent/persistent choice to hear God’s message of my belovedness over and against the siren voices of the world calling me to perform and please people. A practice that helps me is seeing God seeing me. Ignatius invites us to stand in front of where we are about to meditate with heads held high and ask the question: “How does God see me?” Not to reherse how others see me or even how I see myself, but “how does God see me?” Though counterintuitive to the world, that intentional movement from seeing myself through the eyes of others to seeing myself through the eyes of God is a corrective lens that reminds me of my infinite worth but with finite capabilities. Its a movement from self-image into God’s image.

    1. Beverly:

      This is beautifully written and speaks right to the heart of this entire discourse.

      Thank you.

    2. Beverly, thank you for the insight into our “belovedness;” I am going to practice what you shared…beautiful! I too, am a recovering “people pleaser” and understand your struggle…so does Jesus, and he will continue to love us through! God Bless!

  6. Pg 39
    “We become preoccupied with “making it” in this life, and we are very slow to grasp the liberating truth of our origins and our finality. We need to hear the message announced and see the message embodied, over and over again. Only then do we find the courage to claim it and to live from it. ”

    Since I’m new to online discussions, I’m not sure what the “rules” are in terms of asking you all for your thoughts , but wondered if anyone had any thoughts how to cultivate Henri’s idea of hearing the message of our belovedness over and over again.

    1. One of the things Henri talks about in some of his book is the practice of spiritual disciplines. My understanding of these is not some complicated ritualistic practice, but simply learning to be more open and receptive to God’s presence within ourselves and in and among those with whom we share community. In chapter one of “Adam…” Henri wrote, “Adam did not have to practice the spiritual disciplines to become empty for God.” I think what Henri may have meant by this is that Adam, as one who was completely dependent on the care of others, lived in a constant state of receptivity.

      Henri’s book, “Making All Things New” focuses on his understanding of the spiritual disciplines of solitude and community. He wrote, “Through the disciplines of solitude and community we try to remove – slowly, gently and persistently – the many obstacles which prevent us from listening to God’s voice …” In this book Henri writes about learning, through the practice of these two disciplines, to recognize God’s spirit “within and among us.”

      I can’t remember if I was introduced to “Making All Things New” through a discussion on this site or if I simply read it on my own. Regardless of that, now it seems a good companion book for me to re-read with, “Adam, God’s Beloved.” Thanks for your question, Curtis, that led me to taking a closer look at the continuity of Henri’s thought in these two books.

    2. Hi Curtis
      This is my first discussion group and my first reply!!
      To me my Belovedness is a dynamic evergrowing relationship. A deep knowing we are loved and accepted for who we are, yet there is always more. Once we have accepted this gift no one or nothing can take it from you. It is a homecoming to yourself becoming a gift to the world around us. Keep reading Henri’s works, keep your childlikness alive, laugh more, see thejoy in everyday things be grateful. I have a large pucture of the Return of the Prodigal Son in my living room the remind me of my Belovedness. Henri’s book The Return of the Prodigal Son is a must read!

    3. Perhaps I may be of some assistance. Henri wrote in Bread for the Journey about discipline and discipleship (Feb. 27, henrinouwen.org/meditation/creating-space-god/ ). My saying “it is through discipline and discipleship” is not very likely to be helpful. That would be merely changing one category – repeated hearing – for another. I have found that, to grow in discipline and discipleship, I require regular face-to-face interaction with a human spiritual director. This is a person with whom I can talk the talk, and whom I observe walks the walk. My director forbids me to linger in my spiritual comfort zone. He is available when life has its ups, its downs, its flats.

      Where did I find such a person? In my faith and spiritual community. So I had to take the risk of being part of a community, a fellowship of seekers with whom I (eventually) found commonality. Entering community and remaining there is no simple or easy thing; I found it was and is critically important to what you ask.

    4. Thanks to each of you for your thoughtful replies to Curtis’ thought-provoking question. Exchanges like this are what make these book discussions so rewarding.
      Ray
      P.S. My apologies for the delay in getting them posted. I was driving most of the morning.

    5. Curtis, you might find Henri’s book with M. J. Christensen and R. J. Laird helpful. On page 36 there is an exercise called Going Deeper. The suggestion is to pray, sitting comfortably with the following statements for 10 minutes each:
      “Jesus, You are the Beloved,” “Jesus, I am the Beloved,” “Jesus we (all) are the Beloved.”
      The instructions suggest you spend the time with the first statement in non-verbal praise and thanksgiving. During the second statement, let the truth of your belovedness settle in. And during the third statement, open your heart to everyone, excluding no one.

      Using this prayer was suggested to me some years ago by my spiritual director and I have found it to be a healing prayer.

  7. I was called to start this book a little before Lent. I am preparing for a week long silent retreat at a local Abbey next week. As I journal each morning I am realizing why I am reading this book and seeing in my notes the plan that God has for me next week. I look forward to the silence and the lack of interruptions from phones, Tv, computer, etc. I pray daily for this unique opportunity to grow during this week. I also relate to Adam in some ways as we have a grandchild who has CP and uses a walker. I have been amazed by some of his conversations about God and how God talks to him. These memories always help me accept things easier and not become so organized and controlling. I still am humbled by the very thought of God’s unconditional love.

  8. The image that keeps returning to my mind after reading the first two chapters is of Adam hanging, tummy down with legs dangling from the edge of a picnic table, waiting for his mom to find and rescue him. For me, the scene is reminiscent of those innocent, hide-and-seek games of childhood that my boys never tired of when they were toddlers. I recall their delight and laughter each and every time they were found.

    I think the joy of those kinds of early childhood games is the reassurance that comes with ultimately being found. Henri wrote that Adam’s posture of waiting on that picnic table became a “dominant characteristic of his life.” That lifetime of waiting, hard to imagine in the degree to which Adam experienced it, then becomes for me a vivid lesson in keeping faith in our Father’s ability to find each one of his beloved children.

  9. I have again been reminded of Henri’s comments both in his writings and in person, that the main beneficiary of loving is the giver, not the recipient!

  10. I have read many of Henri’s wonderful books starting with “Return of the Prodigal Son” and I believe that I am not far off the mark when I say that the heart of Henri’s spiritual journey centered on his discovery that God loves each and every one of us unconditionally. It appears to me that the story of Adam is a tableau of Henri’s day to day relationship with a silent but incarnate Christ in the form of this most vulnerable of human beings whose silence almost mocked the emptiness of the busy-ness of life around him.

    It is wonderful to read many of the warm and tender encounters which many here have had with their own Adam. But I can’t help but struggle against a different sort of feeling about all of this whenever I recollect my own life with parents who had grown bitter and angry at the very fact that their first child had been injured while in the birth canal and consequently never learned to speak or sit up, and had to receive constant care up until the time of her death at the age of two and a half years. Judging from some of the old photos which I recently collected for a family slideshow, I would surmise that this little girl was dearly loved and cared for — my parents would not put her in an institution but chose to care for her themselves. When the pity of others became to great for them to bear, they moved to a farm in New York State where, in 1947, they buried their daughter… my sister. I was 2 at the time.

    The result of all this was not so much sadness, compassion, and love; it was a lasting and acrid bitterness, especially from my father who, having lost his own father at an early age, had come to believe that God hated him and had cursed his life.

    There were times in my life that I had come to believe the same about myself… in my prayers I would often hear myself expressing the thought that my dead sibling was really the lucky one as it was I who now had to endure from an early age both physical and verbal abuse, anger, and hostility from a man who felt totally defeated by life and discarded by a very distant God.

    So these are the thoughts that move me now when I read the story of Adam, God’s Beloved. I thank each of you who may have taken the time to read this; to you it may be just a sad story… but to me it is a balm for the soul to be able to relate my story and fully embrace the pain which it engenders. Thank you.

    1. I want to thank you for your courage in sharing your story. It took a great deal of energy for you to do this but I want to know that I support you because I can relate to your story from my own personal experience. Reading Henri’s books when I was in a very vulnerable state myself helped me to see and know deep in my heart that God was with me in my pain. Henri was so open about his pain and the fact that he was a wounded healer helped me to gain the strength I needed also. Henri became one of my wisdom figures. Through counseling I was able to let go of the negative baggage I carried with me and was able to finally forgive my parents for their failures that affected me so now I have energy to support others in their journey.

      1. Thank you Sue; you have no idea how much your thoughts and words mean to me. I can certainly identify with your struggle to reach that sacred place within where you can forgive your parents for pain inflicted upon your beautiful inner child. I suppose it can rightly be said that I am in the sunset of my years (72); my father and mother have been deceased for many years now… but my personal struggle with my own inner demons continues as I seek release from the bonds of self-loathing and anger… all this despite many years of professional therapy. Certainly Father Nouwen’s many wonderful writings in which he shares his own pain have been a true blessing to me… but no more so than your wonderful and kind words to me today.

        Thank you and may God bless.

        1. Our parents can leave so many deep scars, only God can heal them. Lord, Hear our Prayers, Heal Anthony’s heart as you have healed Sue. Thank you, Lord, for giving us this time and place to help and heal with our brothers and sisters in Christ. Amen

    2. Anthony,
      Thank you for your heartfelt and difficult sharing. Echoing the words of St. Francis, may the Lord give you peace through the story of Adam. May his story remind you (and each of us) that we are all the beloved sons and daughters of the Father.
      Ray

    3. Anthony Paul,
      Your story brought tears to my eyes…I hear the same reaction as your father from my brother in law, whose daughter died from a cord accident, just three days after she was born into this world.
      He doesn’t even pay attention to her twin brother, left here, needing his love…
      My question is how to convince people who feel permanently abandoned by a God that is supposed to NEVER forsake them, that they are beloved…
      I turn to Mary, who saw her son tortured and crucified, yet continued to believe in a loving God, when it made no sense…convinced there was more to the story…
      I am going to continue to pray that some day, he will see the truth, that he was not abandoned, but God was there all along…just as for your father…waiting with open arms for them to come home… and hold them in their pain…I pray you feel his loving arms around you now, making up for what your earthly father could not give…

      1. Gina,

        I am so sorry to hear about your brother in law’s loss of his own daughter. Surely, losing a young child will always leave an indelible mark on one’s soul. As we have discovered, such a tragedy can cause so much pain beyond the people whom it touches most closely. Without a doubt, this is a very rocky and difficult path upon which our feet are set.

        But having said as much, I feel that I am privileged to offer a most heartfelt “thank you” to everyone participating in this forum either by actively offering comment or those who are reading and offering prayers on our behalf. To each of you who have offered personal words of love: Sue, Connie, Ray, and Gina, let me assure you that your words of consolation and compassion carry a great deal of power … to sooth, to heal, and to restore each of us in our own need. Truly, God is in this place.

  11. From Ashley McCarthy
    Hi! I am Ashley McCarthy from Roswell, GA and like a few others, I’m joining this online discussion a little behind schedule. This is my first online discussion and I look forward to experiencing it. I am a first grade teacher’s assistant at a Catholic elementary school in Roswell, GA and came to read Adam: God’s Beloved through my religion coordinator. She passed the information along about this book as a way to enhance our Lenten journey. This is my first introduction to Henri Nouwen, and what I’ve read about him online since purchasing the book indicates that he was a remarkable person. After reading the introduction and forward, I am anxious to continue with the story and to see if I’m able to answer or come closer to answering his question: “Who is your Adam who speaks to you about God?”

  12. I am blessed by my friends that I visit who have Alzheimer’s. We communicate by eyes, by smiles and laughter, by touch, by hugs, and sometimes by words. In their vulnerability, I see my vulnerability. I feel God’s love. I see a whole person in them. Like Adam.

  13. 1. For my wife and me, “Adam” is our 43-year-old niece born in Korea who exhibits mild symptoms of Down’s Syndrome. Her parents adopted her when she was about 2 years old, before they were aware of her physical and intellectual issues. We watched from a distance as her parents struggled to have her placed in a regular classroom setting at school, as they arranged for special tutoring arrangements, and as they arranged special group housing and part-time employment. Occasionally, our niece spends weekends with us in our home. We look forward to the weekends when she comes to visit—even though we must put everything else on hold while we keep her occupied, those are times of true blessing for us. My respect and admiration for Henri Nouwen’s deep attachment to Adam soars when I compare our situation with his! Clearly, love we extend to one another repays us double.

    2. Throughout the Bible we are reminded that we are special in God’s sight—from the Old Testament passages about being “the apple of God’s eye” (Psalm 17:8, Zechariah 2:8), to the New Testament declaration of God the Father to His Son: “You are my Son, in you I am well pleased.” Someone might argue that these passages describe God’s conditional love—God accepts us as His children if we please Him. Throughout the ages, however, Christians have strongly insisted that God’s love is unconditional. We are made whole by God’s grace (Ephesians 2:8, II Corinthians 9:15). Because of Christ’s sacrifice and because of the powerful work of His Spirit in us, we can’t help but serve Him with gladness! Not only do I believe this from the heart, but this belief comes to expression in my life! I believe this for Adam; I believe this no less for myself.

    3. Nouwen graphically describes Jesus’ temptations in the desert in his book “In the Name of Jesus” as temptations that each of us must also resist on our own spiritual journey because each temptation entices us to place our ego ahead of our soul: Be relevant—do something the world will praise you for. Be spectacular—jump from the tower so everybody can see you as someone important. Be powerful—kneel before me and I will give you dominion over everyone. Nouwen’s advice to us in this book is similar. On page 37, he writes, “Our world. . . leads us to believe that we must prove our belovedness by how we look, by what we have, and by what we can accomplish. We become pre-occupied with ‘making it’ in this life. . . “ I frankly envy both Jesus and Adam for the ways in which they “lived their sonship among us as the only thing that they had to offer. . . That was their assigned mission.” Nouwen truly moves my heart when he concludes, “That is also my mission and yours. Believing it and living from it is true sanctity.”

    One of my favorite teachers, Christian philosopher of aesthetics Cal Seerveld, would say, “Take hold of God and Pull!” That’s exactly what Henri Nouwen encourages us to do in this priceless book.

  14. You are so right! We do not know if we even have tomorrow. I have my wonderful spouse of nearly 33 years, and know that we, retired pastors, sometimes almost grasp how deeply Christ, Our Beloved, embraces us in such a special, intimate way. It is because of this great Love that we have been able to walk so far to touch so many without getting too lost too many times.
    Jesus, My Beloved, has shown me the “Adam” in so many youth over the years, from the gang kids in the barrios to the dirt poor whose parent, if they still have one, is doing drugs most of the time, to the supposedly “regular” kids in a nice small town, most of whom know the alienation of preoccupied parents for whatever reason; failure of someone to share the Hope that only knowing God can bring; having someone tell they them are special, someone worth believing in. These have been the “Adams” who reminded me that just as Christ is in me and I am in Christ, we are in these children, and we need to take the time to be there with a Light shining that does not discriminate or judge, but rather waits out the rebellious quirks to unveil the longing need for “Hope That Doesn’t Disappoint.” Who will bring such Light? I have just retired. I am praying for someone else to jump into their lives with That Light.

  15. Today’s meditation (March 7) from Bread for the Journey struck me hard. Parenthood as a gift is something I learned. The four adult children who are my immediate family taught me about the gift. The meditation and this study seem to be in stark contrast. It is when I remember the “both-and-ness” of life that the contrast becomes illuminating.

    I have reflected on the questions. No one in my seven decades has experienced anything similar to what I have read so far about the Arnetts’ life.

    Then I reviewed the questions. The first question asks about who is someone in my life? I was not mindful enough. Paul worked as a Lutheran pastor in a parish other than my own. We came to be dear friends because one of his daughters married one of my sons (parents’ possessives notwithstanding). Over the brief years of our friendship he revealed God as the loving father and the grieving father. He died too soon for me (though I guess not for God) during an experimental chemotherapy session. He lives in my memory and my heart.

    I live in the Sonoran desert. The desert is fostering my spiritual growth. I grabbed on to chapter two.

    The verses: Matthew 3:17 (Mark 1:11 and Luke 3:22 in parallel), 1 John 4:10, Romans 5:8, Ephesians 2:4, Jeremiah 31:33-34

    And yes, I believe it for me, and for Adam, and for you.

  16. From A.C.
    I also am a little late to the party, but look forward to being a part of this online discussion. It is my first. Ironically, before I knew about this online discussion, I had decided to have a book discussion on Adam, God’s Beloved with my local church and have about 10 individuals who will meet each Thursday morning during Lent for similar. I look forward to this journey with both groups.

    From Dawn
    I live in Austin, Texas and have read many Nouwen books. I read Adam many years ago and recall it being a great blessing. I look forward to discussing it with fellow readers.

    1. I live in Louisville KY and am deeply grateful for this on-line forum to reflect and discuss Henri’s profound yet simple theological perspectives. His life continues to challenge me around issues of my intimacy with God and how that translates into my relatiosnips with both myself and others. Adam’s brokenness reminds me of my own. I may not be disabled as he was in covert ways, but the dysfunctional dynamics of growing up in an alcoholic family and the resultant determination to look normal and be perfect to compensate becomes a disability in its own right. My self will to do it myself separates me from God, others and myself. It shapes my self image. And like Adam, it can be stymatizing when seen in aberrant ways when intersecting with a world that looks down on weakness and praises strength. In one sense, Adam’s life is reminiscent of Jesus statement: “The poor you will always have with you.” That ‘poorness’ comes in many forms and holds up a mirror that reflects the poorness of each of our souls. I can either fill that hole in the soul with power, status and money or accept my powerlessness and give it to God. It confronts me with the ancient question of whom I will serve: will I work hard to cover the shame or will I surrender to God to transform my brokennes into bread for a broken world? It brings me to my knees and makes me realize that Jesus didn’t come to save the self-righteous but broken people who need a physician. Frankly, I find this hard to swallow. But it seems to be the tipping point of transformation that turns my collective disabilities into divine gifts to give to the world.

      1. Beverly,
        Thanks for this reflection. You and I have shared about our similar dysfunctional childhoods in earlier discussions. I was touched (and convicted)) by your comment: “My self will to do it myself separates me from God, others and myself.” This certainly applies to me.

        I found this prayer in The Reason for God by Timothy Keller, the founder of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in NYC. It speaks to me and may do to you also:
        “Father, I’ve always believed in you and Jesus Christ, but my heart’s most fundamental trust was elsewhere–in my own competence and decency. This has only gotten me into trouble. As far as I know my own heart, today I give it to you, I transfer my trust to you, and I ask that you would receive and accept me not for anything I have done but because of everything Christ has done for me.”

        1. Ray,
          Thank you for this prayer from Tim Keller. I met his wife and him last spring at Gordon Conwell Seminary. His prayer certainly does capsulize my deep longing and I like the “as far as I know my own heart today, I give it to you.” Somehow, this dysfunction for me has been a chronic dysthymia that casts a shadow of sadness across my life. Henri’s longing for belonging is so much like my own. Yet because it wasn’t fulfilled where it developmentally could have been, I continue to look for that deep connection in the community of faith. But while I desire closeness I fear abandonment. Hence the steel self-will that says “I can do it myself.”

  17. My Adam is my great-nephew who is very much like Adam because he has Angleman’s type Syndrome. We live across the country from each other so I only see him a couple of weeks each year. He is unable to talk or take care of his basic needs. He has such a happy disposition. all he knows is love and gives love to everyone. Youndon’t have to be with him very long to fall in love with him.

    I know he is Beloved by God and loved dearly by my sister, his grandmother, with whom he lives. My sister is really an inspiration to me because she lovingly cares for him and works with him so that he can reach his potential. She says she misses him so much even if he is gone a few days to the other grandmother’s house and says that if he could speak he would say “Nonie why do you keep kissing me all the time”.

    Both my sister and my nephew remind me that God is with us always because we are all beloved of God and don’t have to prove ourselves to be loved. We need people like my sister and nephew to show us love because we are God’s hands and heart in the flesh.

  18. 2b. For me, It’s easier to believe Adam is the Father’s beloved because of the vulnerability and innocence.
    C. Harder to believe that I’m a beloved son because I base my worth on performance . This spills over many times to how I view others unfortunately.

    Pg 31 quote, As a spiritual teacher he would lead us ever so gently to those inner spaces we prefer to leave untouched, so that each of us could live out our true vocations.
    What I get from this interesting sentence is that Adam’s disability had a power to call forth something deep within Henri’s heart that an able bodied, typical person
    couldn’t–the heart trumps intellect in it’s ability to pierce.

  19. I live in Ossining, a suburban town in Westchester, NY. This is my first on-line learning experience. The only other Nouwen book I’ve read is “The Return of the Prodigal Son.” I’m a retired nurse who worked for most of my career with severely mentally ill veterans. I can certainly relate to the harried staff in the chronic care hospital!
    I’m in awe of Adam’s parents; those of us with “normal” children know what a taxing job all parenthood is. They, too, were gifted by God, to be able, not only to do what they did, but to receive Adam’s gifts, accept his mission, & celebrate his teachings.
    I look forward to growing & learning with the others on the journey. May God bless us & grant us a holy Lent.

    1. Susan,
      I am writing from my father-in-laws house in Yorktown Heights where my wife and her siblings will spend the weekend cleaning out and saving things from their childhood home. Their Dad has Alzheimer’s and moved to the NYS Veterans Home – Montrose several months ago. Any chance that is where you worked? I want to thank you for your lifetime of dedication to our veterans in need where ever you served.
      Ray

      1. Hi Ray-
        The NYS Veterans’ Home is right across the street from the federal facility where I worked all those years, & I had a vet who was a friend who spent time in both places as well. It certainly puts me in mind of Adam, God’s Beloved, since there were–and are–so many Adams there. There are Henris, too, but perhaps not as many as one might hope for!
        Thanks be to God for the one who wrote the book, who helps us all become more like him, more able to find the Adams in our midst.

  20. From Julie D
    Hello. I’m a bit late to the party but eager to participate in Nouwen’s online book discussion.

    I am a mother of a special needs child who shares many similarities to Adam. My son, Thomas, is almost 5 years old and non-verbal. He suffers from daily seizures, developmental delays, etc.

    I was first introduced to Henri Nouwen after calling into a local radio talk show and asking the host about God’s plan for my son. She directed me to Nouwen’s work and “Adam, God’s Beloved” was the first book I picked up. It was an emotional read for me but it helped put things into perspective. I am looking forward to reading it again and sharing the experience with others here online.

    Thank you.

  21. From Ray Klapwyk
    Christian greetings from central Minnesota!
    It’s especially exciting for me to join a discussion of “Adam, God’s Beloved.” Hopefully, I will learn, through this discussion, to connect more closely to what it means for me to be God’s beloved.

  22. From Kim Bowen
    Greetings on this first Sunday of Lent. I first became acquainted with Henri Nouwen’s writings through a colleague who suggested that I read Nouwen’s book about Blessed Stan Rother, Love in a Fearful Land: a Guatemala Story as a preface to my trip to Guatemala for university work. I was blessed by a visit to Father Rother’s martyrdom site in Santiago Atitlán. Praying there, I was inspired by Rother’s unfailing witness to servanthood for God’s kingdom. Now again, in Adam, I am moved by Nouwen’s hesitant but willing openness to move to L’Arche as a servant in order to discover what God has in store for him there. I am thinking of the times in my life when I have not been so open to entering a situation that I assume will be difficult. However, by moving forward in faith and trust, I have found that God calls me not to a “burden,” but to an opportunity of blessed servanthood that increases my understanding of His love for me.

  23. From Brenda
    Hi from Dublin, Ireland.
    I’m looking forward to reading this book. I enjoy the daily meditations. They really touch me and make me reflect. Thank you.

    From Allyson
    I am from South Carolina and have been reading Nouwen for some time. This is my first online book discussion.

  24. I am drawn to people like Adam. I did not know why until I read this book again for the discussion. Adam is always himself. ” He did not need any spiritual training to be totally open to God, because it was already given to him (sorry, I cannot quote the exact word for I am reading the translated version other than English)”. My Adam, who is my friend’s son, knows it when I am pretending to be a good person. He knows it when I am lying. He encourages me to be myself. He wants me to be myself. I am God’s beloved as I am. I do not need to pretend. I do not need to earn it. Adam reminds me of that.

    Thank you for the questions. They really are helpful.
    I am participating from East Asia. I am so excited to be a part!

  25. Who is my Adam?
    As I reflected on this question, I kept coming back to my wonderful dad, who developed Alzheimer’s Disease in the last five years of his life. As his language skills were starting to slip, he wrote down the story of his conversion when he was almost 6. It was 1917 and his world was in turmoil: his father had been conscripted into the Russian army and had been away from home for years, his beloved grandfather had died, and the German occupying army had recently retreated from his village. One evening during his family’s prayer time and when he was at his grandmother’s knee, he asked Jesus into his heart and could believe he had become his child. At the end of Dad’s story he writes: “I have never been in doubt that Jesus loves me and I love him and that I am his child.” As his Alzheimer’s Disease and other ailments progressed, I watched him hold onto that trust and saw God grace him with a special experience of being held in the arms of Jesus.
    Dad’s faith experiences have strengthened and informed my own faith. Although he was used to being strong and smart, he was willing to “drink his cup.” As he declined mentally and physically, he grew spiritually. His love feels ever near me even though he died over 20 years ago. I continue to be full of gratitude to be so deeply blessed.

  26. From Cathy Berger
    I am from Indianapolis and read Henri Nouwen devotional in the mornings. Always inspired and I am looking forward to reading this book. I am a second language teacher in the Indianapolis public schools and I too learn so much from my students. Looking forward to this Lenten discussion.

  27. To me being the Beloved is to live life in the Spirit and love of God. To Become the Beloved is the great spiritual journey we all have to make. Augustine’s words: “My soul is restless until it rests in you, O God,” capture well this journey.
    “Becoming the Beloved means letting the truth of our Belovedness become a part of everything we think, say or do.” This is something we strive for. Henri strived to live it and felt that Adam did also.

    1. Thanks for including Augustine’s quote, Connie. It is one of my favorites, and so appropriate for our topic.

  28. 1 a. and b. My 15 yr old daughter Julia is my Adam. She was born at 25 weeks gestation and spent 3 months in neonatal intensive care. She is non verbal and has cerebral palsey on her left side, plus isn’t potty trained. Her spirit makes her a joy to live with and parent. Julias gift to the world is her musical prowess. She hears a song once and plays it; no sheet music needed as she has perfect pitch and a sharp memory. She plays keyboards at two special needs services each month—rejoicing spirits is the name. She has also played for seniors at a local nursing home and for infants at our former church. She doesn’t “strike a pose” for anyone, meaning she is who she is–uninhibited.

    2. A. Surprisingly , the verse that came to mind is John 3:16, for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son. I guess we are His beloved.

  29. Adam’s specialness was evident to everyone who came in contact with him. Adam’s parents adored him and so did his brother, Michael, and all their friends. His message as the “peacemaker” is a wonderful reminder of God’s expectation, from each of us, when we’re faced with problems at work or at home. While our family never experienced Adam’s family life, we did have one of our’s taken to Heaven before he was 10 years old. During his brief time with our family, he truly was like Adam – an Angel with a powerful message. Always cheery, a cuddleler, the family mediator with a big, love-filled heart. Adam’s story, for me, serves as a beautiful reminder, during this Lent prayer period, to schedule time with God, each day, and express my gratitude, thankfulness and love. Working through all the noise/distractions in our culture is becoming more & more challenging, yet if we can view the world through Adam’s, & though Jesus’, loving eyes, we might just be able to affect the changes God wants . . . and hopefully, make this way of living, a year-long, mindful daily-habit.

  30. The one message that spoke most clearly to me in Chapters 1 & 2 was simply this: we are human BEings, not human DOings. I believe that this is why I am in our discussion group — to remind myself once again of this truth. I’ve “known” it for decades and have taught it to others for many years, yet living life in this world robs us of its simplicity. Henri writes:

    “It had to do with his [Adam’s] being. he was and is a beloved child of God…Life is a gift. Each one of us is unique, known by name, and loved by the One who fashioned us. Unfortunately, there is a very loud, consistent, and powerful message coming to us from our world that leads us to believe that we must prove our belovedness by how we look, by what we have, and by what we can accomplish” (p.36).

    This is what I long to rediscover in our time together in this Lenten season. To just sit and bask in the love and acceptance that flow freely towards me from our Lord; not dependent on what I do or how much I deserve it, but simply because I am His child.

    My heart does not yearn for more theology… it yearns for a more intimate relationship with my Creator.

    1. Yes, I am trying to know God in a relationship rather than learning more theology or things about God. It takes time and prayer. More challenging for me.

      1. Yes, for all of us, I think. I went to seminary and earned a Master of Divinity degree. Am grateful for the education. But education doesn’t take the place of intimacy with the Lord. That is what I am trying to deepen in my walk these days… which is why Henri Nouwen is so dear to my heart. 🙂

  31. Who is my Adam? Brought back wonderful memories of the folks I had the privilege to be with in my years at our Association for Retarded Citizens. They were open, honest, authentic. REAL!!
    TRUTH stood out to me “the truth will set you free” To me, there is true freedom in our Belovedness. Yes, I see this in Adam and his parents. Through much sorrow and suffering I now live in this truth.
    Though Adams early life was a struggle the light in him and in parents never went out. Courage, love, perserverance, life giving love prevailed.

  32. From David Block
    I live in Jeffersonville, Indiana – right across the river from Louisville, KY. I am in my mid 50’s and have always worked with people who carry the same label as Adam. When I started out in this field in the early 80’s my boss at the time (and mentor) had us all read one of Henri’s books — Reaching Out: the Three Movements of the Spiritual Life. We focused a lot on the gift of hospitality and how the people we were getting to know in a deep and meaningful way had a lot of “hospitality” to offer others in the community – as Henri discovered with Adam. At this same time I became familiar with Jean Vanier and the L’Arche community and kept somewhat abreast of his work. I never did read any more of Henri’s books, or any of his works until this last year when our church started adoration. I signed up for an hour and something I read during lent last year mentioned Henri Nouwen, so I said I needed to look further into his works since I so enjoyed that book nearly 30 years ago. And I was surprised to learn that Henri spent the last 10 years of his life in a L’Arche community — and I had to read Adam. Myself, and many other people I have come to know in my life/career have said how the relationship we have formed with a person(s) with this label has been the best thing ever to happen to us. And how we have learned so much from a person who many consider very vulnerable. I am so looking forward to this discussion — my first ever on-line!

    From Joyanne
    Hello, I live in Northern California and was introduced to Henri Nouwen through Facebook. I truly appreciate His insights from posts as well as emails I receive.
    March 2016 I had the gift of a kidney transplant. My donor was my husband of almost 40 years. God is so good. Although my kidney is doing incredible, I have had numerous other physicial and emotional challenges. I spend most of my time working on finding solutions.

    Reflections from Forward and Inteoduction:
    1. In the Foward, I appreciated that Henri patterns Adam’s story after the life of Jesus. And also that he realized Adam’s story was also a pattern of his story and ours. I look forward to experiencing the correlations.
    2. In the introduction, I appreciated that Adam could’ve been call John or Peter. And that it was not coincidental but also providential. Like the first Adam, our Adam represents every human person and thus raises the question: “Who is your Adam who speaks to you about God? ” That was thought-provoking in both who my Adam is, and who I am an Adam too.
    3. Lastly, I so appreciated the last comment in the intro that says “Through Adam’s story, we will be enabled to recognize God’s story among us and be so empowered to say in a new way to say, “I do believe.”

    In closing, because this current season has been the greatest challenge of my life –I so desire a breakthrough with my faith and I am encouraged that through this Lent season and study it could be a conduit towards such breakthrough.

    From Lisette
    I am new to HenriNouwenSociety.org and looking forward to being part of this discussion for Adam: God’s Beloved. I have recently ordered 3 of Henri’s writings – from reading the Website’s Daily Posts, I know I will throughly enjoy reading his books. Blessing from San Diego.

    From Grant Rickard
    Good day all,

    I am looking forward to participating in this discussion over the next few weeks. Like many others I was introduced to Henri’s writing thru The Return of The Prodigal Son. I now have a picture of Rembrandt’s picture on my wall. I have participated in a couple of these discussion and am ready to participate in this one.

    I live in San Diego Ca, and attend a church called Newbreak.

    thanks all ,

    Grant

  33. I would like to focus on people like Adam’s parents—parents like Rex who would celebrate a child’s act of pushing a vacuum cleaner down a flight of stairs. A “victory” in experiencing his own “power,” Rex said. Rex and Jeanne accepted Adam as a “blessing” and used laughter and faith to see them through this challenging journey.

    I am not the parent of a child like Adam, but I have become a listening ear for a dear friend, a single mom, whose precious child with autism will never go to Harvard, never make the NBA, never allow her the “bragging rights” claimed by some of her friends. Indeed, her son will likely never even live independently. Yet, like Rex and Jeanne, she savors every little victory, every smile, every race run at Special Olympics. Her child is a blessing.

    I am not the teacher of a child like Adam, but both of my daughters are. I meet the parents of their students at fundraisers for children with disabilities. At the “strollathon” for children with epilepsy, I watched *Mia’s parents, both movie star gorgeous, both accomplished professionals, get down and boogie with their little girl, a five-year-old whose brain has been devastated by an untold number of seizures. Oh, the giggles, the dancing as if they hadn’t a care in the world! At a walk sponsored by a Downs Syndrome organization *Jake’s mom handed Team Jake clown noses, boas, wigs, and gaudy necklaces so that we would “look our best” for the walk. Their children are a blessing. (*Names changed, of course.)

    As a middle school community service director, I have taken my young volunteers to the Ronald McDonald House to play with the patients and their healthy sibs. Sometimes the weary parents also enjoyed the diversions we provided. Once a shaving cream sculpture contest erupted into a shaving cream war when a father hurled the first salvo at his child. When I warned against the danger of possibly getting shaving cream in someone’s eye, the dad laughed and told me to lighten up. “Shaving cream does not begin to compare to ten rounds of chemo,” he said. “Seize the joyful moment, and hang on tight.” His child was a blessing.

    What lessons these parents can teach about unconditional love. Seize joy, and hang on tight.

  34. I have done these book study before and really enjoyed each one. I am a retired registered nurse of 57 year am a Eucharist minister at both my parish and at a hospital. It is a wonderful ministry. I am a cradle Catholic who has practiced the faith for 77 years and my husband is now 80 years old having practiced the catholic faith for all of these years. I use my time praying, going to daily Mass, reading, writing, following basketball, being with family. We, my husband and I have been married for 53 years. Some of our time we recall things of the pass, recalling how things were years ago. We both went to the Catholic grade and high school plus studied theology in a catholic college. As we age we have good health although my husband as experienced some difficulties. I will be doing the book discussion and share with him.
    I have 40 of Henri’s books. We hope to make a good Lent as we do not know if this is our last Lent.

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